Child-bully: advice of psychologists on the solution of the problem

If it turned out that the teacher called home and complained about your child, how should parents behave? To offend the teacher and to suspect that he is trying to avenge the child for behaving badly? Or immediately take the pose of the child's defender? Do parents need to listen to the teacher and immediately conclude that the truth can only be on his part? It is possible that you really need to listen. So, when the teacher calls to inform about your child's next tricks at school, do not hurry and interrupt the conversation by turning off the phone.


As the psychologists recommend to parents of a naughty child, it is worth paying attention to certain signs of aggression in your child's behavior, for example: an uncontrolled outburst of anger and anger, a disciplinary problem, tolerance and total disregard for someone else's opinion, rudeness and rudeness, rigidity, cruelty towards animals and weak helpless creatures, craving for vandalism - all this is not a complete list of what aggressive behavior can be expressed in.

If it happens that the child threatens the teacher, then you should pay very serious attention to the behavior of your child, which can lead even to the fact that he will be expelled from school. For example, in America, 1.3 million teachers became victims of hooligan behavior of students. This is a very serious and dangerous problem that requires a decision at the state level. VKanade, according to unapproved data, more than 40% of the teaching staff of the whole country became victims of student aggression. Not the best way things are in other countries, for example, in Finland bullying and intimidation by pupils and hooligans, as well as their parents, has already undergone every fourth teacher and director of the school. Calculations in the UK showed a result of about 61%, that is, such a percentage of teachers had to listen to insults and threats against themselves, 34% were subjected to physical aggression. Well, you will agree that parents can not be dismissed when they hear that their child is showing aggression, or even if they have the makings for it.

Child bullying: how to solve the problem

Try to monitor the wishes of the child regarding the views of television programs and sites in which elements of cruelty are seen, this also applies to computer games.

There is a string of direct evidence that regularly coming in contact with cruelty, ie watching video or computer games, a person loses sensitivity to the suffering of others. If a child plays for a long time in different shooters, there may be such deviations as:

  1. Increased propensity to sadism
  2. Increased conflict, open confrontation with classmates and adults
  3. The emergence of desire in a real test of their strengths on the weak
  4. Impairment of academic performance
  5. The manifestation of the propensity to aggression, which is adopted from computer games, in which the cruelty facts are repeatedly repeated. The child begins to get used to all sorts of sadistic scenes, because without repeating, these acts of violence are effectively imprinted in his thought schemes.

Characteristic of such games gives an incentive to stimulate aggression, as the female child becomes a participant in all events of the virtual world. It can not be said about television programs and video films, where he appears as a passive spectator and does not have the opportunity to influence the course of events. And the fact that the player's task includes a mandatory victory, on the way to which one needs to commit a lot of cruelty to the next step (level), also makes it incendiary, ready to give everything for the sake of victory.

Improvement of methods of upbringing

It often happens that bullies themselves are in the role of victims of aggression and violence, so their aggression is the only way to assert themselves. And in many cases the main source of aggression is the family. Maybe you or someone from your family is very strict about the child? Or, perhaps, you constantly show your discontent and criticize his actions and actions? Do you punish him physically? Or maybe the child is not a victim, but a witness to the violence? How often do you have scandals or loud scoffs in your house? Do you have any abuse in your home against someone? It often happens that we are already getting used to the abnormal state of things and we stop noticing them. And it is possible that correction of behavior should begin with the correction of the method of child upbringing.

Tightened control

How much control is exercised on your child? Do you know what he does during the free time? Or maybe he is alone with the computer for a long time? Usually, if the children are unattended by their parents, then they get into unpleasant situations in unpleasant situations from three to six o'clock in the evening, coming in these hours from school and being in a house without parents. Try to limit the free hours of the child, loading things around the house or decorating it with a circle. Try to devote more time to it.

It is necessary to cooperate with the school, but not to fight sney

Try to visit school and meet with teachers and the school principal. Understand that aggression in the behavior of your child can become a habit, and even then the horror of the consequences is terrible. All this is very important, because, having united with the school, it will not leave any loopholes for harmful pursuits to the child.

Parents, strive to prepare your child for a complex, full test of the life of an adult person, to responsibility that will be out of the ordinary in life. If you constantly protect him, always act as a defender, without even knowing whether he is right or wrong, he will understand his permissiveness, and this may lead to irreversible processes in the future. Think about it.