Mother - extrovert, son - introvert: how to find an approach?

Between children and parents it is quite difficult to establish mutual understanding. Despite the love for each other, because of the great difference in age, children do not always understand what parents want from them, and parents, in turn, perceive many of their children's actions as a whim and do not try to understand their emotional throws. But if the older and younger generation are at least similar in character, then there is still some way to find a contact. Much worse and more difficult in those cases when children and parents are cardinally opposite. For example, in families where the mother is a typical extrovert and the son is a real introvert, there rarely is understanding, because the mother and the child have different worldviews and situations. But still they love each other, which means they should try to find common ground, otherwise such people will gradually move away from each other and their connection will disappear.


A look at the situation

In order to understand how to communicate with your child, the mother, first of all, you need to look at the world through his eyes. She is an open and sociable person. In case of any problems and experiences, the woman-extrovert always shares them with her relatives. She generally talks a lot. The introvert intro is a silent and secretive individual who tries not to spit out emotions on others. Many people in general think that there are practically no Wintrovitts of these emotions. In fact, such a judgment is corneal-correct. Introverts are perfectly able to feel. They simply experience all the emotions in themselves, both positive and negative. Surrounding introverts may seem too withdrawn and unsociable, but in fact, such people just do not need constant communication and they feel uncomfortable in large companies. If you are an introvert mother, then, first of all, you need to learn to see the situation through the eyes of your son. When something happens, he tries everything himself. And this is not because he hides something from you or trusts your wife. Just such people are accustomed to deal with their affairs independently. Extraverts become easier when they talk about the all-round and native. But introverts, this behavior does not help at all. It is better to retire, sit somewhere in silence and tranquility, think about everything, come to your senses.

Each situation introvert and extrovert see cardinally opposite. An extrovert immediately tries to solve something, tells others, seeks advice. He can cry, laugh, even hysterical, if the situation is very unordinary. Introvert all this will not happen. He silently looks, appreciates, secluded and will think. And, if he does not make up his mind, he will not raise the topic any more, since this is the point, if the conversations still do not lead to finding the right solution. Therefore, when you see that your child is locked up and does not want to say anything, do not be angry with him, take offense, say that he is wrong. Remember that introverts are choosing exactly this form for the perception of situations. If a guy has something to say in life, he has become self-absorbed, does not want to communicate with other people, in no case should he tell his child that he is a fool and will not survive with such a general. For him it is very painful, because with the help of such behavior, he is only trying to survive his loss or some problem. He does not want to tell anyone anything, but listen to constant questions about why he has such a bad mood that the guy absolutely does not have any desire. He better sit silently in his room and play games than try to get into the society that is currently for his main irritant. That's why my mother needs to understand why the son behaves this way and support it. Otherwise, it will cause him a lot of pain.

If the guy knows that his mother is always on his side and shares his choice and decision, then from time to time will tell you something, to share with you. Of course, this will be completely different from what happens between the two extroverts, but believe me, for introvert such behavior is already a manifestation of great confidence and love. And you, when the son starts to tell something, you need not forget that you need to look at the situation through the eyes of the boy and not to condemn him the ways of making and solving situations. They are not bad and wrong, they just look like the complete opposite of yours. But in this there is nothing terrible and terrible. Of course, introverts are less likely to rely on someone else's experience, but in this case they are even lucky, because they are less likely to be affected by the influence. But anyway, you should always take the behavior of the son, otherwise he will stop trusting you, make sure that you do not understand him at all and will close even more. And when this happens, then you will hardly be able to reach it.

Observe your son

In communication with introverts, observation can very well be helped. In fact, for such a person is perfectly visible when he has a good mood, and when bad, when he needs to say something, because he is in a dialogue, and when it is worth keeping silent. If close people do not try to constantly adjust introverts under their form of communication, but simply look at their reactions and behavior in different situations, then in time they begin to understand such people. Especially you are a mother, and the heart always tells you how best to do it. But here the character gives its own, so it is very often difficult for you to hear a Holocaust and you want to do what you want to do with you. But you can not do this. And you will notice how the mood changes and deteriorates, how it closes even more if you use the wrong approach. But for this you need to constantly look at such a person. Yes, it is very difficult for extroverts to understand introverts, from which both sides suffer. But if the extrovert ceases to think subjectively and opens his mind and heart for an understanding of a completely opposite character and outlook, the contact is gradually improved and understanding comes.

Disobey

One can never blame a person, let alone a child, because he is like that. Always remember that his type of behavior is not bad or abnormal, just he is not like you. But if the young man does not show his feelings constantly, this does not mean at all that he does not like it. He loves his mother, just wants to love her and accept him as he is. And if you shout at the child and get angry because he does not show his feelings and emotions the way you would like to, this behavior simply breaks his psyche. Over time, he really starts to consider himself not like everyone else, wrong, flawed. Moreover, in the world, where there are more extroverts, it is not difficult for such people to establish themselves in the thought that taking off something is wrong. Therefore, in any case, do not let a guy really believe it, otherwise it will hurt him and you. So, every time you want to shout at your son in your heart, remember that you break his character and take away his faith in yourself.