It is impossible to prepare for death in advance, and even when a person was elderly or was ill for a long time, the news of his death would be a real blow to his loved ones. After this sad news, it is accepted to express condolences to relatives, friends, colleagues and everyone who knew the deceased. How to do it - the personal choice of everyone. Some prefer to sympathize orally, others - to write a letter, the third - to share the pain in verse, the fourth condoles with deeds.
How to express condolences in prose?
In simple and understandable words it is appropriate to express your grief both on the phone, and in person, and in a letter or even a text message. The main thing is to follow the general rules and do it on time, because it is at the moment when the deceased's close ones are the most painful, empathy will be most appropriate. Try to say about the deceased:
- sincerely and wholeheartedly;
- informally, not learned;
- think about this person, remember him, and then the words will be really personal;
- remember the light moments associated with it, try to make the grieving smile in the memory of the untimely dead.
Your sincerity will be expressed by the offer of feasible assistance (with the organization of funerals, registration of documents, purchase of ritual supplies). Perhaps mourners will refuse or ignore your proposal, and this is no reason for resentment, because for each person the pain manifests itself in its own way. Embrace, touch and sincere tears will also say that you are not indifferent to the deceased and his relatives. Sometimes such displays of feelings help to throw out heavy emotions, and to relatives of the deceased it becomes easier. And yet, speech can describe what does not turn out to be gestures. Orally or in writing - do not make words of sympathy into a long speech. Two or three sentences are enough to express sympathy. For example:
- He really meant a lot to you and to me. I share your sorrow, and I will not forget who he was for me. I will pray for him.
- She gave us so much warmth and love, taught so much ... I mourn with you, and if I can help, just say so.
- I definitely will not forget, as he said to me: "...".
- I did not know him, but you talked about him so often that it seems to me that I knew him. I'm sorry. Hold on! I'm with you.
- My condolences. If I can do something for you, then I will be very happy.
Of course, these examples are not templates for bringing sympathy for death, but, perhaps, they will help you find the right words from the heart.
How do I condole the death of my mother and father?
Family relationships are different, and yet almost always parents are the most native people. Losing them is very difficult, and grief can be limitless. That is why it is so important to express sympathy to share heavy feelings, to take a part of this unbearable burden on yourself. Try to refrain from jam-packed, jaded words like "you have to hold on", "I know how hard it is for you," "time heals," "sometimes death is a relief." If this is true, all these words already appeared in the mind of the mourner, and you will create the impression of indifference, as if they simply performed their duty routinely. Tell the person that his parents were wonderful people. Even if you did not know them, you must have heard of them. Especially since you are talking to the one they brought up. Ask a friend about the brightest moments from childhood, associated with mom and dad - memories help a little distracted, endure the pain of loss.
What words express condolences?
Try to avoid the tendency of the fashion to find condolences in verse or send a line of sympathy in SMS. If you are writing a short message, then the phone is at your fingertips, then why not call? Trying to make condolence conditional can create an unpleasant sludge, as if you are sarcastic or are exercising in speech when simple human heat is needed. It is not necessary to apply also high-flown expressions - they too will be pushed away more likely. Tell me about your sympathy in person or by phone, and if you can not - write a letter on paper or e-mail. So you do not insult the moment, but, perhaps, help to alleviate the load of sorrow.