Anna seems that our story with Max began and ended very long ago. So many events happened in my life after parting with him. But I still remember Leonidov with sadness and I do not know why it's from resentment or guilt. In the late eighties, the beat-quartet "Secret" gained incredible popularity. Especially in St. Petersburg. Everyone loved him, even the older generation. Because the guys from the "Secret" though they portrayed the hooligans, in fact they were well-bred, sweet boys. Mom said: "Look, what good, intelligent." But they were not my type. I loved rock and went crazy with Grebenshikov. From the corner of her ear she heard that Leonidov then left for Israel, but it was completely indifferent to me. I graduated from high school, then the theater institute. I entered the Komissarzhevskaya Theater. One evening I was invited to shoot a TV program. I come: in the studio of turmoil and suddenly Leonidov and his administrator Sasha enter. They appeared - and all the people around somehow immediately became smaller, dimmer, because these two were incredible handsome. Stately, tall, bright. Maxim, whom I considered to be "my little mother's son," became quite different after emigration-strict, serious. And most importantly - adults. At that time he was thirty-three or thirty-four, and I was twenty. We were introduced. We looked at each other, and all ... When at first sight there is an invisible connection with Anna - this is with nothing to be confused. The electric discharge, the spark spill between people, and they are doomed to romance, they begin to be irresistibly drawn to each other. I lost my head and made a mistake that Max never could forgive Anna ... Leonidov and I were very different, as if from different planets. His parents are from the theatrical environment. Max followed in the footsteps of his father, the famous actor Leonid Leonidov in St. Petersburg. And Anna's mother served as an engineer, her work seemed to me monotonous and uninteresting. True, my grandmother was a well-deserved artist, the prima of the Leningrad Theater of Musical Comedy. I still admire her, but I'm not very similar to her character. Max always lived in the city center, on the Moika, near the Hermitage and Dvortsovaya. And I lived on Veterans Avenue - it's a suburb, a big village. I went to a regular school in the district, and Max studied at the Capella school. There were only musically gifted boys, with an absolute hearing. From morning till night they had lessons, rehearsals, concerts of the choir and no personal life. And I was mostly interested in love in high school.
First love
The first time I fell in love seriously with the eighth class. His name was Dima. He was older, had already graduated from school and worked as a driver. Very nice guy, like with the cover of the magazine. All the girls dreamed of him. And he chose Anna. I came to the school on my truck and waited, standing by the cabin. It was awesome! I left after the lessons, and together we left. And everyone was jealous of me! He was exactly the type that I always liked, - hooligan, completely otvyazny. He was very cheerful with him. We even wanted to get married. Mother could do nothing. She tried to be strict, but she could not cope with me. At some point, when I, having dropped the lessons, When I wanted to escape to my beloved, my mother stood in the doorway: "I will not let you go! Lie down here at the door. " "Lie down, Mom. I'll step over "wanted to run away to her lover, she got up at the door.
"You're not going anywhere."
- No, I'm going.
"I will not let you go!" Lie down here at the door! And you'll go for a walk, just step over me!
"Lie down, Mom." I'll step over.
