Many men believe such a relationship is a myth - because almost all women experience sexual cravings of varying strength. But does this mean that there really is no friendship between a man and a woman? Or maybe she just differs from same-sex friendship?
There is such a science - the psychology of relations. She considers various forms of human relations, including the most interesting for us - sexual.
Sexual refers to any relationship between a man and a woman, in which the sex of the relationship partner matters.
That is, even business relationships can be sexual if the perception of a person as an employee or a boss is mixed with his perception as a bearer of his sex, i. men or women. In fact, this is the most common form of business relationship between a man and a woman. In this case, partners in this form of sexual relations are unlikely to sleep or seriously going to sleep with each other.
From the point of view of this science, friendship between a man and a woman is one of the youngest forms of sexual relations. Its history is a topic for a separate article, we will consider its essence.
First, let's remember what this same-sex friendship is.
• Friends communicate with each other because they have common interests.
They are interested in the same thing or they are interested in doing something together: collecting stamps, discussing serials, fighting with wooden swords, etc.
• Friends trust each other.
They are not afraid to show themselves to each other "in the wrong suit", because they know that one will not start humiliating another. They do not write to themselves in their notebooks or memory bought buns or beer.
• Friends do not consider one another "obligated".
They do not arrange scenes, if one organizes a party or barbecue, and another says that he can not or does not want to go to it. Or if one told the other that he can not help in anything. Can not and do not want to - the right that one friend recognizes after another.
• Friends do not envy each other.
The success of one does not become the misfortune of another. Moreover, usually friends sincerely rejoice at the successes of each other.
• Friends feel connected.
They can not explain the nature of this connection, but this is what our ancestors called the word "ties". This relationship is related to both family and conjugal ties, but it is still different from them.
• Friends have a separate life.
Lovers plan their lives with an eye for each other and in the calculation for "compatibility." Friends live by themselves. This does not mean that they can not agree on something.
• Friends communicate regularly.
Only constant communication supports their communication. Otherwise it, alas, disappears.
This is a classical, same-sex friendship. The same is true for friendship between a man and a woman, with one additional condition: one or both of them want another, but for some reason they are not going to have sex. Something like Platonic love ...
How does it arise?
The writer S. Chekmayev in the book "Vesukha" notes that when a man and a woman know for sure that nothing will be between them, their relationship becomes especially trusting.
That is, inter-sex friendship, as a form of sexual relations, arises in the event that a man wanted a woman, realized that he "does not shine," but was so interested in her as a person that he decided to enjoy ordinary communication with her. Gradually, communication in this communication grows stronger, and friendship with all its attributes arises, including "a friend will always help."
Why is it that the man is the active side?
The fact is that most women are predisposed to taking pleasure in all forms of communication, and therefore the pleasure of communicating with a man as a person for them is common. Men are less inclined to complex forms of social, including sexual relations; very few people who can get pleasure from them. Since to create a full-fledged relationship requires the participation of both parties, the woman must passively wait, whether there is a man with the quality described above.
The main thing is for the parties to understand that to have an attraction for each other does not mean to be incapable of friendship. It is nothing more than a natural reaction of the organism, a component that distinguishes inter-sex friendship from the same-sex.
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