In the minds of people, the opinion was established that a happy marriage can only be with the presence of children. A childless marriage is considered to be not very successful. These prejudices were characteristic of the old times. Nowadays many men and women solve this issue independently, without regard for traditions. Moreover, some psychologists began to argue that many childless marriages contribute to the extension of the youth of the couple.
People should try to be honest with themselves. If a married couple does not feel ready to raise children, then the couple must decide for themselves which version of the family suits them. It is not necessary to listen to the opinion of relatives, friends, neighbors and authorities in various areas of life, even the most recognized and respected.
We live in a time when people realize the benefits of childless marriages. What are they?
It is believed that children strengthen the relationship of husband and wife. This is not always the case, and sometimes with the birth of the child, the relationship simply worsens. In a family of two people, real feelings of affection and love do not need additional "props". In such a family are responsible only for themselves and for a loved one. To him and attitude, as a favorite child. And what's wrong with that? Living for each other, people enjoy life.
Is it selfishness? Of course, selfishness. And who is not selfish? How often children are random, or even simply undesirable. Unexpected pregnancy breaks all plans, which many are not happy. Raising children, women (who mostly do it) get tired, do not get enough sleep, get irritated. This is reflected in the children. On the street you can often meet a woman who screams at the screaming child, and even spanks him, so that he finally "shut up". Many mothers believe that they have invested so much "strength, nerves and resources in the birth and upbringing of the child that he" owes "them to the coffin of life. It's not uncommon, when mothers reason about the way that she raised a child, and, having grown up, now he is obliged to take care of her.
Of course, good children never give up their parents. But such arguments also look like selfishness, and even calculation. Unfortunately, even maternal love in a disinterested version is rare (like any other unselfish love).
In this regard, another aspect of the relationship between the spouses is important. Not every man is happy about the appearance of a child, because his wife, naturally, switches all his attention to him. This affects the husband, besides, he often observes changes in the bad side and appearance, and the nature of the wife, which also does not add to her love. True, we must admit that such a situation still occurs in families who were not really ready for the birth of a new life. Then the question arises of parental responsibility. But that is another topic.
From this point of view, one can respect the courage of a couple who honestly abandoned children, showing that not the number of children is important (how many are they, abandoned or unhappy with living parents?), But the responsibility of parents for children. After all, raising children inevitably requires sacrifice. And if there is no inclination to sacrifice, then it is better to give up breeding. Man is not an animal, he can quite and solve these issues from the standpoint of reason and morality.
Of course, those people who do not think their family without children deserve respect and encouragement.
But also those who think differently, should not be condemned. It happens that childless marriage is the result of illness of one of the spouses. Then, instead of suffering from this, the spouses choose a quiet life without children. Many of them do not dare even for adoption, which is also a huge responsibility.
Often a psychological problem is a conscious desire to have children to keep up with others, and unwillingness at an unconscious level. If such a person leads children, then they will be unhappy children, because they are unwanted.
Thus, we survived to a civilized time, when you can, without looking at others, choose their own style of family life. Childless marriage or marriage with children have both merits and demerits. Just need to be honest about what you need and follow your own nature.