How quickly time flies! It would seem that most recently you brought home your miracle home from the hospital and could not admire them. Time passed, the kid grew, grew stronger, developed. And as if we did not want to, but the time is coming when our baby passes into adulthood. Entering the transition age, our children go through all the problems and difficulties of this period. Our children change not only externally and physically, but their thinking, consciousness also changes. The organism passes from one stage to another. Many parents experience great difficulties in communicating with children at this age. You need to know exactly how to survive the transitional age without spoiling the relationship with your child.
During the transition period, our children go through a lot of difficulties and difficulties. The organism at this age changes significantly, the child's psyche changes, puberty, the outlook changes. At this age, the child's nervous system is very overloaded with all these changes and changes in the body.
Transitional age - why is it needed?
Psychologists believe that the transition age occurs in children from 11 years. But at someone it occurs or happens much later, and at someone earlier. During this age, the child changes radically, both internally and externally. Because of a lack of understanding of all these changes, parents and children experience conflicts and quarrels. During this period the child tries to understand and find his place in this life. From a good child, whom only recently your entire family has admired, it starts to grow harmful, all of this is affected by too low self-esteem, so do not be surprised at the age of transition - this is quite normal. But all this can have a bad effect on the nature of your child. He can become rude, irritable, the child closes and does not let anyone in, spending his time in complete solitude. In the transition period, children are very dependent on the opinions of strangers. It is very important for them that they will think about what they will say, they think that everyone is watching them. Therefore, any mockery, rude criticism, remarks - all this can drive in a corner and deliver a child traumatic injuries.
Parents need to try to get into the position and understand how to survive the transitional age. The best thing parents can do is try to raise a child's self-esteem. Show him that he can achieve something, try to provide him with moral support. Here, give examples from your life, point out your mistakes.
The main thing is not to press
It is still unclear who is experiencing the transition age: parents or even children. Never try to solve the problem with the help of shouts, any prohibitions, and even less moral teachings. When you forbid something to a child, he perceives it as a challenge and does the opposite, to spite parents. Most importantly, it is to understand to parents that your child is far from being a toddler, who needs to be watched and cared for, he is already well-formed - with his demands, principles, views on life and desires. Life is taught to teach at such an age the child is already useless. Therefore, the best way out in such a situation is to try to give advice, to communicate with him on an equal footing. Do not try to force him to do something and fix his brains, it's useless. Many parents wonder how to survive a transitional age without quarreling with your child? But not many use the most simple methods.
The problems of your child should be treated with understanding, as to their problems, even if they seem rather stupid and ridiculous to you. If you refuse to help the child with advice and brush off his problems, he will never trust you again. He will feel your misunderstanding, will not share his problems with you, and every your next attempt to help understand a problem will be perceived by them in hostility. Sometimes it happens that the child does not communicate with his parents at all. In such situations, it is best to contact psychologists, or to use the service of trust. You can use the services of a psychologist for free and discuss the problem with him.
And yet, never force your child to do what he does not like. For example, it can be dancing, art, gymnastics, music. Let your child decide what he needs and what to do in this life. If you force the child to do something, in the end he will abandon the matter anyway, and will do what he likes. It is better to talk with the child, find out about his plans, passions for anything and suggest yourself choose what to do.
It is useless to forbid anything
Age of transition can be experienced without problems, if you find a common language with the child. Often adolescents tend to appear adults, especially in their own circle. If you notice that your child began to indulge in alcohol and cigarettes, do not panic. In such situations it is not necessary to arrange scandals for children and hysteria, it will not change from this and will not stop doing it. We need to discuss this topic with the child, point out to him all the pros and cons of what he is doing, let him analyze everything himself, draw conclusions about his actions. Do not try to threaten him and put pressure on him. He will not appreciate it. At this age, adolescents rarely think about their future, they try to live one day. In a calm form, point out to him all the shortcomings of his pampering, so that he pondered.