Mythical history
"I never went by that route, and the estate that day and that very hour was there, and he came from another city and confused the streets ..." Of course, the stories can be different (you flew one flight , entered one faculty), they have one thing in common: you are sure that this meeting was prepared from above, and now you even think that it would be terrible if you were in the wrong place and at that hour. Keep this feeling of fear for as long as possible. And the story itself, too. Remember her in some romantic situations (although in itself such a memory is already a romance), tell sometimes to friends and necessarily - to your children. Do not let any sober people question the mystery of this event. Such stories protect love, help survive crises and protect the family from disintegration. The non-randomness of the meeting gives the existence of your union a special meaning and in all situations helps to think positively. Much can be experienced if you know that all this is not just for fun.
Test: family geometry
Draw your pair with two intersecting squares. See how large the intersection area is. It should be 1 / 4-1 / 3, not more. Everyone needs to have their own space, interests, hobbies, acquaintances. "Do not squeeze the palm on which the butterfly sits, and she will always come to her," is a Japanese proverb. Beautiful and very correct.
Happy ancestors
If a couple thinks their relationship is happy for a long time, then at least one of the spouses has the same happy parents in the family life. Family happiness is inherited: after all, we learn the characteristics of relationships from an early age, we see how loving people behave. How to quarrel, forgive, show tenderness - all this can not be learned from books, it comes into life. Imperceptibly and becomes a part of it. And the person who grew up in a happy family is so strong that his happiness potential is enough for two (in case the partner is not so lucky as a child). If you have not seen such an example in the parents' family, then other relatives and even just acquaintances can help. Find among them a couple (the older, the better) that you really like. Often watch it. Even one example is enough that in the depths of our soul we are convinced: love can live very long.
Own Dictionary
You must have secret words and expressions that no one else knows. That is, literally: if you say so, no one but you will understand. Of course, you do not need to speak this language at all, but in some cases, in certain situations, it is very useful, despite all the richness of your vocabulary. How, for example, to say at a party to a partner that he behaves not very worthy: he drinks a lot, compliments that are unpleasant to you (because they are not for you), flaunts on purpose? "Stop this way of behaving!" - Roughly, and the surrounding people will immediately understand: between you something is wrong. One family for 15 years in these situations says: "Do not screw it." And you? You will also need words that indicate a desire to retire, an expression of extreme discontent and a synonym for the phrase: "Let's go home, how long can you sit with your mother?" Couples who have lived together for many happy years, have in their vocabulary ten or three such words, no less. Gifts without a reason, gentle SMS-ki without meaning, invitations to meetings warm up feelings and prolong love.
Man, unlike animals, needs strong emotions and new impressions. And then ... Every day is the same. "Even we quarrel, as in the script, I know exactly what he will say, and he knows what I will say." The more intense love for people was before the wedding, the higher the probability that soon they will part because of "the relationship has become obsolete." The contrast is too great. Turn back the time is impossible, but to make the relationship more vividly necessary. According to the two-factor theory of emotions, any excitation, from whatever it takes place, is transferred to an object that is nearby and at the same time is evaluated as pleasant. Any condition that causes physiological arousal (even fear or anger) enhances the romantic attraction. So, it is necessary to do something together that causes strong emotions. Any surprises are useful, even if planned. Views that do not correspond to the situation (for example, a long "hinting" look during lunch at relatives or in the subway). And appointment meetings to each other. What is the point of traveling to the other end of the city and sitting on a bench when you have a well-appointed apartment? Yes, no. That's why it's very important.
Constant rituals
These conventions are usually private, exist in the form of internal taboos and rules. "We never quit silently." He would shout loudly: "All for now!", "We kiss whenever we meet, even if we parted only for half an hour." Such rituals, it would seem, should hinder relations and limit. First of all, we need a sense of stability in the organization of our life, we need that something is always the same, permanent.Rituals just give a sense of calmness .What happens around, whatever the periods we were not worried, everything is in order, if I still waving from the window.In addition, the rituals are strong and do not allow to get involved in a serious conflict.If you and your husband have a rule of kissing when going to work, you can confidently say that a quarrel between you will not be protracted.In addition, there is no need to think how to make up In fact, such family rituals create one great tradition - to pay attention and maintain good relations in spite of everything.