The child has a duty to brush his teeth or clean his toys, for example. And what can we say about the time when the kid goes to school! Here, responsibility becomes a decisive factor in successful training. Agree, parents who do not need to check every evening whether all the textbooks are folded into a portfolio, whether all the notebooks are signed, it's much safer to send their child to school: they can be sure that the child will not be distracted at the lesson, and the homework will correctly record . But how to ensure that the child learns to be responsible for his actions? Of course, it would be strange to demand from a tiny toddler accountability for his actions and even more so their consequences - up to a certain age, children do not even realize the cause-and-effect relationship of phenomena. But already in 3-3,5 years the child is quite capable of understanding what is good and what is bad. So how do you teach the baby responsibility?
Encourage initiative
The kid wants to wash the dishes? Great, put a stool next to mine and mine together! Is he trying to help clean up the house? Solemnly we give a vacuum cleaner. Of course, the process will stretch, but the karapuz will be proud that he is busy with an important "adult" affair! If the family has children younger, it is quite possible to entrust the elder with simple duties. For example, carry bottles to the kitchen after feeding. Caring will increase the responsibility and love for the younger brother or sister. It is important only to observe the golden mean and give feasible and tireless tasks. Do not forget to praise and thank the baby! This, too, must be able to do. If you praise often, then praise depreciates, if you praise abstractly ("Thank you, well done") - is not perceived. It is necessary to thank from the bottom of the heart and specifically, emphasizing, for what exactly: "You washed the dishes so well! I now have free time to go out with you! Thank you!".
Trust that the baby is powerful
Naturally, assignments and responsibilities must be achievable. If you entrust something with which the kid obviously will not cope, nothing but tears and resentment will come. And if something does not work out, do not be lazy to explain and show how it's done. Phrases: "Okay, I'll do everything myself" or "Well, how much you can spend for this time" - a definitive taboo. Of course, it's easier and faster to tie shoelaces, carry dirty dishes and remove toys. But if you suppress the initiative of the child - do not be angry with him for having to tie the laces up to the fourth grade. Use the moment while he wants to master some business. Over time, interest can disappear altogether.
Variants of responsibility
The child will fall into a difficult situation more than once in his life. You will not be able to stay with him all the time. But to explain how to act in one way or another is your duty. Responsibility for their safety, health. Telling about open windows, rosettes, hot stove, be sure to say "action-consequence": "Do not touch the oven when it prepares food, it heats up. If you touch it with your fingers, you can get burned, it will be very painful! ". Becoming older, the child will learn the "scheme" of the case and learn how to analyze it independently.
Respect
This is also a side of responsibility. Do not make noise, because Dad sleeps, do not shout, because my grandmother has a headache. It is important to bring to the child's consciousness the fact that the love and care that he receives must be given to others. This also needs to be learned.
Attitude to things
To appreciate things a child will learn only with appropriate explanations. "You've scattered it, you've got to clean it up," "Threw it, broke it? What a pity, but there is no more money to buy such a wonderful toy. " Step by step the little man will understand that from his accuracy depends what is in his "management". The neatness of the personal "zone" (room, corner, etc.), cleanliness of the environment is an important rule that the kid should understand from childhood. Candy wrappers, broken paddles, sachets - all this place in a trash can, and not on the ground; toys - on shelves, things - on a chair or in a chest of drawers.
Responsibility for the word
This is also very important! Surely you have met people who are slow to fulfill their promises. He said - and forgot, you think, a great thing! It is better not to deal with such characters at all. But there are others - for them the word is equated with action and this promise is almost a fulfilled request. A person who keeps his word, respects everyone. He can be trusted. It is said - done, and therefore it is important to explain to the kid that it is necessary to approach promises very responsibly.
We set up the mechanism
• Step 1. Independent solutions
From an early age it is useful to put the child in a situation of choice (of course, under personal control, because children have superficial injunctions about useful and harmful, dangerous and safe). Suggesting something, choose 2-3 alternatives that suit you in all respects, and ask the child to make a choice. For example, breakfast porridge or cottage cheese with sour cream, put jeans or trousers on the street, etc.
• Step 2. Control
It is important not only that the child does the work assigned to him, but also performs well. Controlling the actions of crumbs proves that what you are doing is really important for you, in addition, self-control develops.
• Step 3. "Frames"
It is better to clearly state that one can not do anything (dangerous, harmful, etc.) than to constantly pull out the crumbs. There are prohibitions categorical (dangerous for life: "do not go to open windows", "do not put your hand in the fire," etc.), but there are prohibitions of "conditionally unfavorable actions", convenient for parents ("do not get into mud - "). Categorical prohibitions are not discussed, "convenient" prohibitions can be given to disrupt in order for the kid to understand for himself what it will lead to (for example, why it is impossible to climb into a puddle in boots: it's cold, you can catch a cold). After the consequences of the violation of the prohibition, it is necessary to clearly identify why it happened that happened, and lead to the idea of what a ban is useful.
• Step 4. Freedom
Anything that is not forbidden is allowed, which means that if you designate a "no" zone, be prepared to give your child freedom of action in other areas. This is necessary for the formation of personality and character. Many children learn life by trial and error and do not perceive the "moralizing" of their parents. Giving your baby a choice, listening to his wishes, always be there to protect yourself from harm, warn or together rejoice at the success of crumbs!
• Step 5. Encouragement and punishment
It is important not only to praise the baby, but sometimes to impose "penal sanctions". For example: "You did not remove your toys, and I had to put them in their places, now I'm so tired that I can not read a fairy tale for the night." On a simple example, the child will understand the cause-effect relationship, as well as the fact that the unfinished business is automatically transferred to another person. The development of the child's personality requires independent "important" deeds. Therefore, feasible duties should be in the life of every crumb. The accomplished business brings pleasure, raises self-esteem and accumulates personal experience of behavior.
Game and reward
The kid learns the world by playing, and even such an important concept as responsibility will be better absorbed in the game. Cleaning - the game "who is faster, cleaner and tidy"; washing dishes - playing with water, etc. Today parents share with each other on the Internet their findings, so, for the development of independence, mom and dad draw kids cards with the things that need to be done during the day, and hang on the fridge; give children "pluses", "stars" or "coins", which at the end of the week can be exchanged, for example, for sweetness, and much more, the game and reward - a great incentive for the success of the "enterprise".
Do not change the rules!
accepted once "can not" should not change depending on your mood or situation. For example, if you can not touch your mother's bag, you can not touch her! Even if the bag - the only thing that now can distract the child, it is prohibited, and therefore, forget about it.