First, let's try to figure out what kind of character it is and how to fight it. So, shyness is a feeling of awkwardness, self-doubt, which a person experiences in the presence of other people. Here, for example, do you have that it is unbearably difficult to ask for money on the bus? Or to seek help from the prescriber, so that he helps to sort out a difficult topic? And at the disco, the back sticks to the wall and it's just impossible to step forward and go dancing? If it happens, do not worry, because many people suffer from shyness, which may seem at first glance. And your smart friend can feel the same feelings as you. Only she does not admit this or, as is often the case, she disguises herself for her external humbug and rudeness.
Most often, shy people suffer from insecure people who constantly compare themselves with others. No wonder that they often lose in this comparison, as if mentally, all the time put themselves on a step below. This is especially true of adolescent girls. They reason approximately like this: "Ivanova easily gives algebra, because her father is a mathematician" or "I would be as tall as Petrova, I would also play volleyball". And if all this is heated up by discontent on the part of parents, it is generally quite difficult to learn how to be confident in yourself as a lady. However, not only schoolgirls suffer from insecurity. This feeling does not all pass with age. Girls can complex both in high school, and prestigious work. And even with retirement, many women do not get rid of self-doubt.
By the way, one should not confuse the feeling of insecurity with modesty. As one of the greats said, modesty adorns a person. For example, the Queen of Great Britain Elizabeth II is quite a modest and charming woman. But you can not name it unsure! Of course, we are not queens, but we are also worth something! It is enough to want, and self-confidence will necessarily appear. This feeling can be nurtured in oneself. As they say, it is difficult - it does not mean impossible. You just need to: a) understand that the problem exists, b) want to fix it, c) do not give up, do not give up, when something does not work out, and praise yourself for every success. So, let's try to make a few steps that will help to gain self-confidence.
First step
Stop comparing yourself to others! This is one of the indispensable conditions for any woman to gain confidence. Do not exaggerate your shortcomings, dwell on them. And, on the contrary, think more often of advantages. And you have it, you can not be otherwise. First, take a sheet of paper, divide into two columns and make a list of your personal qualities. In one write everything that you do not like in yourself, and in another that can balance it. For example, "I'm too modest, but I'm not an upstart. I'm not sociable, but I'm not intrusive. " Realizing your dignity, it will be easier for you to find support in them in difficult situations. More often remember mentally about the listed advantages. And treat the list of shortcomings as a problem that you have not yet decided, but you will certainly do it. One of the distinguishing features of overly shy people - they are not the first to get a conversation. So let's take the next step.
Step Two
Step two - anonymous conversation. After all, agree, it is easier to talk when you do not see the interlocutor, although this is at first given with difficulty. You can try to imagine that it's not you who say it, but your self-confident friend or ... Cameron Diaz, for example. How can such a beauty be embarrassed by telephone conversation! Call, for example, a dry cleaner and learn in detail how long they work, how to get to them and how many mink coats they can take at a time. Call somewhere until you feel that you are easily and naturally conducting a conversation, even while in absentia. And when you reach the necessary degree of confidence, it is time to get out of the "underground".
Step Three
The next step is a lively conversation. Perhaps this is the most difficult stage in overcoming shyness. Well, who said it would be easy? Here the main mood. Spread your shoulders, smile, take a deep breath and ... 10 times ask the passers-by, what time is it. Just do not trample on one place - expand the radius of action, move from one street to another. And then you can get used to, and people will think - what a sweet girl, and suffers from early sclerosis. For example, one friend of my girlfriend practiced in stores. I went into the first one and got into a casual conversation with the seller: "Tell me please, how much soy is contained in these sausages? And in those? And what is their shelf life? And the one you will do? "The last question is, of course, boldly, because the seller can get caught without a sense of humor. But it does not matter, the main thing is that you have it. Here you are already halfway to success! And even if someone to you in a rude manner, remember, the main thing is a positive attitude, no matter what.
Step Four
Step Four is a "positive wave". Even for small victories it is necessary to praise yourself, and to fix the result. To do this, every day before going to bed and immediately after awakening, speak to yourself of some positive-affirmative phrase. For example: "I'm a fine fellow. I will succeed. I will definitely learn to smile, communicate and be interesting to people. Everything will be fine for me today. " You can come up with the text yourself. For example, the heroine of one famous film kept saying: "I am the most charming and attractive." The main thing - try to avoid there being no negations (for example, "I will not be silent" is better replaced by "I will speak"). Repeat a couple of times.
It is also useful to do such an exercise. Close your eyes and touch the left wrist with your right hand. Remember when you felt particularly confident when communicating and try to remember this state. Sit like that for a few seconds. Now relax, walk around the room and again take yourself by the wrist. You must feel confident! You can use this technique in particularly exciting situations for yourself - with a new acquaintance or a responsible performance. Still learn to smile necessarily when communicating with people, because a gloomy, frightened look can spoil any conversation. Itself observe the people around you and you will see that the one with whom the smile does not leave the face has more to himself. Now that you have acquired communication skills, it's time to expand the field of action. Take the next step.
Step Five
Be interesting! "It's easy to say," you will think, and you will be right. This step is the most difficult. After all, in fact, it is necessary to form a personality, to stand out from the crowd. But you surely noticed that a person playing guitar or showing tricks is desired in any company. And the circle of communication among these people is much broader. Therefore, without wasting time, run to sign up for a modern dance club or a theater studio. Or maybe you've been collecting toy turtles since five years, and you have a solid collection. Share your passion with friends and, who knows, maybe you will be brought figures from different cities of the world! In general, the main thing - let your life be interesting to you. And then she will be interested in someone else! You will get friends and get rid of many problems that you will after a while seem ridiculous.
Well, I hope we convinced you that shyness is not a life sentence. It's just a character trait with which you can and should work. Be consistent, and you will overcome shyness. After all, a woman, gaining confidence in herself, capable of any feats. She will go into the burning hut, and stop the horse at the gallop ... And learn, and build a career, and find the best guy on earth. If you want to achieve this, start today, immediately, now!