Anna could not be kept. I did not understand anything, I flew on the wings of love, that's all! And then fell in love with another ... Compared with this guy, the other suitors looked just chickens. He was a Buddhist and subdued me with his special outlook on life. Constantly invented something. Could, for example, instead of a taxi arrive on a huge old limousine and drive to Astoria to drink coffee. With him we went to visit my distant relative in Greece, and it's scary to even remember our adventures there. They ran away from restaurants without paying, stealing all sorts of nonsense in supermarkets. Only by a miracle we were not detained by the police. Sometimes it was embarrassing, but more often - fun. Youth, like wine, hit our heads and twisted them in a whirlwind of pleasures. And Max was completely different. Even in my youth. He is by nature - reserved, correct, aristocratic. He studied very well at LGITMiK, he was adored by both students and teachers. Then he married, became an exemplary husband ... And then - me. When they started to appear together, it was very evident how different we are. From the minute we met on the set, we never parted. But Max often went to Israel to his parents and wife, Irina Selezneva. I knew that Max was married, but, despite this, I moved to him. Of course, now I would not do that. Their marriage with Ira in the theater party was considered ideal. The fact is that the initiator of emigration was Max. For his sake Selezneva, who played the leading roles in Lev Dodin, left the Maly Drama Theater, sacrificed her career. Irina has a strong character, she was an athlete, even like a master of sports. Arriving in a foreign country, Selezneva learned Hebrew and became very popular in Israel theatrical actress. And Max somehow did not work out, or he really did not know what he wanted. I turned around and decided to come back, offered it to Ira. But now she said no. I did not want to start all over again. Max was faced with a choice. On the one hand, he owed much to his wife and felt his responsibility to her, on the other - he could no longer live in Israel. And he was torn between Peter and Tel Aviv. And then he began to tear between Anna and Ira ... It was very difficult for him, but I did not understand it, because I was practically a child - a lover, a selfish one. I saw that Max was in love, and demanded that he did not hide me, walked everywhere with me, said that I was his girlfriend. After reading the next interview, she rolled up scenes of jealousy: "Why did you say about Ira? After all, you are with me! I should have said about me! "I could not hear that his wife was Ira. After all, he loves me, and here is another woman ?! She put ultimatums: "Either I - or she. If she is your wife, go to her! Live with it! And that's all! And do not call me! "I remember with horror how I behaved. Shame on Ira. Max had to make a decision not to torment us. And he went to Israel to talk with his wife. Before leaving, he gave me a pager, then there were no mobile phones. And now I'm walking along Gorokhovaya Street, and suddenly a message comes: "I love you. Very! "So Leonidov said everything to Ira and they parted. He chose me! And now we really are together! Our life has become like a fairy tale. It was the most beautiful time, full of love and bliss. Even my hooligan temper was hushed up, I always smiled at the feelings that were overwhelming me.
Family relationships
In our alliance, I was a child, and Max was an adult. He went shopping, cooked food, spoiled me, even learned to cook my favorite pilaf. I did not know anything about the refusal, and everything he did for me, did with love. I bought what I asked for, we went to the restaurants that I liked. I spent as much money as I wanted. Basically on bullshit. Max persuaded:
"Please, buy yourself something."
"I have a full wardrobe!"
- No, it's not that ... Buy good.
- I have everything good. Look, what shorts and T-shirt. Does it suit me?
"Everything goes for you, but it's cloth, not clothes." I want you to buy yourself a real expensive thing.
I was laughing:
- What for? I really like you!
Probably, Max pushed me to the fact that I grew up. But I'm not fixated on money, on luxury. A smart thing to me and now it's hard to buy, it's better to type a lot of different, not necessarily expensive. The main thing that was pleasant. Leonidov often tried to educate me, and I, on the contrary, fooled in his presence more than usual. And although we looked terrific together, the difference in age and behavior was very noticeable. Max is over thirteen years old. We were even sometimes mistaken for dad and daughter. And we with it with pleasure played this game. Max said that this is the first time in my life ... I think it was. A month before our acquaintance Leonidov wrote "A Girl-Vision". As he said - he had a premonition of love. And then I appeared in his life. "Girl-Vision" became a hit. And from that moment on, glory began to return to Max. He wrote new songs, composed them quickly and anywhere - at breakfast, in the bathroom. He said that they were all about me, for me ... Max worked very hard. He just released an album, and he already composed songs for the next one. He did not refuse any speeches - it was necessary to re-conquer the audience. And so it happened: he has concerts around the country, and I have a tour in Kazan, very long. I left, we missed mad. Called a million times a day, dreamed of a meeting, but he had such a busy schedule that he could not escape. And then I decided to make a surprise. His next concert was in Nizhny Novgorod. I found out from the administrator of Sasha when Leonidov arrives there, and also arrived. I waited at the station. Max did not know anything, Sasha did not give out. And so the train came up and Max saw me ... He had such a surprised-happy face! He ran to me on the platform, embraced, began to kiss. And then he says:
"Listen, do we have to part?" Do not we need to be together?
- But you have a tour. And from me.
- No. You can not do it this way. I do not want. I already had this. It's not love and not life ...
