In the modern world very much is usually written off for stress, and problems in the sexual sphere are no exception. Indeed, problems on the sexual front have a detrimental effect on everything else, we become irritable, sad and distracted. Any family psychologist will say that the problems in bed are a clear sign that there are problems in the relations themselves. So to solve sexual problems, you need to find out the true cause that has affected their occurrence, and begin to eliminate it completely.
Many people happen that everything around is not as it should be. At work, the time drags on infinitely slowly, and still lacks it to make it all the time, the bosses are always in a bad mood and put their bad mood on you, at home, a lot of things that do not have any time, no time, no desire. As a result, the negative gradually accumulates, growing as a result of stress.
Exhausted and morally, and physically, people, regardless of the age, are least likely to think about satisfying their sexual needs. Studies have shown that more than 40% of people in the age range of 35 to 46 years do not want to have sex while in a state of stress. Then, what to do if you do not want sex? Psychologists give several recommendations.
- The main thing to realize, first of all, it is necessary for yourself, that there are reasons why you might not want sex, for example you did not sleep a few nights, because a sick child just did not let you do it, a blockage at work, or a banal fatigue. In the end, you are a living person, not a robot and are not able to adapt to all life's troubles. In such a situation, you do not have to torture yourself even more, proving to everyone that you are the best wife who will feed and clean and wash and sleep and will lay her husband happy, just give yourself a rest. Hand over some of the household chores to your husband, just do it out loud, because men do not know how to read minds, just like women. Just do not do it abruptly and with claims, just calmly explain the situation, the husband is also a man, he will understand and regret.
- Think, do you have a need for sex for sex. After all, the amount of hormones necessary for the female body is produced not only during sexual intercourse, sometimes it is enough just for gentle strokes and massage. If sex makes you feel more desirable and attractive, put on the most stunning dress, make a hairdo, go out into the light and flirt with someone for your own pleasure (the main thing in moderation and flirtation). If sex is your way to assert yourself, channel your energy into another channel, find an interesting activity, be it cooking courses or strip plastic, and plunge into it with your head, on the one hand self-assertive, and on the other, acquire new, useful skills.
- Do not try to save the impossible. Attitudes can not always remain as they were at the beginning, they change in the same way as we change. They do not get worse, they just become different, more mature and stronger.
- Do not forget about each other. Do not let work, life and routine take all your time. Leave a little for each other. If your relationships are not based on sex, but on mutual affection and tenderness, then a little attention to each other will allow you to get rid of the prolonged abstinence.
- Change the location of the dislocation. Neither does it help to detach from problems and unpleasant thoughts, like a change in the situation. Try to be together more often, but not on the couch by the TV, but somewhere outside your home. Go for a husband to work and invite him to a movie or a cafe, or just take a walk. And this action should not be one-off!
- Be synchronous. It is known that a man needs less time to reach orgasm than a woman. Is it known to your man? Does he know what exactly you like in sex, what is your favorite position, where are your most sensitive places located, that, in the end, do you like in the process of copulation? If you are not sure of the answers to these questions, promptly clarify them, and if necessary, clarify the situation. Sex should be practiced alone, but otherwise it's not sex, but masturbation, for which the partner is not needed.
- If you want to achieve a positive effect, you do not need erotic fantasies, but strong arguments. Think about the benefits of sex for health, read the necessary literature, or look for the right information on the Internet, stock up on facts and do business.