One of the most common problems that people face when remarrying is considered to be jealousy of the child from the first marriage. First of all, this jealousy is connected not only with the child, but also with the relationship of the husband with the ex-wife and part-time mother of this child. Here you can also relate the difficulties in the relationship of the second wife with the child of her husband from the first marriage.
Second spouses often can not share the attention of a man and his free time between him and a child from a previous marriage. This is precisely what makes women jealous of a child from their first marriage. Whatever you say, a big part of the negative in this situation goes to the child, because the kid very often becomes an "apple of discord" in a new family.
How to overcome jealousy and maintain friendly relations with the child?
You should consciously accept the fact that in order to preserve your marriage and win the absolute favor of a loved one, you must with special patience and tolerance treat your stepson / stepdaughter. This is the main key to your family life without trouble. Remember that a truly loving woman is able to accept her husband along with previous marital unions and, accordingly, children from them. If the second wife can not accept the past of her loved one and conceals a feeling of jealousy for this past (it is a question of the child), then she does not accept the man himself.
How correctly to behave in relation to the ex-wife and child of the husband from the first marriage?
It is always worth remembering that the ex-wife of a beloved man does not have to worry about the psychological well-being of the current wife. She lives her life and the feelings of her second wife are bypassed. She may be in the depths of her soul as a woman and can take into account the fact of jealousy on your part, but she certainly will not give up on her, forbidding her ex-husband to communicate with the child.
If you are very jealous of a child, then in the opinion of psychologists, you in some way feel a sense of guilt. After all, the ex-spouse in this situation is a victim, and you at her expense and the account of their common child base their relationship. You should reconsider your position and approach this issue with responsibility and respect.
Resign yourself to the fact that the ex-wife and your husband have all the rights to communicate and raise their co-child. From this you can not escape. In addition, your spouse is doing this in order to preserve the well-being of the child. The ex-wife as well as the child have the full right to call in your house and share with your father about what is happening, and if necessary even ask for help, both spiritual and material. Patience and understanding are the main words that should replace the absurd jealousy.
We create our healthy family without feeling jealous
If you want your family to be strong and happy, never bother your husband about your feelings of jealousy about the child from the first marriage and, especially, the ex-wife. Keep it all the way to yourself, because excessive clarification of the relationship on this topic can completely undermine the marriage. A man will never love his child less than you and it is worth remembering.
Do not limit the communication of the husband with the baby from the first marriage. Try in every way to establish a good communication with the child, but just communication, and not coaxing with the help of gifts. There are cases when the ex-wife herself forbids the communication of the child with the new woman in the life of the father. But, as a rule, this is actual in the first year after the divorce.
And to fix the topic, remember that a man who, for the sake of the present wife, is able to stop communicating with the child from a previous marriage, is a dependent and weak person. Not the fact that the time will come, and you will not feel it on yourself. It is good and normal when a man in a second marriage cares for children from a previous marriage and has a well-established friendly communication with an ex-spouse.
And if you already have common children, do not insist that they are more important than the first. It is not in your right to demand that your children take this place. The pope should be able to communicate as well as with children from the first union, and with your joint.