Do you think it's easy to change? Decided to lose weight - and now in a month or two you are in perfect shape? It was not there! In fact, we tend to overestimate our resilience and downplay the role of circumstances that prevent us from achieving the goal.
That is why people often give up halfway and are disappointed in their own willpower. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to take in advance the fact that it will not be easy, make a list of possible obstacles and come up with ways to overcome them. How to do it, says consultant for personal development Marshall Goldsmith in his book "Triggers" (publishing house MIF).
Get rid of automatism
Triggers are all incentives that can change our behavior. Fatigue, depression and a sense of apathy, forcing us to give up training, are examples of internal triggers. Like a sudden burst of enthusiasm, after which we begin to play sports. External triggers affect us no less, although we do not always realize this. One look, thrown at an appetizing cake, can force a person to abandon the diet. A meeting with a friend who recently started going to the gym, can inspire new sports feats. So, our life is filled with very different signals. And what should I do about it? As you have already noticed, some triggers bring us benefits, while others - distract from the goal. Your task is to surround yourself first and learn how to resist the second. And now the good news is that even unproductive incentives can turn into beneficial ones. Usually we react to triggers automatically: without thinking we reach for a box of sweets; instead of evening training we watch with the household an exciting talk show; open e-mail even before breakfast and immediately plunge into the work, although we planned to do a morning run. The first important step towards the goal is to get rid of automatism. Try to notice the signals that knock you off the right course. Such awareness will help you move to the next stage, where you change your habits. About this later, but first consider what other types of triggers you can meet.
Learn your triggers and types of signals
We have already figured out that triggers are productive and unproductive (this is perhaps the most important thing), as well as internal and external. Here's how else you can characterize the different types of incentives:
- Dampening and inspiring. Some triggers induce us to action: eat candy, fill the refrigerator with useful products, get up off the couch and go to workout. Others - they force you to slow down: pull your hand away from sweets, pass by your favorite cafe, refuse to run and stay at home.
- Unconscious and aware. The impact of some triggers we notice. For example, it is obvious that the aroma of my mother's cooking, coming from the kitchen, causes a desire to at least temporarily forget about the diet. However, there are signals that affect us surreptitiously. In particular, they include the weather. As experiments have shown, our mood very much depends on it, but very few people realize it.
- Straight and going in a roundabout way. You come to visit, you see a generously covered table, and your hands themselves are drawn to harmful, but tasty food. This is an example of a direct trigger. But this may be an indirect signal: on the way to work, you accidentally saw a person with excess weight, then think about your lifestyle, and in the evening bought a subscription to the fitness center.
- Unexpected and predictable. We can only hear signals one verst. We know what kind of reaction they will cause, so that we can prepare for the meeting with them in advance. And other triggers take us by surprise. That's why you should learn to notice them and adjust your behavior.
Try to get out of the habit loop
Our brain automatically chooses the easiest way and does not try to resist when meeting with another trigger. But if you learn to pay attention to different signals and connect the will power in time, then, if desired, easily change the habitual pattern of behavior. All our habits are arranged identically. They consist of three stages: trigger - reaction - reward. For example, for people with excess weight, often any trigger, stress, feeling of loneliness becomes a trigger; reaction - a trip to the nearest diner; and the reward is a temporary release of tension. In this case, you can replace the middle element with something else. You just need to choose a different behavior model that will help to calm down in stressful conditions: run through the park, play with a cat or dance to your favorite music. There is another option. Try to avoid unproductive signals: choose a path from work so that you do not meet fast food cafe; bypass the pastry shops and so on. Of course, this will not happen with all the triggers, but only with those that we can predict.
Find your motivation
Now you know how to deal with unproductive triggers, but you can do something else. Surround yourself with useful signals that will motivate you to work on yourself. Did you notice that communication with one of your friends inspires you to play sports? Meet with this person more often. Do you often miss workouts in the fitness center? Get a subscription, then you will want to make an effort to pay off. Do you dream of getting into your favorite dress? Surely you still have photos from those times when your figure still allowed to wear it. Hang them in the most prominent place. If your goal is to lose weight, then every day, ask yourself: "Did I do everything today to go to the right diet?", "Did I do everything today to get to the gym?", "Did I do today everything possible to become slimmer? "Answer these questions in writing. Such records themselves can become a productive trigger, which will push you to change.
Even more about external and internal signals that affect your behavior, you can learn from the book "Triggers"