I will say at once - I am a happy person, because I am a mother. At me, as Novoseltsev said from the movie "Office Romance," the boy and ... are still a boy.
But more recently, I thought that my mother is already three. I did not care whether the boy was a girl or a girl, it was just strange to feel again as a future mother. Pregnancy, like most women, was unplanned, but, so to speak, a continuous impromptu. When the test showed two strips, honestly, confused. My youngest son is not yet two years old, I am on maternity leave, a whole bunch of questions have immediately surfaced - what will happen with the work, will I manage morally, "will we pull" the third child financially, what permutation to do in the apartment, what will everyone say and the mass of everything that just struck me on the head.But after a few days, nature took its own: I felt that inside - a new life and you need to do everything to this life was happy.
At the 7th week of pregnancy, as a bolt from the blue, problems appeared: signs of a threat of miscarriage. The doctor immediately sent to the ultrasound, where the threats were confirmed. They appointed complete rest, "Utrozhestan", "Magne B6" and valerian. In the hospital did not go (there is nowhere to put the baby), but honestly carried out all the prescriptions of the doctor. Familiar girls living abroad, reassured, they say, we do not pay attention to such doctors at all, they say, it's all natural.
After a couple of days, the threatening discharge stopped, felt fine, did not hurt anywhere, did not draw. In short, I was sure that everything would be fine. During the treatment, I thought and thought about everything in the world, even invented the name for the child (for some reason there was a certainty that a girl would be born).
A month later at the next appointment with a doctor, I was again given a direction for ultrasound to be safe. And here I heard a terrible phrase: "But he is already lifeless. It's been almost two weeks since the fetus froze. " I heard it through a drumbeat in my head. Then I remember how my husband hugs me ... the hospital ... anesthesia ... medabort ... antibiotics. I must say that for all 4 days of stay in the hospital, I have never experienced distrust towards doctors or any "minus" attitude from the whole medical staff. Thank them for that much. I was convinced that we have professional doctors.
But the strangest thing began later. As if by reason I understood that everything, I'm not pregnant. And thoughts of inertia appeared anyway about a child who was no longer there - how to name, how to rearrange furniture, where to take money for everything. That is, I understand that I'm not crazy, but the body for the first fortnight has stubbornly refused to admit the truth. Psychologists on this occasion say that "the pain of losing a long-awaited baby worsens suffering. The main thing at this time is not to shut yourself up. Help relatives and relatives should become the main medicine in the period after the miscarriage. " And experts strongly recommend that couples who are faced with such a disaster, "do not keep silent and do not shut yourself up. We need to talk more, share our problems with each other. "
My medicine became my medicine or even the "blocker" of depression. I realized that I have two living and healthy children who, in any case, need my love, attention and care. And my husband and I were lucky. But I can understand those women who want to give birth to at least the first child and can not. It really all depends on the family and friends. And most importantly - from the woman herself. The main thing is to make the right choice: to fall into depression and destroy all possible perspectives and all your life or take yourself in hand, tune in for the best. After all, the idea is material, so what future do you imagine, this will be it.
I managed to make the right choice. I'm sure that it will work out for you. After all, the main thing is health and confidence in the future.