Practitioners in the field of family and marriage are constantly convinced of the existence of completely legitimate circumstances that could endanger once-happy marriage. and if so - do not despair. because if the diagnosis is already known, then "recovery" is just a matter of time. there would be a desire to overcome this black band by joint efforts - that's what is important. because without this, any, even the most miraculous medicines will not be able to help you.
Lies-razluchnitsa
Well, with what to begin a conversation about the shaken family happiness, if not from the treacherous betrayal of one of the partners! What is there to say is a weak man, and if temptations come across at every step, then it's hard to resist, but what's interesting is that although newlyweds tend to experience betrayal much more emotionally, with wringing hands and slamming doors, but before divorce it gets much less often than in families with experience.
Psychologists explain this not only by the fact that in a modern family young people tend to release more noisily steam and, as a result, calm down more quickly. It's also about what kind of relationship is in the forefront of partners in the marriage union. In newly created families, a priority role, as a rule, belongs to sex, and after all, it is based primarily on feelings, not on the mind. Therefore, the night of love, usually no less stormy than the previous explanation of relations, quite often leads to reconciliation, especially if the "left" jerk was accidental.
But spouses, who have lived together for many years, attach the greatest importance to the trustworthiness of their relationships. And in their trauma, it hurts not so much that a partner with somebody "slept" like a betrayal on the part of a loved one. And the image of the spouse who betrayed the most sacred - the absolute confidence in him, to erase from the mind is more difficult. Here you can not get by with bed games, because you have to work on your mind too.
Although emotions should not be forgotten, especially when it comes to overcoming the crisis. For example, a good way to forget the past, if the betrayal occurred in a family nest, is to collect in bed sheets together with pillows and blankets (extremists can add here and the bed itself), then burn it near the trash in the yard, and then together go to the store to buy all new.
But this is not the main thing. According to psychologists, it is more important for someone who wants to be forgiven to be sincere and honest. And it is in words, in hard, and perhaps long conversations, to try to convince one-half that this will not happen again. Well, the injured party can advise one thing: listen as carefully as possible to hear even the unspoken. After all, you are the half of one whole!
On the protection of their borders
The longer they live with each other, the more often they begin to quarrel on the basis of how they spend their free time. According to psychologists, this issue of spouses in the modern family is given a leading position. This topic introduces much more discord in the family than problems with sex or financial problems.
As a youth, joint pastime is considered to be the most suitable form of leisure activities, and no one hobbies here suffers. For example, first the spouses at the zorke rush to the nearest pond for catching fish, and then, towards evening, go to a disco or a cafe. With age (which is quite natural), enthusiasm weakens, and now each of the spouses wants to do something with his own. But here there can be a situation when to the husband or the wife it will seem a demonstrative departure from the general family problems.
Most often, reproaches are given to the spouse. This is understandable: after all, usually his wife is busy with household chores more than her husband, and sometimes finds a hobby in this area. But she still considers it a joint venture. Therefore, leaving the faithful for half a day in the garage or football is perceived as a shameful escape away from home. And piles, piles of resentment.
In this situation, we must try to understand our faithful. Well, what can you do - no men are created in order to lock themselves in four walls even the most cozy family nest! They want to feel like freestyle birds on wide expanses - and that's it. Therefore it is more sensible to give the husband such an opportunity, especially if he does not really get a career. Let him better realize himself as a dove-maker, than he does his self-digging and grows in himself a set of losers.
Middle age crisis
By this is meant the age of the spouses themselves, and not their joint life. According to observations of psychologists, in our time, the notorious crisis occurs in a modern family much earlier than it was several decades ago. Now he is overtaking young people who have just celebrated their thirtieth birthday, not forty-year-olds, as formerly thought. Acceleration of all that is happening in the modern world leads to the fact that men begin to think about their place in life quite early. And what happens as a result? And the conflict in the family turns out.
The fact is that when a husband of 33-35 years old sees how his younger colleagues are right up the ladder, he begins to understand that he can not keep up with his pace. He is increasingly aware that he will never reach any specific heights in the profession. And this, you see, does not add to optimism for a man.
In women, everything happens differently. Having spent a few years at home with children (or working for half the force for the same reason), the mother of the family eventually gets a chance for a good self-realization and takes a second wind. It turns out that as long as his wife begins to make an inspirational career, the husband digs his talents deeper into the earth and tries hard to put a cross on it. This difference in priorities, typical for families with experience, and can cause conflict.
If the matter has gone so far, then only an expert can help you. But if thunderclouds appear on the family sky from time to time, then try not to annoy your husband with the image of a steep business woman, even if you are one. Less talk about your successes and talents. Want to share with the blissful joy - better boast of the most modern dress that you bought on the occasion! And then add that having such a wonderful husband like him, you should always look "one hundred percent". Here's such a wonderful couple and we wish you to stay as long as possible.