I did not argue. And then I decided to quit my job. The head of the theater Viktor Abramovich Novikov let me go. True, he ironically remarked: "Go, take a walk. Soon you'll be back. " He was familiar with Max and treated him very well. But still, probably, he saw a lot of young actresses. And I'm not the first one who decided to leave the stage and become a faithful wife. He knew how it ends. Now I have always been close to Max - on recording music in the studio, at rehearsals, at concerts and filming. He liked it terribly. We had such a love that we could not tear ourselves apart for a moment. Max needed to touch me all the time. We hugged and kissed everywhere, paying no attention to anyone. On the set of the film "Spirit", during a break, they lay down on the asphalt and lay in an embrace. We were told: "Stop it! It's already sickening to look at you! "But we could not help it. We were happy. I have a world locked in Max, I lost friends and girlfriends. In some legend it is said that people were divided into halves. And we found each other, became one creature. So when, after a few years, it was over, it seemed to me that my hand was torn off, my leg ... my head was cut off, my condition was terrible. And he, probably, too. But in those days we were still happy and thought it was forever. Max was very jealous of me. To all. He said that he did not know what jealousy was, but now he's going crazy. He asked me to dress more modestly. And to me, on the contrary, I wanted to look beautiful, sexy - for him. I loved short skirts and blouses that emphasized the figure. They very much went to me. Max played a lot on clubs. I watched the concert from the audience. The audience did not know who I was, and often men approached me with offers to meet or dance. Of course, I refused, but Max still worried. Once during a concert with me began to flirt with some guy and still did not stop. And then Max from the stage said: "Get away from her! This is my wife! "And then he begged:" Next time, sit down somewhere in the corner. It will be calmer for me. I do not want to be pestered. Put on a black turtleneck, maybe then they will not pay attention to you. " We have been together for a long time and very much wanted to get married. But Selezneva did not agree to a divorce. In Israel, its laws and divorce is quite difficult. Ira asked for a huge sum. Then it enraged me, but now I understand - insult was speaking in it. So she took revenge on Max for treachery. Leonidov hired lawyers in Israel, but the trial was long and costly. We looked terrific together, but the difference in age and behavior was very noticeable. We were even sometimes mistaken for dad and daughter.
On our relations, the absence of a stamp in the passport had no effect. We lived a real family life. Max has already started to make good money, and we bought an apartment in the center, on Bolshaya Moskovskaya Street. Did the repair. They chose furniture. It was a very good time. At the invitation of his friend, Andrey Makarevich, Max began to conduct the television program "Eh, roads." For the shooting had to travel the world. We went together. I got into a wonderful company - Leonid Yarmolnik, Andrei Makarevich, Boris Grebenshchikov. I was ready to talk without sleep and rest, to see new places. For Max it was not as easy as for me. While I was having fun, he worked. He parleyed in front of the camera in the heat, making endless duplicates. And the marching conditions for him became a serious test. Max loves home and coziness very much. But not me. I did not care where to sleep, what to eat, and most importantly to move. Perhaps, it was in these travels that Max's fatigue from our life began to manifest for the first time. But I did not pay attention to it. Max finally got a divorce, and we started to organize a wedding. I do not even remember if he made me an official offer. It was like a matter of course. By the time we lived together for three years. They did not part and could not imagine that we would part one day. Max wanted me to buy a beautiful wedding dress. We went to the store, and I chose an elegant maiden dress, with wings and blue flowers. When I tried it on, Max cried. I was very touching in this dress, just like a girl. I still keep it up. Hanging in the closet at my mother: sometimes I want to look at him, remember - how it was and what I was. Leonidov decided to arrange a celebration in the House of Composers. We had a wedding and a rock concert at the same time. Max sang, our friends sang - Lesha Lebedinskaya, Sergei Galanin, Andrei Makarevich, Boris Grebenshchikov ... And two days later Leonidov took me on a honeymoon. We stopped for a couple of days in some city and flew farther, around the Earth. With my love for travel, it was just a royal gift. In Paris, flew either from Barbados, or from Los Angeles, from somewhere out of heat. And in France - a cold dog, windy, downpour. While we got to the hotel, it was night. But I'm young! I do not care! Leonidov was tired and lay down. I say:
"Max, get up, let's go!" He looked surprised.
- Where?
- Walk! I've always dreamed of Paris!
"Please, let's go tomorrow." We'll walk as much as you want. And now I need to rest.
- Are you, I can not wait until tomorrow! Get up!
"But it's raining there!"
"We'll go for a walk in the rain." Get up right now! Come on!
