It seems that from the day of the tragic death of my husband Andrew was not six months, but several years. These months were the most difficult for me and for my mother-in-law, but most of all I got my daughter - our four-year-old Anechka: a drunken driver knocked her dad right in front of the baby. After that, she stopped talking. Absolutely. November 12th
I decided to keep a diary to write down what is changing in our life. Today, Anya and I again went to the children's psychologist. Again the same questions of a specialist, already become templateed my answers. From the psychologist I hear that "the girl's silence is the result of a serious mental trauma." Nothing new. Just a statement of facts, and no real help, no practical advice. At first I thought that Anechka was very frightened, and so she was silent. But a week after the tragedy, Anya did not speak. Sometimes you get the impression that she really wants to say something.
I listen to these silent words, but ... only two large tears run from the daughters' frightened eyes - she will not say anything again.
14 November
That night Anechka came running to me again in tears. Almost every day after midnight she wakes up in a cold sweat. I think she's having nightmares. But she will not say about it ... I sang her favorite fairy lullaby and shook her hands: she is so small, so helpless ... And yesterday the teacher said that Anechka was described during the quiet hour. Previously, this has not happened to her. It is urgent to look for a more experienced doctor ...
November 18th
Have made inspection, have passed or have taken place US. All Anne analyzes are in order.
29th of November
Anyuta and I came earlier from the kindergarten. She had to be picked up after the phone call of the teacher. Elena Eduardovna said that the children are very frightened, "Anechka has hysterics. At home, Anne cried, until her dream wore off. I no longer know who to go to and what to do. Maybe take a vacation for a couple of weeks? We both will not interfere with the rest.
December 8
I'm on vacation. Only a month I have to try to cure my daughter! I watch her all day long, but I do not understand anything at all! Walking, silent, sometimes smiling, listening carefully to fairy tales ... Then suddenly begins to cry. In the evening Anechka closed herself in the room and began drawing. I did not interfere, only peeked through the door crack. She drew a couple of hours - sweepingly, monotonously ...
9th December
Did the cleaning and came across children's drawings hidden behind the bed. I looked at Anina's art and was horrified - black stains on the whole sheet, and nothing more! And under the drawings she found the daughter's "treasures": father's tie, his lighter and one of the last pictures where Andrei throws up Anyuta, and she giggles loudly. Again and again I look at the drawings ... We need to see a doctor. Where to find a good specialist?
December 11th
The new doctor has not been found yet, she spent a whole day on the phone and on forums on the Internet to learn more about similar cases. And at night - again Anin weeping, wet sheet and guilt, hidden in the corners of the daughter's huge blue eyes.
14 December
Today was another psychologist. The same words, the same questions, the same advice. All that he said, I knew a long time ago. If only someone helped! .. I do not take Anya to the kindergarten, because it gets worse there than at home.
16 December
We're going to my mom's. Of course, everything will change there: another situation, and Anyuta simply adores her grandmother! I hope that the changes will benefit Anya.
21 December
This morning it seemed to me that my daughter was a little better, she had not cried for several days. After lunch we all went shopping together, my mother decided to give a doll to her granddaughter. Immediately it was clear that this news revived my girl: in the look there was so much waiting! But at the crossroads, some driver of the "Zhiguli" suddenly braked heavily ... Anya sobbed until the evening ... "Without the help of a specialist, she certainly will not be able to get out of her condition" - these are my mother's thoughts aloud.
December, 25
Mom came from the store and just glows. It turns out that her neighbor advised a doctor. She said that he uses non-traditional methods of treatment. How much is a visit to this miracle worker, my mother did not recognize, but I would give everything, just to hear again the sonorous voice of my bird.
27th of December
Anya and I had this "unconventional" doctor ... He offered hypnosis and treatment with ... animals. The doctor said that horses or dolphins help best. But you can not see them for sessions, so he advised us to have a dog.
December 28th
Another night without sleep, wet bed, hysterics ... I have a severe allergy to wool, but if the dog helps my daughter, I do not care about allergies. Today we return home (Mom also goes, wants, meet us New Year and celebrate Christmas), and tomorrow we will go to the "Bird Market" for the puppy.
December 30th
Yesterday we went for the dog, and returned with a kitten. We went all the way. Anechka looked at the animals as if she wanted to take them all with them. I saw - that the daughter can not decide in any way. And then meet the dry old woman: "Take a kitten! I'll give it to you free of charge, I'd just have to attach it to good people ... "Anya held out her hands to the kitten, pressed the mongrel to her, and so looked at me, which I immediately understood: the choice was made. The first quiet night! No crying, no shouting. Dry bed. And the redeemed Barsik sleeps with the new mistress ... I can already rest calmly ... So exhausted! .. No strength ...
6th January
Behind the New Year and expectations for good changes. They really are: we had Barsik, but tears and hysterics disappeared. But the house is still the same oppressive silence. Mom tells Anechka stories that animals in Christmas say in a human voice. The little one listens to her and smiles carefully and happily.
Jan. 7
Today is probably the happiest day of my life! Last night, when I was packing my daughter to sleep, the cat, purring, was putting it on her bed. And suddenly Anya said: "Mom, wake me up early tomorrow, I want to hear what Barsik will say to me." God heard my prayers or the advice of a wonderful doctor helped - it does not matter. The main thing - a miracle, finally happened, and my sun can talk again!