Tips for psychologists: what to do if your husband cheats on you

This terrible word is treason. For many women, it is tantamount to a sentence: betrayal of a loved one, broken hopes, a family collapse ... The first reaction is usually a shock and devastation. Then comes anger, resentment and ... confusion. How to live on and what do you do when you learned that your husband has changed you on the other? Psychologists in this case recommend not to arrange a rapid clarification of relations and refrain from reproaches, as they contribute to the incandescence of an already explosive atmosphere. Do not lose sight of the rich female imagination: perhaps nothing special has happened. Husband returned from a business trip and you noticed something is wrong with him? But changes take place in us every day. It's just that we live side by side, the changes are gradual and not so noticeable for us. In this regard, it is necessary to ask again and again: "Is there really a real reason for experiencing?" Besides, if there was something, think: after all, we are not angels. There could be a provocative situation, influenced by the recent quarrel in the family. Someone wanted to prove that he is capable of a desperate act or decided to change the spite, in protest.

My husband changed - what to do: advice of a psychologist
Suppose that now in the first place there is only one desire: to bring the husband to clean water. But are there many women who admit to themselves that they are able to withstand, without nervous breakdown, an honest and frank story of a loved one about his "amorous adventures"? Will it be easier for you both?

Before you go to such an open, direct conversation, carefully weigh what mistakes could be made while communicating with her husband. Treason can testify that your family is going through one of the most difficult periods of its development.

Think about what you will do when you hear reproaches from your husband about yourself, claims that may have accumulated in him for years. One of the causes of betrayal is life in an emotionally impoverished environment. Perhaps your husband does not have enough understanding. Are you ready to face this truth?

It's hardly worth talking to your husband about another woman, even if you have the certainty that she exists. Talk about yourself, about him, about your family, about future plans for a joint life.

Be prepared for the fact that if the husband confesses to treason, the desired relief may not come. In this case your reactions can be numerous. Many women come to a "suicidal" decision to deny their husbands intimacy, continuing to live with him in the same apartment. They can not step over their pride and turn life into hell, not only for themselves, but for all who are in touch with them.

You can blame your husband all your life, but think, can you become happier or even less unhappy with this? It will be a revenge to yourself, and such "pride" does not exalt you, but rather humiliates. "To hate is the most difficult and most disgusting chain that one person can relate to himself, because the rings of this chain are impregnated with anger and fear," wrote the Italian thinker Nicolo Hugo Foscolo.

If you feel that you have focused so much on resentment from the betrayal of your husband that it's hard for you to think about something else, you should probably turn to psychologists and psychotherapists.

But in any case, you have a choice that a woman can make herself. Try to forgive your husband and never again remind him of what happened with or without cause. But just do not play nobility, be sincere in your desire to forgive. In the end, what just does not happen in life, what kind of mistakes we do not make. Mankind throughout its history struggles to solve the problem: where the freedom of one person ends and the unfreedom of the other begins. Surely in your life you can find many different "sins". Think about what your personal qualities prevent the creation of a trusting, open atmosphere in the family. Maybe then it will be easier for you to look at the situation from the other side.

Most of these recommendations refer to a situation of short-term treason. The situation is different in the case when treason lasts a long time and turns into a double life. If this happens, then only you and your husband can decide how to further develop your family. The main thing is to remember that life can give many more ways out of situations, at first glance, hopeless. If you feel that you are not yet able to forgive and look for the right way to develop relationships, you can try some new forms of communication with your husband. Perhaps, he lacks emotional warmth or you need more frank communication.

In any case, even if it comes to a break, it is important to understand that you always have the opportunity to assert yourself in life, even without the help and support of an unfaithful husband.