When a family is formed, the excessive presence of the parents of both parties in it, often leads to discord and misunderstanding. That is why young people always try to live separately. But there are situations when suddenly it turns out that the mother-in-law wants to live with us. What to do in this case, so as not to spoil relations with her husband and his mother, but at the same time keep peace and quiet in your family?
To begin with, in order to understand how best to proceed and what kind of behavior strategy to choose, it is necessary to answer to yourself the question - why do you want to live with our mother-in-law? Now we will analyze the most popular options.
Loneliness
It may be that your loved one has a father, and now his mother-in-law feels lonely. In this case, of course, she wants to live with her own people. Therefore, you need to act very carefully, because you can catch the feelings of not only your mother-in-law, but your husband and appear in their eyes unfeeling. First, talk about the situation with your husband. Explain to him that you understand your mother-in-law and how difficult it is for her now. But on the other hand, she also needs to understand that you already have a family of your own. Of course, she can come to you when she wants and spend time with her own people, but it will be difficult for you to live in the same house, because, as is known, when two landladies appear, the mode disappears.
Of course, in this situation, the mother-in-law can still say that she will never interfere with anyone, and you do not consider her a native person and can simply be offended at you. By the way, it is worth noting that in any case, a person who really loves and respects his children, always understands that he simply has no right to try to fully enter into their lives. Therefore, if your mother-in-law wants to live with you, then, no matter how she denied it, consciously or subconsciously, she indulges her egoism, which is already wrong. In such cases, if there is no other way out, it can be suggested simply to change the mother-in-law's place of residence. That is, find her a dwelling near you. Thus, she will always be able to come to her relatives, but you will not be on the same living place all day and night.
Education of grandchildren
It may also be that your mother-in-law wants to live with you to help educate your children. Of course, grandmother's help is very good, but only if the parents agree with her methods of upbringing. If you calculate that it is better for your children to go to a kindergarten than to spend time with your grandmother, then you will have to find arguments to dissuade the mother of her husband from such an idea. You can operate with the fact that children go to a good kindergarten, where educators perfectly teach their knowledge of modern methods and techniques. Remember that this situation can really become a conflict, if no arguments help and you still have to say to your mother-in-law that you just do not want her to be fully engaged in the upbringing of children. Of course, this will significantly affect your relationship, but on the other hand, if you think that this influence is really harmful, then it's best to stand on your own until the last, regardless of the views of your husband and your mother-in-law.
Health problems
Another reason why your mother-in-law may want to live with you is health problems. In this case, you still have to accept. Whatever your relationship with your mother-in-law, do not forget that she is your husband's mother. And this means that she gave him life and brought up. And now its turn to help her. And yours, since you are already one family. Therefore, it only remains to reconcile with the situation and to help your mother in law in what it needs.
In any case, no matter how the situation develops, never show your husband his sharply negative attitude towards his mother-in-law, even if this is so. You need the husband to decide whether he wants to live with his mother, and not listen to your cries and insults in her direction. Therefore, it is better to pick up some arguments that will make him think and eventually decide that with all his love for his mother, he still does not want to live with her.