Disinterested love is always work and care. And if you ask the question "what is love?", You can hear different answers: "the need for another person," "spiritual comfort," "meaning of life," and even - "habit." Hence, each person puts his experience and his ideas into this concept.
Most people see in love the main meaning of life and at the same time are helpless in front of it. "Love is looking for everything, but finding it, very few people know what to do with it," said one intelligent man. Indeed, how to dispose of such wealth? Find the answer to this question is very important. Because love, as you know, a lady capricious - can fly away.
Love is the desire to live with a concrete person all the days, hours and even minutes released by fate. But one desire is not enough. Rumor says: to love is first of all to give. Are we ready for this? Not all. To give is to lose something, to sacrifice something. And if we are ready for this, then, as a rule, with a reservation: the process must be mutual. That is, giving, we want to receive something in return. And here we are trapped by a trap. If the desire to give necessarily involves expecting to receive anything in return, then to give without receiving anything is to be deceived. Nobody wants to be deceived. And, nevertheless, this formula is correct, just need to shift the emphasis. To give is to give, to be generous. And generosity does not impoverish a person. On the contrary, it makes it emotionally richer, it allows you to acutely feel the joy of life. This is what love is all about.
We call a man a miser when we see how zealously he protects his wealth from any loss whatsoever. Such a position does not make him happy. And from a psychological point of view, we will consider him a beggar, however great his condition may be. So it turns out that only the one who is able to give is rich.
But what can you give to your loved one? All! Joy and sorrow, their observations, discoveries, thoughts, knowledge. In other words, your life in all its manifestations. Happiness, if your favorite refers to love the same way. Then you will generously enrich each other. Not then, to get something in return, but only to feel the joy of mutual understanding. When two give, something divine is born, called "love." If this did not happen, then, most likely, the two understood the feeling of love in different ways. Apparently, someone was still focused on the installation "giving, it is necessary to get something in return." Love is always work and care. Is it possible to believe that someone loves flowers if he forgets to water them? But there is another extreme: caring for another person can go into suppressing his personality, in relation to it as a property. To prevent this helps another component of love - respect.
To respect is to accept another person as he is. To understand its individuality and characteristics, to be interested in that it develops as a unique personality. Respect excludes the use of one person by another for any purpose, even the most noble. And we can respect another person on the condition that we are independent, we can go through life without support and therefore do not need to use someone for our own purposes. The knowledge of human nature helps to rise above selfish concern for oneself and see another person from the position of his own interests. It is this knowledge we sometimes do not have enough in the relationship with the man or woman of our dreams.
Loving, we strive to learn the secret of the soul of a loved one, although we understand the illusory nature of our efforts. In order to get closer to this secret, the knowledge gained at school and even at the institute is too small. This requires a deep connection with the soul of another person. And only in the unity of souls, called love, can we satisfy our desire to dissolve in this person, as in ourselves.
So, the effective power of love is built on the ability to give, on care, on respect and knowledge. This is an inseparable complex, which mature people can follow. Those who abandoned narcissistic illusions about their own omniscience and omnipotence. To whom is inherent the dignity generated by inner strength. Such power is built on the ability to competently display their feelings, on the ability to see the needs of another person and to hear his unspoken requests. And also on the struggle with inner laziness, which manifests itself in a passive attitude towards oneself and indifference to others. All these gradually but steadily developed abilities are the mastery of the art of love.