After living a few years, a strong family understands that the time has come for a second child. But they also understand that for the first-born this will be a great life test. Children react to the message of parents in different ways. Some ask for a pet instead of a sister or brother, and others think that they just want to replace, because he is a naughty child. You told him that yourself. Therefore, the parent should carefully prepare for the birth of the second child, not forgetting about the feelings of his first-born. After all, this is his first experience in life. Try to at least not admit the most common mistakes.
Optimum age difference
This question will probably never abate. Always on this occasion there will be disputes and disagreements. Some speak in favor of a lesser difference in the age of children, saying that children will have more common interests. Others advocate for the achievement of school age as a child; it will be quite independent. For a small baby will stay longer.
Psychologists adhere to the optimal difference in the age of 5 years. About three years of age a child needs a friend and like-minded person. Many children ask their parents for a brother or sister. And by the age of four the child is already accustomed to be independent, which will allow mother to spend more time with the newborn.
The smaller age range of children will not allow you to give each kid enough time and attention. But if the age difference is large, the first child will be indifferent to the appearance of a younger relative. Play, spend a lot of time with the baby of his own free will he will not.
How to report on the addition of a family
So, you are waiting for a meeting with the second child in the family. Start thinking about how best to say about his imminent appearance to the first child. And you just need to say confidently and very calmly. Do not ask him if he wants a sister or a brother. After all, he can give you a negative answer, which does not suit you at all.
After all, you already feel guilty for it already. Do not speak on this subject with apologetic tone or in a deliberately cheerful voice, do not assure that everything will be fine for you. So the child can be alerted! Tell the news sincerely. Let the kid himself feel the correctness of the decision you made.
Do not tell the older child that he will have a companion to communicate at home, for general games. Yes, it will, but not immediately. And then the first-born will be disappointed. Just tell me about the future brother or sister in more detail. Together, review his photos or video in infancy. After all, he too, more recently, could not only walk, but also sit or talk.
Let him begin to get used to and study the functions of the older child in the family. Take him to the store for shopping for the baby, listen to advice on choosing children's toys. In advance, consider where the baby cot will be. If you want to move a child to another room, then confidently justify this move by improving the conditions and creating extra comfort for the eldest.
Never talk about pregnancy problems if it can be heard by a child. This will provoke jealousy of an unborn baby and increase your firstborn's anxiety.
Let's get acquainted! And now an exciting event has come to pass. Mom and the little one came home. Relatives carry presents. But they should be donated not only to mother and newborn, but also to his elder brother or sister. And do not be touched, admiring, long crumb in the presence of the elder. He does not understand your feelings yet.
Be sure to find time during the day to communicate with the first child. Listen to all his stories about life without you, tell me how much you miss and you really love him. And then introduce little relatives. Show the little one, let him take it by the handle, talk to him, smile. But if he refuses to communicate, then do not insist. He needs time, then he wants to do it himself. But when manifesting the expressed jealousy of the baby, think about the lack of attention to him from your side. In a day at least an hour, allocate a little jealous for communication. Let your attention be directed only to him.
We are already two
The first two or three weeks of the newborn's stay in the house will be very difficult. The life of all members of the family will change dramatically. Mom will spend more time with the little one, the older child will hear a part in response to requests: wait, not up to you! The child will cry, get annoyed at the slightest occasion, show even aggressiveness to a small innocent being, because it takes away mom.
Remain a mom, to which your child is used. Walk with it, play, read books. Do not punish a child, do not compare it to a newborn. Say that the baby will grow up very quickly and will walk with you. And the best friend to a younger brother or sister can only be an older brother or sister.