"I understand how terrible / sad / hard it is for you." It is this phrase that should replace the sacramental "do not cry". A strict order usually causes only a new wave of sobbing or whims - the kid is even more upset: you do not really care about his experiences. Having expressed sympathy, you establish an emotional contact - so you let know what you hear and are ready to listen to.
"Tell me why you are crying." This phrase is an alternative to the standard switching of attention. An attempt to distract a child with a toy, active conversation or strained jokes is not always a good idea: such a crude manipulation can aggravate the hysteria. Use a softer and delicate option - ask the baby to sound you something that upset him. So he will have the opportunity to express his emotions without crying.
"Do you want me to hug you?" Do not rush to kiss and squeeze a croaked child, trying to comfort him: this is not always effective. In addition, embraces can cause irritation or aggression - the child will start to break away and push you away. Instead, ask if your caress is needed now: this will not only allow the baby to keep his personal boundaries, but will also provide an opportunity to calm down on his own.
"Let's figure out how to deal with this." Say this phrase, pause. Then start asking guiding questions and do not rush the child with the answers. Gradually, he will be able to curb emotions and begin to think about ways to overcome the problem. Remember: it is not necessary to solve everything on your own - give the child the opportunity to comprehend, analyze and draw conclusions.