Parental "no": how to deny a child, strengthening its authority

Prohibitions are a difficult topic for many parents. Failure usually means a conflict - explicit or hidden - which often ends in tears, hysterics, disobedience and the whims of the beloved child. Mom and Dad try desperately to agree, cause to understanding, reproach in indifference and even go for blackmail - but often it is useless. What - leave everything as is? Child psychologists insist that it is necessary to say "no", but it's worth doing it right.

Be consistent. Stability is the axiom with which it is difficult to argue. The position of the parent must remain firm, then the child will be considered with it. Having said the definitive "no" once, do not confuse the baby - it is much easier for him to accept one permanent refusal than dozens of volatile decisions.

Monitor the situation. An adult is always confident in himself and in his prohibition - that's why he voices him calmly and benevolently. Increased voice, irritability, unnecessary emotions, fury, aggression - a sign of weakness. You can be afraid of them, but you can hardly respect them. Try to always behave with restraint, the child understands internal contradictions much better than it seems to adults.

Do not provoke. It happens that the childish whims - not a pampering or an attempt to attract attention, but a real uprising against injustice. A ruthless and bereft system of prohibitions is the best way to raise an unruly child. Remember: "I said so" and "because I'm an adult" - unconvincing arguments in favor of refusal. "I understand how you want it, but no, because ..." sounds much better.