In our dreams we imagine family life as something special, we hope that this will be a real turning point, after which, there will come a time of complete happiness and joy. Forgetting that in life there are also difficulties, which we will inevitably encounter sooner or later.
But the real life is more prosaic, and has both white and black stripes. This is especially evident in the first year of a young couple's life, when their family is just starting to establish their own rules and regulations.
People who grew up with different upbringings, family ways, who saw different behavior of their parents, and sometimes living under different financial conditions - at first it is difficult to choose that one path through which to continue building their family. There are several tips on how to establish a life for a young family, which should, if not execute verbatim, then at least take into account.
Parents.
Parents are the closest and dearest to us people who want for us only the best. But it also happens that our choice of a partner for the whole life that has become, well, does not fit, under that bright image, which they drew for many years in their imagination. Therefore, immediately it is necessary to solve this question, and explain what your choice is, and you live. Also very often, parents from the height of their personal life experience try to fill in the newlyweds with advice on how to conduct life, dealing with each other and managing finances. Of course, among all this there is a benefit, but as practice shows, every mom begins to "pull a blanket" on her child. Hence, there is "not a man's job", "a wife without a wife" and much more.
Therefore, if it is possible immediately after the wedding to start living separately from parents - do it. Try not to endure your quarrels and problems without special need for the parents' judgment, solve them only between themselves.
If you still have to live together with one of your parents - do not tolerate conflicts beyond the limits of your room, whatever happens, do not break on your parents, treat them with respect. If you get a hail of advice from the first day - just ask to give you the opportunity to do it all yourself. If the request has not helped, it remains to listen, listen or not - this is at your discretion.
Bytovuha.
There is an opinion that everyday problems in a young family, often cause a collapse of feelings. There is a deal of truth in it. But defeat is tolerated only by those who do not know how to cope with these problems, or rather does not want to. Household duties were, are and will be, and they do not go anywhere. Only here from how you distribute them, will depend the whole subsequent life. When distributing duties in the house, both must necessarily be involved. To adjust the life of a young family can only joint actions of the newlyweds. Do not look back at the past and share all the responsibilities for men and women. Moreover, today a woman, like a man, earns money, and cooking, cleaning and washing, thanks to modern technology, do not require much effort. From the first day, agree to do everything together, and adhere to this agreement. When each of you passes the full course of a young soldier in a domestic setting, you will be able to appreciate each other's efforts, which will exhaust the mass of conflicts.
Do not be angry and do not make scenes, if, something is done wrong. All this is your life experience, and in time all duties will be fulfilled ideally.
Finance.
"Love comes and goes, but you always want to eat" - each of us, if not speaking, at least heard this phrase. And she approaches the brief description of our life as never before. And for a happy, and most importantly peaceful existence, a young family needs a material base. To hope for the help of parents is not worth it, after all you decided to start an independent life. But usually at the beginning of the money a lot does not happen. And it is worth it to prepare mentally.
Even if both spouses work, the habitual free way of life and inability to distribute money competently make themselves felt in the first months. Hence quarrels, resentments, and sometimes even scandals. Many couples can not stand it and leave it because of financial difficulties, especially if they are not foreseen.
In order to avoid such situations, try to divide your family budget into basic expenses, additional and free money. And remember, from now on the notion of "your" and "mine" turns into "our", and the family budget should be shared. Only in such cases you will not have any disputes about this, and it will be easier to adjust the way of life for a young family.
Of course, every family sets its own rules, some wives do not want to work and receive a certain amount of money from their husband every week on food and necessary things, or, conversely, a husband who gives everything he earns to his wife lives on such "handouts". But think for yourself, would you like to hide the stash, or hide it from you? Of course, it's up to you.
Do not forget about feelings.
Despite all the problems and difficulties, do not forget that you put on rings as a sign of your mutual love, and not a joint shopping and washing of dishes. Therefore, you should find time to express your feelings. Continue the same walk in the evenings, go to cafes and restaurants, pamper each other with presents and surprises, spend romantic evenings. Moreover, now you do not need to rush to the last outgoing transport, and report to your parents. Use all the opportunities that marriage gives you. Do not forget to admit to each other in love, call affectionate names, show caring and tenderness, and then all problems will go to the background. Remember your love, especially when the conflict is on the horizon, and remember that after each quarrel there will necessarily be a pleasant reconciliation.
After all, perhaps soon all your free time you will take away the joint efforts associated with the birth of crumbs.