If you successfully make a career, and you are regularly praised by the authorities, I do not envy you. We do not like lucky people. And even if you are also a workaholic, you still will not love. Especially not easy is a rapidly gaining newcomers. "Old-timers" for your increased activity will always react negatively. You will also understand them - they worked all their life on a certain scheme, considering it to be the only one and the right one. And here you are with your youthful maximalism, dreams to change everything for the better and with a bunch of new ideas. The first thing you have to face is black envy. Hidden and direct, but always disastrous. What to do? How to deal with the envy of colleagues and their own? That's about this and talk.
Bernard Shaw has the words: "The abundance of envious persons is frightening, the absence is alarming." As soon as you have ill-wishers and envious persons, know: you go in the right direction. Envious people are an indicator of success. The more success - the more will be envious. Even if a person who achieves success simply wants to work and did not even think of "burning his tails" to anyone, his colleagues will still compare him with themselves. In any collective there are unspoken rules, and as soon as someone becomes more successful than the others, he, in fact, violates these rules. And as a response receives a quiet resistance of the whole group. You will not be drowned in the open. If you ask your colleagues to "cover" you and leave early from work, be sure: you will be loudly "looking" for the boss. If you make a mistake, the error will be inflated to impossibility. And oblique glances, a whisper behind your back, "studs" and a diligent intention not to notice you - is also not very pleasant. Getting rid of envious people is easy. For this, you do not need to do anything. Literally. Stop "provoking" the boss for praise. Tap on the spot. Do not show initiative. Become a gray mouse. In less than a month, the sincere love of your colleagues is assured to you. Are you satisfied with this option? I think no. Therefore, you need to learn how to be successful with the least loss for your nerves.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ENJOY YOU?
• Do not boast and do not advertise your achievements. Even if you are a favorite of the boss and you have three times increased your salary (while all employees have remained the same), be silent and do not show anyone that you are anything different from the others. Let the staff on you get angry when you are promoted and transferred to another department, but while you are in the team - try to be a part of it.
• Do not notice, if possible, "hairpin" in your address - they are specifically made to dislodge you from the rut. If you let the situation go by yourself, you will worry and get upset about someone's fault-finding - you will lose.
• Do not be a "dark horse" for the team. Closed do not like us. Remember Gorbachev, who openly showed the people only his wife, and compare him with Yeltsin, who won popular love by dancing a "polka-butterfly" with a pop star. But do not throw out all the secrets of the Madrid court - it's superfluous. Score a husband, children, mother-in-law ... This is enough to create the illusion of openness.
• Do not oppose yourself even in that it does not concern work. If among the employees there are old maidens, it's hardly worth telling that you have three novels at the same time. Add some negative on the personal front, and envious people will not touch you.
• "Be easy with yourself." If you do this constantly, then when you are promoted, no one will think of envying you, on the contrary, they will say: "Well, at least something is good for her."
• Know that regret is always easier than genuinely rejoicing for another. Use this. But here the main thing is not to overdo it - if you tell that you are fired, but in fact you will be given an official car, you may be suspected of hypocrisy. By the way, if you notice that before the promotion you begin to "cry" not to employees, but people who are not related to your work, it is worth thinking about. There are people for whom winning is nothing compared to the possibility of losing, they are not focused on luck, but on avoiding failures. The surrounding can perceive this as hypocrisy and fear of envy. In fact, a person does not even think about the fact that someone will envy him, he just copes with his own anxiety. Most likely, such a person is very unsuccessful in another sphere of his life, and therefore he attaches great importance to the work cases.
• If the relationship with one of the colleagues has become very clear, it is best to talk frankly with him face to face. Ask the employee - that it irritates you so much. If properly conducted, this dialogue can be very productive. In the end, maybe you are really doing something that you should not do - for example, boast of your kinship with your superiors?
• As if by chance, tell a colleague that you respect his authority and experience. Ask for advice, be interested in your opinion about your work, ask for help. Most likely, the envious person will start to rush about - his plans are unlikely to have a good relationship with you.
• It is necessary to try to establish with each employee such relations, that career and work will recede into the background. With one you will discuss the dog show, if you are both dog breeders, the other one to your coworker will say: "Here we are forced to plow like horses, because we have lazy husbands (alcoholics, etc.)." Become as miserable as she is. Guided by the principle: "We are the same blood."
• Love the traditions of the collective. If at four o'clock your employees drink tea, then, even if you are on a diet, eat a piece of the cake baked by the employee.
And the most important advice:
• Do not "slow down" in any way, so as not to provoke ill-wishers once again. You will only make yourself worse. As long as there is enthusiasm and energy - just go ahead! As they say, the dog barks, and the caravan goes.
HOW TO FIGHT AGAINST COLLEAGUES?
It is possible that you do not need all these tips for the simple reason that ... you are jealous, not you. And you come up with a lot of reasons why you do not like your colleague, but in fact you are just afraid of him as a competitor. If we notice good feelings in ourselves easily, then negative, as a rule, we deny. To recognize that you envy someone is to admit that you are afraid that this person will leave you behind. You need to do some work to understand that you are jealous, because envy is often not realized. If a person acknowledges that he is jealous, this is a huge step towards getting rid of this envy. Therefore, consider:
• Antipathy towards a successful colleague is a clear sign of unprofessionalism. Most often, we downplay the dignity of other people and consider their successes undeserved. Look closely, what does your colleague do for such a successful promotion? Take over the experience.
• Envy is the worst enemy of any careerist. One has only to fixate on who and how the bosses have allocated, and by the end of the work you will feel most miserable and deprived. And you can hardly remember that last year the same boss gave you a loan to buy an apartment? Run away from these thoughts if your own balance is dear to you and if you want to achieve something in life.
• Envy can be creative if you do not act on the principle: "To catch up ahead of the fleeing and to fall to the ground." Lead the slogan of Soviet times: "To catch up and overtake".