Mother's Heart, or Seven Circles of Hell

"The first child is the last doll" - that's what my mother and grandmother used to say. But this opinion is formed only by those people who did not pass all the torments of hell after the birth of the firstborn. Those who have everything was given easily and simply who did not pass the tests with the illnesses of their crumbs, torment and torment. When you can not practically fall asleep, and when you wake up, you hope that it was just a terrible dream.

At me all happens so: the long-awaited child about which dreamed all - grandmothers, grandfathers, even great-grandmothers, well and, certainly, we with the husband. Son, father's dream, over which "shook", he was groomed and cherished, suddenly on the 14th day of his life he began to make barely audible rattles, almost no one could hear them except me. But who, as if not a mother, knows all the cells on the body of his creation, every sigh and crying, not like and incomparable to anything and anyone in this vast world. He even yawns in a special way, not like everything, very sweet and gentle. I initially took a very serious attitude to the birth of a child, for me he was not a "doll".

We called a pediatrician at the house. A man came, rudely - cattley, in a rumpled greasy dressing-gown. To be honest, having met him on the street, I would have thought that this is a plumber, plaster painter, anyone, but not a children's doctor. He took out a phonendoscope, he listened to my son's lungs, looked around for a rash and .... And that is all. Rather far from everything: he began to resent that I was vainly disturbed him, that I was a strange mother, I'm afraid everything is fine with the child, it just happens after the birth, when the obstetrician poorly pumps the amniotic fluid. Everything will soon go - so he guaranteed us.

Two weeks passed. But, one might even say, a huge BUT, as every day the wheezing became stronger and more distinct. Now they were heard by both husband and our parents. It means that I did not inadvertently score an alarm. We call this super - professional once again (this is me about the doctor). In response, we hear even more outrage and the same "everything will pass."

The next day my child became hard to breathe. Our patience came to an end, my husband took time off from work and we took our son to the hospital. Naturally, we did not go to our local doctor, but immediately "broke" into the office to the head. Do not think, we are not scandalous parents, and we appreciate and respect the work of doctors, most of them are wonderful, self-sacrificing and attentive people. Just on the way to the polyclinic, something happened that we could not even imagine. Somewhere in the middle, my dearest heart in the world, my angel began to gasp, then turned blue all over. I screamed, my husband did not give up the steering wheel, but still got ready to stop and stopped the car. We went out into the street, began to make artificial respiration, turn it upside down (as the obstetrician advised me, if suddenly the child chokes with milk). It was a month in May, but it was still cool, we were afraid to catch a cold. I do not know what helped, but our son was breathing again. That's why, upon arrival at the clinic, we, without undressing, ran right into the office to the head of the pediatric department.

We were met by a pleasant woman of about 45, and just by looking at the child and listening to us, she concluded that hospitalization is urgently needed. It turned out, in part, the doctor who examined us twice at home, was still right, the actual amniotic fluid was not fully pumped out. But otherwise, in everything - there was a gross medical error. As hospital doctors later explained, it is in these waters that any viral infection can settle and rapidly develop.

We were very quickly registered in the emergency room, an emergency. I was prescribed antibiotics, my son was only 1 month old at that time (at this age, these drugs can greatly damage the intestinal microflora). But after we spent the last two hours, it was already a trifle. I calmed down, because there are professionals close to me, the treatment was in full swing. It was only half a day, but it seemed to me that the son was on the mend.

In the evening I come to the next feeding, and he lies again all blue and suffocates, early I, as it turned out, relaxed. In the usual department of nurses very little - did not look, but in time pumped out. And, if feeding was an hour later? Until now, as I recall, a tear rolls down and takes a shiver. In general, the next morning I was informed about the transfer of us to the intensive care unit. I stood up and sat down right there. The first thought was that my blood became worse. I have not seen him all night, I do not know how he is or what is wrong with him. But the doctor reassured, saying that they had been transferred only because in the intensive care unit every child was attached to a health worker and care, respectively, would be at a higher level than in a normal ward.

From that very day, very long and heavy days dragged on. I'm writing about it now, and I'm crying myself. He stayed there alone, without me! Only once a day we were allowed to visit our sun. In the soul settled such emptiness, the sun shines - and I think everything is gray, no taste of food, no taste of life, I then did not feel. At home I go in an embrace with his turtledoves, they smell of happiness, but my happiness is not with me now. I did not even rewaste them to remember the smell of my first-born. If there was no support for my husband and our parents - I do not know, I would have stood it, although I considered myself to be very strong and unshakable before. Probably, any person can be broken, taking from him the most precious thing in life.

In one of the broadcasts, I heard a story about a seriously ill child who, after baptism, went on the mend. The next day, I, my husband and our moms, our greatest support and support in life, agreed with a doctor, brought a priest and ...

Quite forgotten that you need to take the godparents with you. I suggested that we become godfathers with my husband, but it turned out that the church does not allow this. But one of the grandmothers is very suitable for the role of godmother. Honestly, did not imagine: how our grandmothers will agree, because they both idolized the grandson. They are clever, and they decided everything themselves. As a result, my son and I had a common "mother", she gave birth to me, and he was baptized.

Believe it or not, but after that the state of our lapunchik got better and better every day. And after 3 weeks we were discharged. Urrra!

In his first year of life, he often hurted, but all together we overcame and lifted the child to his feet. After 1 year and 8 months, a second angel appeared in our family. We gave birth to a dream to my father - my son, and finally my dream was born - my daughter! After the experience, we reacted to the first 3 months of her life with hypertension. No one else could come to visit us for the first time, so as not to bring an infection. Grandmothers and grandfathers were given white sterile gowns and medical masks. With the second child, everything went smoothly, both literally and figuratively.

Next, everything is like everyone else's, nursery, kindergarten, school ... Because my children have too little age difference, they are very friendly with each other. If someone offends his sister, brother - right here. Such hard days in our lives were no longer repeated, and I very much hope that there will never be. It's scary when children suffer.

From this situation I got a great lesson and concluded: you always need to fight for the health and well-being of your blood. Do not expect that someone will help, act by yourself, knock on closed doors, defend the rights of your children, because you - they do not need anyone, nobody will protect and protect them, better than their parents. This story is very influenced by our father, that is, the father of my children. He is already more worried about me and reinsured. In our modern world it is unlikely to find a father who is more caring and loving than our beloved daddy!

Now the children have outgrown their mum, they will soon outgrow their papules, successfully study at the school, take places at the Olympiads and research conferences, are listed in the register of gifted children in Russia. Adults, smart, independent, but my mother's heart still does not give me rest, I'm "shaking", like over babies. Here we are - Strange Mummy!