When a man brings up his wife's children from another marriage, this is considered the norm. But when, to the exact opposite, a lot of problems arise. A woman often can not find a common language with her husband's child. Because of this, there are frequent problems between spouses.
How to properly raise a child's husband from another marriage. To begin with, you must remember that you are an adult. A child is a small and unprotected being. It requires a lot of caress and attention from adults.
To begin with, you should be proud primarily of your husband, that he did not abandon his child, unlike many scoundrels. And do not give vent to your emotions and jealousy, the kid has not done you any harm. It will be much easier for you to take the child into the family if you start to control your own emotions.
What should you do if you accept the baby with open arms and he gives the lapel in response? This is a very common situation and requires a very delicate solution. Most often the child from the previous marriage begins to behave very frivolously: he is rude, insolent, dirty, behaves aggressively, and begins to criticize you. Giving this to understand that his mother was always better than you.
Whatever you do, the kid behaves even more aggressively towards you. Try to understand the child, he lost his mother, he was dragged out of his usual circle of communication. For a child, this situation is much more difficult than for you. He will compare you with his mother in everything, and you will always be a loser, no matter what his mom was. You need to help deal with this problem that has fallen on the child.
First, try to leave the child with her husband more often alone. Let them go to the cinema together, theaters, the zoo. If they wanted to do something together at home, you just go to the store, and ask them to like a delicious. Do it all unobtrusively so that the spouse and his baby do not think that you specifically go to the store, leaving them alone. Without you they can talk on topics that you can not discuss.
Secondly, do not bribe the child with gifts and attention. Children feel very much a trick and flattery. If you want to give your child a gift, do it, the child will accept it with gratitude. But, if you give up gifts and sweets every day, he will feel your flattery, and nothing more. Pay attention to the child, but do it with all your heart, do not grind your teeth, start talking with him and play with him. It will not lead to anything good. Gradually, his attitude toward you will begin to change.
Thirdly, you must talk with your husband. Ask him how to properly behave towards his child. Analyze what you are doing right and wrong. At this point, your spouse must understand that you are determined to establish relationships with the child. Maybe at this moment, your spouse will help you, and will give you a helping hand on both sides, and will connect you and his child.
Fourth, try to stay with the child alone. Just do not do this for a long time. During this time, communicate with the child, ask him to help you, consult. Let the child understand that he is smarter than you in some things. You can trust him with some secret with respect to his dad. For example, what a gift for a regular holiday. This will be your common secret, which will connect you for a certain time. Let the child understand that you are one with him, that you need him, as well as his father.
Find the golden mean in the relationship, do not jump from the fire into the fire. It is not necessary to him about and without an occasion to indicate what to do. Otherwise one day you will hear from him in response: "Who are you to tell me?". Unobtrusively let the child know that you are right in this situation of claims, but in no case do not state that you are the landlady and you will decide what is right and what is not. Otherwise, all your efforts will go to "no."