I persuaded, swore. And he was tired. Everyone has the right to get tired. The flights were heavy. He has already visited all these cities, and more than once. Traveled for me. And I did not understand him. It was awful.
After the wedding
After the wedding he began to constantly remind me that I am his wife. I tried to explain that the "wife" is the keeper. And I did not want to change my life, to give up something. And she did not feel herself exactly "the guardian". I have such a character - I can do everything, but only if I want it myself. I learned how to cook, wash, iron ... I did all the housework. Rather, I played the game: I'm a wife - I rub my shirt, I'm busy on the house. I even mastered Indian cuisine! But it quickly bored me. So, we will play the opposite! And we had to cook Max ... It was not a burden to him in the kitchen. But the fact that I did not want to take care of him, Max grieved. He dreamed of a family home. He said: "I want peace, and with you there is no rest in my life and can not be." I was annoyed by these conversations. Previously, he craved new feelings and emotions, and now suddenly he wanted silence! I told myself: I was created not only for home comfort. And if I did not live up to his expectations, then it's not my fault. I was and will remain as I am. And Max will have to accept it. At the next concert I was standing behind the scenes and suddenly I thought: it became my way of life - to stand behind the scenes and wait for Leonidov. And suddenly I was seized with melancholy. Life has lost its meaning! I do not represent value in itself, only as an appendix to Max. I again wanted to become an actress. When she told Max about this, he did not support me. He wanted me to spend more time with my family. After discussions and quarrels we came to a compromise - decided to work together. I co-starred with Max in the video. Then they decided to play the play for two. Agreed with the director Victor Shamirov, and he began to rehearse with us the play "Filly and the Cat". But it turned out that working together is even more difficult than living. Rehearsals grew into conflicts. I'm maximalist: it will be either way, or not at all. And it is impossible to work on the performance. And with men so it is impossible. Nothing good will come of it. Joint creativity only worsened the situation. Max plunged into his work, and I went to my native Komissarzhevskaya Theater - to ask for back. They took me. Again I felt myself and very happy. At the same time, apparently realizing that the joint life is deteriorating, we began to think about what might unite us: about a common house with a fireplace and a huge living room for friends. Max also talked about "children's", but I missed it. Was not ready to become a mother, sit with a child, change diapers. And Max really wanted children. In marriage with Ira they were not prevented by the theater, rehearsals, crossings. And it turned out the same thing - the wife-actress, she again is not up to the child. And Max approached the forty-year boundary and clearly realized what he wanted. He needed a cozy house, a caring wife and children. I was used to and wanted to be Max's only favorite child. And here everything has changed! He began to educate me, to demand something. I did not like it, and I, like any spoiled child, began to act in defiance. I did not hurry home after rehearsals, I had some things to do, meetings. Max increasingly waited and met with questions: "Where have you been?", "Why was delayed?" I was writing something in response. Max was offended at first. Then he became more closed. Thinking about something. We quarreled. Sometimes they just kept silent, harboring resentment. Sometimes they shouted noisily and noisily reconciled themselves. Again they quarreled. Because I wanted to live my life, and Max could not bear it.
