"I'm not kissing," says the heroine Julia Roberts, a prostitute in the movie "Pretty Woman." For some, this phrase is a symbol of pragmatic sex, devoid of even a shadow of romance.
Practice with meanings
Oral sex is practiced by almost everyone who has sex. Few dare to admit that they are "not to taste" - in a literal and figurative sense. But such people exist, and there are not so few of them. "Even in a conversation among themselves, it is not easy for women to admit to aversion to fellatio. Many of my friends say that they love it, because they want to give the impression of free, uncomplexed women. But in fact, this is not quite true. " Someone does not like the taste or consistency of sperm, someone's movement of the male member in the mouth cause a vomiting reflex. There are also men who will never offer a partner to make cunnilingus. "Unlike vaginal sex, oral, taste, touch, and sense of smell are involved. It happens that the appearance of a person excites, and its smell causes disgust. Research in the field of neurology has proved that women are especially attracted to those men whose scent is not similar to the smell of her father. So there is an unconscious selection of genes for the birth of a viable offspring. An important role in oral sex is played by hygiene. If its rules are followed, then this practice usually excites a partner. Only prejudice or an unfortunate prior experience can interfere. Mutual sniffing and licking is part of the sexual interaction of all primates, to which we, people, belong. Strangely enough, it is this that can ward off oral sex. Licking - means to be like an animal.
Feel more relaxed
Remember that sex is a spontaneous creativity. Here you can play, come up with something new, try again, enjoy your freedom, feel special and enjoy the fact that all the rights to yourself belong to ourselves. Try new roles. Sex implies the ability to give and receive, trust and win trust, rule and obey. Roles are not assigned once and for all, we can change them and come up with new ones. Do not give in to compulsion. In sex, only a game of "violence" is allowed - coercion is not the place. After all, sexuality is one of the expressions of our desires. If we are embarrassed to engage in oral sex, there is no sense in forcing ourselves to do this. There are many other ways to get and give pleasure. For some, oral sex can be synonymous with substitutive sexuality. Even before the onset of sexual activity, adolescents undergo a petting period, get sexual satisfaction, excite erogenous zones without touching the genitals (kisses, hugs, stroking, mutual rubbing of the genitals through clothing, etc.). And only then they pass to the stimulation of the genitals by the hands and oral stimulation. Perhaps, for this reason, someone perceives oral caresses as an immature form of sex. " To oral sex more often than others, young couples who live in areas where tradition requires the preservation of virginity before marriage, resort. In addition, religious ban on oral sex still exists. But here, too, there is no single-mindedness: it is this circumstance that in some cases enhances enjoyment, fueling it with a sense of breaking former taboos.
The question of the depth of feelings
The mouth is one of the most erogenous zones of our body. The willingness or refusal to caress the partner with lips and tongue shows how great or, on the contrary, the closeness and trust in the pair are not enough. "In an ordinary kiss, there is more intimacy than in some sexual acts. All ten years of her depression Laura tried to understand why fellatio and kisses suddenly became disgusting to her. She read books, listened to what people of different ages and circles say. I even came to the group psychotherapy classes to figure it out. I was especially impressed by the story of one woman from the group, Olga. She hated kissing, the thought of blowjob, caused her to shudder, and in sex she preferred that the partner was behind her. But one day she fell in love more than ever before. And suddenly she wanted all this. It turned everything over her sex life. She turned 54 then. " Being engaged in oral sex, we see directly in front of the partner's sexual organs. They are different from our own - and this may not like. But a strong feeling helps to overcome hostility. New sensations and emotions overwhelm the head, and pleasure takes precedence over disgust. Sometimes, alas, and in another way: we are doing something, forcing ourselves to overcome aversion for fear of being abandoned. This is a bad practice. Violence over yourself can lead to the fact that over time, any form of sex will cease to bring joy. Neither yourself nor your partner should be forced to do anything. However, it is worth to seduce, offer and try. Acceleration of excitement opens new ways of enjoying each other. At such times, the previous barriers are broken and the prohibitions disappear. When Laura confessed to Oleg, her second husband, that she was disgusted with oral sex before their meeting, he was intrigued: "I was wondering if it's only natural for women to feel their passion like this - literally to taste. I talked to a few of my friends - and was surprised to learn that some of them do not like kissing, and cunnilingus causes them to be squeamish. " If a boy grows up in a "domestic" subculture, then he can adopt the rules typical for her. By these rules, some things can not be done, and why - is not explained. Just everyone knows that cunnilingus is "not in a patsan way." I had men at the reception who liked doing cunnilingus, but before that they took from their girlfriend the word that she would never tell anyone about it. Another thing - fellatio. Some men seem to not even consider it to be sex. Bill Clinton confidently spoke at a press conference about Monica Lewinsky, with whom he indulged in oral games: "I did not have sexual relations with this woman." Sex without penetration - for men it is sometimes a way not to bind oneself with obligations, to receive satisfaction, avoiding spiritual intimacy. For the same reason, some women perceive fellatio as humiliation. But in a love couple, oral caresses acquire a completely different meaning: they testify to the trust and desire to make the other pleasant.
Without coercion
Enjoyment leads to pleasure. This requires carefulness and tenderness. " Because in oral sex from a partner depends, perhaps, more than in any other. At all, everything happens in different ways, and each case reveals new secrets of love alchemy.