New time, new rhythms
Family values - this is what is important, valuable (tautology, but otherwise no way!), Respected by all family members, the general field of their interests. For the most part, family values are approximately the same: love, parenthood, loyalty, trust, connection with ancestors, a house ... In short, everything without which the family and family is difficult to call. Moreover - the family itself, as a collective element of these factors, is also a value! But the mentioned moments are not a constant, because society develops, each stage has its own type of relationship between close people and what is valued in these relations. Example: when manual labor prevailed prior to the twentieth century, large families were important, or - the residence of several related families together - somebody had to cultivate the land, conduct collective farming. With the advent of the twentieth century, everything changed: from the number of family members, its prosperity does not depend, in the foreground - their "quality": education, social status. The change of family priorities is obvious: many children and several generations or twigs of genus on common square meters are almost gone, their place was taken by new ones: one or two children in the family and the need to worm their family nest. Some of these changes are for the better, others are not. Changes are also taking place these days. Moreover, given the modern rhythm of life - even more intense. What values come to replace the old and how to preserve the best of them?
freedom of choice
It has become a necessary value, which every household member gives an opportunity to self-express, understanding that his personality is not violated. First of all it concerns wives and children. The reason is that today ladies - often earn as much, if not more, husbands, which gives them this relative freedom (feminism also contributed to it). As for children, they think, create and see things in a completely different way than their parents, often - much more consciously. Seeing that children develop beyond the years, the elders weaken their threads of influence. The new value, of course, is good, but one must understand that freedom must be attached to responsibility - for one's actions. And the father should form it from the age of six - both for girls and boys. At this age the child goes to school and leaves the zone of unlimited influence of the mother, but why exactly dad? Women are softer, they feel more sorry for their children, and therefore they forgive much. The father knows the price of the given word, takes responsibility for it, and can show it to the child, that is, to teach it in a personal example. Father will receive the answer to the question "Why did you do this?", And my mother will regret it. If you hear, at least some explanation from the child at age 6, you will hear in 16.
Personal Area
This is the need of each family member in an intimate space for self-healing. In our time of crisis and chronic fatigue, people began to strive for seclusion and peace. Young families - especially, but often they are forced to live with their parents. The reluctance of new family members to live with them, according to the realities, is fully justified. But this value destroyed the second - strong family ties. Celebrating anniversaries at the same table with relatives of all ages from all districts is a rarity, which undermines the mighty family roots. Often children do not know the names of their deceased grandmothers, nephews are aunt. The only way out is to study and draw your family tree. Know your ancestors is the norm. In addition, it is very useful in psychotherapy, because when studying the "roots" immediately seen the values of several generations: how they acted in different situations of grandparents, how many children they had, whether there was a betrayal in the family. The main thing is never to judge: if they were not, we would not be either. But about the fact whether to trust the upbringing of children to grandmothers, - the opinions of psychologists diverge. On the one hand, it is a certain guarantee that the child will know his kind better, be aware of the interchange of generations, he will have respect for family traditions. But, on the other hand, grandmothers - a little outdated concepts and the younger generation they do not need. In addition, the energy of the elderly has a negative effect on young blood - the Slavs were sure of that. Therefore, for the holidays and days off at the grandmother - green light, for permanent education - red.
Family club
This is a relatively recent form of relationships in the family (mainly in the absence of children), in which a large, mutual love does not play the first violin: it's enough just for comfort, consent, respect. This set is the basis. Such pairs are more and more: partners are well, comfortably together and while nothing will disturb their harmony, the union will exist. Personal qualities of him and her, ability to withstand circumstances that are not always loyal to the nervous system, are very important here. A balanced approach to any situation and the absence of high-profile scandals and hysterics are the hallmark of such a family. Divorce and maiden name in this case is not a failure or failure, but simply the cancellation of a kind of contract. While there are no children, there is nothing wrong with innovation, because everyone gets what they want. But a child can break a fragile idyll (to assure that now someone is right for someone else), and then one incomplete family will be more. The way out is after the birth of the heir and not further violate the terms of the "contract". By the way, feelings tend to cool down over time, and the constant presence of respect and understanding, even without love passions, is the cornerstone in the foundation of familyhood.