Career
I began to rehearse the play "The Storm" based on Shakespeare's play. Was delighted. Still: the main role, a talented director, wonderful partners. I could only talk about this and think - all was dissolved in the creative process. Family affairs and Max have come to the back burner. Friends of Leonidov sympathized. What once sounded enthusiastic: "Oh, what different you are!", Now it became a verdict - "You are too different." True, friends kept their distance: Max - an adult man and his family problems will decide himself. But there was one person who could not see Max unhappy, - his mother. Leonidov and Irina Lvovna have an amazing relationship. Max's mother died when he was very young, and his new father's wife raised him. Irina Lvovna gave Max all her life, loves the way her own children do not always love. And Max answers her the same. I can not say that she did not accept me. For Irina Lvovna, the main thing is for Max to be happy. Although, of course, she dreamed of another woman for her son - so that she could blow off dust particles and kiss her feet. And in our case it was not so. It seemed to Irina Lvovna that Max loved me more than I did him. And this categorically did not suit him. But at first she was silent. When she began to notice that it was bad for Max, that he was suffering, he ceased to restrain himself. She said: "Why do you believe her? Why so naive? She is deceiving you! She does not have rehearsals! She has novels! "Unfortunately, Irina Lvovna was not the only one. My colleagues in the theater also tried to add fuel to the fire ... I did not pay attention to it, but many of us envied. We did not conceal our happiness - they gave interviews, hand-holding appeared at receptions. People saw Max's attitude toward me. Some people thought that I was unworthy of it. And as soon as there was a chance to quarrel us, they took advantage of this. In the creative environment, "well-wishers" suffice. And I did not understand this, I behaved freely, as if I owed nothing to anyone. At the concerts, Max danced too frankly, flirted. They said to him: look, she does not love you, she's so-and-so. In general, the funnel twisted, twisted ... Max was very hard to survive this. He seemed to know in advance that he would be like this, expected such behavior from me and was angry with himself. The reason was in the mistake I made when we met. Then, on the set, I immediately felt: he is my man. And I used to believe my feelings. I'm used to going after them and not resisting love. The next day, Max invited me to his concert - on the occasion of the Old New Year. After the concert we left together. We spent the evening together. And I stayed with him. At once. Yes. And I'm not ashamed of it. I saw that he really liked him, he told me, too. And it was ridiculous to build it out of myself because we both felt something very similar to love. So why hide from it? In love there is nothing shameful! But Max thought otherwise. He did not mind that I stayed, but then, when our relationship went wrong, I began to ask:
- Did I like you so immediately? Or you with anyone could?
I was laughing:
- Of course, I liked it right away.
He pretended to believe, but this question continued to torment him.
And when Irina Lvovna and "well-wishers" began to say that I have novels, he believed because he was jealous, and convinced himself: I can go with the first person I met, as I once went with him. In general, grievances accumulated, accumulated, and in one day everything collapsed. We lived then in a terrible apartment. It belonged to Max's acquaintances. They sold their money and invested money in the future house, it was only being built. The apartment was in the center, tiny, one-room, dark, on the ground floor, very low, quite on the ground. There were rats in the apartment. Max did not tell me about them until I saw it myself. It's such a horror! I go out into the kitchen, and all our food is bitten, eaten! I was afraid to be alone there. We Leonidov had to go on tour. The day before this morning, I went to the rehearsal, and returned almost at night. Max opened the door.
"Where have you been so long?"
I answered:
- At the rehearsal.
- Clear...
Collected things for the trip. We went to bed. In the morning I needed to go somewhere. Not for long. When I returned, Max was not there. There was not one of his things. There was a note on the table. There are some eerie words in it. I read it several times, could not understand the meaning: "I gave you my whole life ... And you ... Consider that I died for you." Finally I understood. He decided that I was cheating on him, that our life with him was over. Max grudges accumulated in himself. We never talked about our relationship. You can not do it this way. We must talk, discuss, explain each other their actions and desires. And he was silent. And I was silent. And Max decided that he must leave, give me freedom. He would not have left if we could talk. And so ... He thought that it was all over, and he disappeared, fled. When I walked away from the shock, I had a single goal - to find Max, talk and explain everything to him. I knew that he loved me, that if we talked, Max would return. Probably, and he understood this. So he was hiding from me. And hiding so far ... From the moment I returned to the apartment, and to this day we have never spoken. It's horrible. This is the worst thing that could happen between us. Max wrote in a note to let me vacate the apartment for three weeks. And left me three hundred dollars. That's all. I had shootings, rehearsals - everything flew into the tartaras. I started looking for Max. I'm crazy. It was hysteria, insanity, obsession. As a maniac, I walked around his friends and acquaintances, called them, guarded them in those places where Max could appear, was on duty at his mom's apartment. To no avail. Max disappeared. When I wanted to talk with Irina Lvovna, she just closed the door in front of me. Some friends knew exactly where Max was. But they did not. I think we were glad that we broke up. They thought Max was unhappy with me. I'm completely lost. She cried all the time, did not understand anything. And I have to shoot, you need to fly to Minsk. I arrive, but I can not work. I drink some pills soothing. The producer yells: "You are tearing down shots! You pay a penalty, a lot of money! "And I can not collect, my life is over, everything is broken, everything collapsed.
