The initial impression is deceptive
It happens that we get to know a person and he will like it at first sight. Already after a couple of hours of communication we are ready to resist the mountain and defend his honor. But time passes and it turns out that our new ideal friend is not so ideal. For example, his talkativeness and communality is, in fact, a love of gossip and an inability to remain silent, even when necessary. And restraint and calmness is a sign of isolation, inner complexion and alienation. As a result, a new friend ceases to be very fast, and we can not understand how this could be wrong for a person. In order that such incidents do not occur, you must always be sober about the situation, and the people who are in it. Therefore, before you write down someone in the circle of friends and consider his qualities as ideal, you need to give yourself time to look at a new friend or acquaintance. Even if you are obsessively drawn to swear by a person in eternal friendship, or even love, you need to self-educate and not "drive horses." Remember that depending on the situation, people behave differently. Especially if they are acquainted with a new person or collective. It is entirely possible that this person simply "put on a mask" and looks at the croakers, and his behavior is a normal game. Therefore, even if you liked the person, immediately remind yourself that there must be time before you can draw any conclusions.
All people make mistakes
Often we tend to idealize our loved ones, who have done good deeds to us and to other people more than once. Little by little we begin to see in them real angels who simply can not and should not do something that is not inherent in them. And when this happens, the world seems to crumble, because our ideal man suddenly became completely earthly, having its shortcomings. If this happens, in no case should not blame the person that he behaved so badly. In fact, there is nothing terrible in what happened. If you did not idealize it, then this would not happen. In order not to be disappointed, always remember that in every living person there are shortcomings. For example, your favorite ideal brother never gets drunk, beautifies himself with the ladies and is guided only by love. And then suddenly he gets drunk, starts to molest the girl, which obviously you will not call the Madonna and will not turn any attention to your requests to stop. And you are standing, looking at it all and it seems to you that the world has collapsed, because the person was completely netakim, as you saw it. But in fact, nothing terrible has happened. Perhaps a man just broke and could not stand it, he wanted to stay different, for in each of us there lives the obdurate side, which, under a certain confluence of circumstances, begs for an apparition. Therefore, instead of falling into hysterics, you need to remember that this person has the full right not to respond adequately to stresses, life vicissitudes and so on. And this behavior is not a sign that it's bad. This is a sign that he is alive, not perfect. And you, looking at his behavior, should remember yourself. After all, it used to be that you broke yourself and did something uncharacteristic for yourself, and then you regretted it. It is normal behavior if it is not a habit. And when you enter, instead of accusing a person of destroying your illusions, you need to remember that you love him no matter how he behaves and want to help him get out of the life's pit. Therefore, looking at your loved ones, always remember to yourself that they are not heroes of a primitive series, in which all the good ones are ideal, and the bad ones are evil and insidious to the core. They are ordinary people, with their own psyche and psychology, which can not always behave in a positive way and have the right sometimes to deviate from their norms in order to survive the stress or simply to trivialize from all routine and routine.
Do not think up scripts
Pretending out of someone the image of an ideal person, we begin in the mind to "write" whole scenarios of his behavior. It's just that our person for some reason does not want to behave as we wish. He speaks other phrases, does things that we do not have in our scenario, and is not at all the personality that we thought of ourselves. In this case, the whole problem is that women often come up with qualities that they do not have. Taking as a basis single acts or character traits, the girls come up with a complete picture for themselves, and then they begin to believe that the person should and will behave just like that. When he does not, the ideal breaks up and a moment of disappointment sets in. In order not to cry over the fragments of your dreams, always soberly assess the qualities and actions of people who surround you. Sometimes what we can consider the main character trait is only a surge of emotion or a good game to the public. Therefore, before we begin to create in our minds the variants of the model of our ideal's behavior, we need to carefully observe it in other situations, in order to understand how much its real actions and character traits coincide with those that we came up with. There is no need to ascribe quality if we absolutely they are not sure. Only when we see a systematic repetition of certain reactions and form-formation, one can say, and that, not with absolute certainty that a person possesses the quality that we want to see in it. Otherwise, you need to admit to yourself that reality and the ideal are two different things that you should never get tangled with.
Listen to others
Here we are not talking about believing rumors about all rumors, but about simply listening to the opinions of others and remembering it. If people have not once told you that the person you calculate as an ideal is mean, then you need to listen to their opinion and look more closely. Many are beginning to deliberately look for negative people in people they've heard about, which is also a big mistake. It is necessary simply to observe and evaluate all situations without yielding to impulses. Then you can see real qualities, and not created by your ideal ideal traits.
In any case, looking at other people, always remember what kind of person you are. Even with a bunch of good qualities, you know about your shortcomings. And such shortcomings are absolutely specified by a living person. Therefore, ideal people do not exist, there is simplicity, whose faults are easier to tolerate.