Are you sure this man is really yours? Maybe it's worth looking for a more worthy challenger or trying to change yourself? Psychologist Valentina Yaroslavtseva says that girls often ask her how to behave in a similar situation.
For example, one of her clients, Marina, shares that she likes a man ten years older than her. She's twenty-five, and he's thirty-five. The department in which he works is located not far from the one in which Marina works. They met by chance, Marinin beloved himself took the initiative. He is divorced. It shows exclusively sexual interest to Marina. They often meet, without agreement - at parties, general events. After parties often go to his home. And next morning ... the carriage turns into a pumpkin. Marina continues to work in the neighboring department. And he, as if nothing had happened, throws a dry one: "hello", and goes about his business. Marina is offended that she is interesting to her lover exclusively in a sexual sense, she wants to see their tenderness, romance, and ... even a hint of a serious relationship. But she does not know how to do this.
This situation is rather complicated. Proceeding from the fact that the guy after the meeting does not go to the contact. And this relationship script was played several times already, Marina is interesting to him only in the sense of sexual relations. With her, the guy does not want a serious relationship. Of course, even in this situation there is a chance, albeit very small, that the guys (sooner or later) will start quite serious relationships. Try to do this:
- Realize what will happen if you stop seeing this guy. The world does not turn, right. By and large, if you do break such relations altogether, you will not lose anything. By the way, the happy end of this tale, too, may not be. Be ready to accept any outcome of this situation, whatever it is. This attitude will help to act sensibly, thinking through and analyzing not only your every step, but also the reactions of your lover.
- Think about how you could approach the object of your passion. He also likes jazz and science fiction. Or collect coins? Or bred cacti. Try to find a point of intersection in which you had common interests. Try to prove yourself on the bright side, surprise him - demonstrate, for example, that you are preparing a delicious dish from his favorite Japanese cuisine (if he likes to eat). Or give a cross-stitched work of his beloved Kandinsky ...
- Try to meet him "accidentally," flirt, but without any clear signs that you are ready to go after him now and at least to the end of the world.
- Organize any "accidental" but urgent and urgent matter to him. For example, complain to the naughty computer system unit, which now and then hangs. That the situation of your communication could move from the plane "party-martini bed" to the domestic plane, where you can prove yourself not only as a passionate lover, but also as a competent employee or a pleasant conversationalist ...
- Precisely do not throw at the chest beloved with offers of love, eternal fidelity and three children - it can scare him. Moreover, if he has a negative experience of family relations that ended in divorce.
- If the situation does not change to the desired side, try soberly to assess whether you need this man, whether this guy needs a serious relationship now. And if you usually meet guys who are looking for easy relationships, think about whether it's time for you to grow up and revise your attitude to yourself and to life?