Fate
While we lived with Max, I did not save anything, did not postpone, as do many women. In general, she remained without housing, without money and without a husband. I wanted freedom and got it more than enough. But Max was more difficult. He decided to strike me out of his life. Forget, stop feeling love. And this is not easy. That's why he could not see me. It was too much a test for him. Max was afraid that he could not take it, he would return and everything would start with a new one. He was ill with me. But without me - even worse. As in his song: "Together is impossible and apart in no way". I learned that he will have a concert in some small club. I arrived, told the guards that I was his wife and wanted to get through. They went to Max, I started looking for Max. It was insanity, an obsession. As a maniac, I went around friends, called, guarded his mom's apartment ... to get permission. He replied that he did not know this girl, and asked me to be taken out. The guard yelled: "Where are you breaking? He has no wife! Get out of here. " It was awful, humiliating. But I insisted, I wanted to talk to him. They did not let me. Then I saw him in the store. He stood with the groceries near the cash register. She shouted: "Max!" He saw me, threw food and ran away. Just ran away. He did not know how to behave with me. He could only escape. After a while his lawyer called. He said,
that we need to discuss how to share property. I answered:
"I have one condition." I want to meet and talk with Max.
The lawyer snapped:
- It's impossible. Then I said that I do not need anything else from Max. The lawyer came, and I signed the paper, refusing any material claims.
It was very insulting. We loved each other, and there was no self-interest in our feelings. Why, after parting, you need to divide property, think about some benefit? No, I do not know how. I did not do that and never will. I just wanted to - say goodbye. But in this request Max refused me. When we were getting divorced, we had to come to the registry office and put our signature. I knew that there would be Max, and through the lawyer asked that after the divorce, he talked with me. The lawyer promised to arrange it, to persuade Max. I was very afraid of this meeting, even went to a psychologist, because I had to keep myself in hand, speak calmly and do not cry. But I was very nervous. And somewhere along the way she lost her passport. Really lost! I do not even know how. I was very worried, I drank lots of sedative pills. When I came to the registry office, I climbed into my purse, but I did not have a passport! Max was very angry. He was sure that I did it on purpose. Then I had to draw up a new passport, it was not a fraud. But Max did not believe. We were all the same dissolved. Although I have signed the law against the law without a passport. I was sure that after that he would talk to me. But Max quickly left, got into the car and drove away. She rushed to the lawyer:
"You promised!" He spread his hands:
- I could not do anything ...
A happy ending
And that's all. I was left alone. There was nowhere to live. My mother lived with her grandfather. Max and I bought her a new apartment closer to our future home. But it was still under repair. I had to think - what to do, how to make money. And I went to Moscow. I have friends in Moscow - Regina Miannik and Dina Korzun. Very close and loved by me people. They supported me. I lived then with Dina, then with Regina. She began to act in film, rehearse something in the theater. Then I was invited to the TV series Mongoose. I'm a very open person in life, and it's strange to me that Max treated me so. As if with a kitten, who was stroked, groomed and cherished, and then took and thrown out ... Like, then go on yourself. It turned out - I can. I very quickly understood this. I started earning money and sending money to my mother. We made repairs in her apartment. And suddenly I felt that I was my own mistress, I do not depend on anyone. And I liked it. Max soon after our divorce married, he had a baby. And I went to work. Although, of course, I had novels. One of them is with a businessman, my peer. Despite his young age, he achieved a lot and, I think, will achieve even more. We had a wonderful relationship. But soon he, like Max, became nervous because I had my own plans, shootings, performances. A person who has power and money, gets used to everything to control, subordinate people to his will. And my friend wanted me to stay at home and wait for him. But I realized that I would never again cancel my plans or my work for anyone. This is my life, I do not want to adapt it to anyone's desires. I did it once and will never do it again. I did a lot of acting. In "Swan Paradise" I met Alena Babenko, we became friends. I had friends - and these were my friends, not Max's friends, who struck me out of my life as soon as we broke up. Max had a lot of influential acquaintances, but no one ever helped me in my career, I did not ask for anything, although these people had huge opportunities. I've always lived like this "Ah! Fut! "It's easy! It seems to me that this is the way to live. I'm sure God will not leave me. Always pulls, gives a chance, strength, I can handle any situation. When Max and I became a couple, I was envious. He really loved me and spoiled me. Showed the world. Did not deny anything. I was always ready to hold my hand. It's true. But there is another truth. For Max, our relationship was important no less, and maybe even more. That love, those strong feelings that he felt for me, gave him inspiration. He wrote a lot. And thanks to these songs again became popular.