Unfortunately, trust does not apply to those qualities that are acquired once and for life. It tends to be changeable, therefore it is necessary to work constantly to establish contact and trust between spouses. Make a mistake, stumble and force yourself not to believe much easier than to build confidence in the family again. Therefore, one should not treat this aspect of the relationship disrespectfully, because love is like a match house, and the trust in it is the lowest match, we remove the match of "trust" - the house of "love" collapses.
How to initially establish a trusting relationship, while not making mistakes, so as not to destroy them? We have the answer to this question.
The reasons for distrust.
Usually, distrust of a person arises from the very beginning of a relationship. Remember how your couple started? Have you believed in every word of your beloved from the very first day? In any case, at least a drop of distrust or doubt at first you had. It has not disappeared and so far, just now, when you have already learned each other, you have more reasons for believing and trusting rather than believing. If for some reason your partner gave you reason to doubt - the confidence of the collapse. Soon a drop will grow into the sea, for that obvious reason or not. All the blame will be our imagination, speculation, guesses, and everything known "but suddenly." If earlier, when the husband was late at work, we perceived it calmly and for granted, then, for example, after we saw that he somehow looked wrong with a beautiful woman, especially if she is his co-worker - everything, "but suddenly " starts working. And we already have dozens of options, in which a beloved husband "a sudden" is engaged in anything, but not work. Hence the emerging conflict.
Jealousy is another reason for distrust. Usually jealousy and love are considered an inseparable phenomenon, but few will disagree that the same notorious jealousy as nothing can destroy such a bright feeling. Jealousy, rather, will be inseparable from a sense of ownership and distrust of the partner.
Also, to the reasons for which mistrust arises in our minds, are subterfuges. Even the most unsaid or unuttered trifle at all, can grow into a scandal and the collapse of relations.
Oddly enough, from the subterfuges, the spouses are more affected, who are believed to live in peace and harmony. Psychologists often note such couples lack of active communication. Usually in such families it is not accepted to complain about problems, criticize each other's actions, independently make a decision or challenge it. Pairs that conflict, communicate much more with each other, while receiving maximum information. After all, conflict is also a kind of communication. Simply, this communication is very emotional and quickly exhausts the spouses, which can even lead to a divorce.
The very fact of mistrust can also lead to conflict, but during a quarrel there is more chance to find out the truth than by picking up words and hiding emotions.
What if the trust is still shaken?
Trust in the family is fragile, and requires a thrifty attitude. But what if you still did not finish? Option two: drop your hands and live as is, looking askance at each other, building a lot of guesses and suspicions in your head, or start from the beginning.
It is difficult to restore a trusting relationship, because now you also have a sludge of memories, which often will be an obstacle to harmony.
Therefore, it is necessary to begin with getting rid of memories. Throw away all the negative that was in your life together, fill it with bright and joyful feelings, as well as hopes and plans for a brighter future. In the period of restoration of trust in the family, it is necessary to be very cautious, and not to provoke serious conflicts. You will not be able to avoid conflict situations, because for our psyche the mistrust itself and suspiciously will cause an easy stressful condition, which will accordingly create nervous tension. And the nerves must find a way out. Well, if you find a joint lesson that will bring pleasure to both of you, and at the same time relax. It can be doing sports, dancing, some kind of creativity, music. The main thing that you were together, and during the lesson you interacted.
Just be interested in business, state of health, experiences of your partner, do not leave him alone with problems. Share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, ask for advice. Usually when a person asks someone for advice, he does it with a trustworthy person whose opinion is authoritative for him. When consulting with a partner, even on everyday issues, you will thereby inspire him with a sense of importance for you, and your trust in him.
More, talk, just about anything, so you can much more open yourself to each other. Joke, invent, but only so that your words or actions do not offend the partner. When communicating more often touch each other. If you need to win the trust of a man, you can also copy his gestures unnoticed, and accidentally touch the left side of the body. Whisk not a visible speck of dust from his left shoulder, whisper a gentle word on the left ear, kiss on the left cheek. This is not magic, and not prejudice, just the left side of men is more susceptible to touching. Let it be your little secret.
If the question of how to build trust in the family is still topical for you, despite all your efforts and actions, then it's time for a psychologist. An experienced psychologist will help you solve this small difficulty until it has developed into a big problem. The main thing is that the desire of partners to stay together, and solve all problems was mutual. Only then is a positive result possible.