In their development, the boys go through three main stages.
The first stage covers the period from birth to 6 years: the age at which the boy has the most developed psychological connection with the mother. This "her" boy, even if the role of the father in the life of the child is also great. The goal of education in this period is to transfer to the boy a great love and a sense of complete security.
The second stage lasts from 6 to 14 years. During this period the boy learns to be a man, looks to his father, to his interests and actions. The goals of education during this period: raising the level of knowledge, the development of creative abilities. Do not forget about kindness and sincerity - that is, try to grow a harmonious personality.
In the third period - from 14 to the age of majority - the boy needs an example of a male teacher. Parents go into the background, but they must provide the son of a worthy mentor, so that his place is not occupied by an incompetent peer. The goal of education at this stage is to teach responsibility and self-esteem, actively involving the adolescent in adulthood. The main criteria for choosing a teacher should be safety and sincerity.
These stages do not have sudden transitions or abrupt changes under the influence of one of the parents. The best option if the parents jointly take an active part in the education and training of the son from birth to adulthood. Stages only show a change of emphasis. Let's consider each stage separately.
Gentle years (from birth to 6 years)
Babies are the same in the main: whether it's a girl or a boy (it's not important either to the baby or his parents), they all love when they are often taken up, play with them, they like to observe the world around them. During this period of life, it is necessary for the child to feel a connection with at least one person. Usually it's Mom.
Some differences between boys and girls are revealed from birth. Boys perceive touch to a lesser degree than girls. Boys grow faster, play more actively, more acutely perceive separation from mother. In the garden, boys usually ignore the newcomers, and the girls, on the contrary, notice them and make friends.
Unfortunately, adults often treat boys more severely. Studies show that girls are hugged more often, even in non-verbal age. Boys are more often and more painfully punished. Studies show that boys are less tolerant of separation, because boys should stay at home until the age of three. Crèche does not suit them. Boys often show signs of emotional stress from a sense of abandonment and uselessness, as a result, aggressiveness and unhealthy anxiety that turns into neurosis may develop. A similar model persists in some families and in school.
Cognition of courage (from 6 to 13)
Approximately from 6 years with boys, an important change is beginning to occur. Within them, courage begins to awaken. Boys who watch TV for a long time, suddenly become interested in weapons, dream of a superman costume, fight and fights, play noisy games. There is also something more important, characteristic for all cultures: at about the age of six, boys begin to gravitate towards members of the male family - father, grandfather, elder brother. They constantly want to be near a man, learn from him something, copy his actions, imitate everything.
If during this period the father will ignore the child of the boy, he can produce even inadequate actions, if only to draw his attention. It is during this period that child theft, enuresis, or disgusting behavior in school can begin (sometimes all at once). However, this change of interests does not mean that the mother is leaving. The mother should not move away from her son, as this can convince the boy that the feelings associated with the mother - love and tenderness - bring pain. He will put on a curtain and then it will be difficult for him to express warmth and tenderness towards someone. Emotional closure in the aftermath is very difficult to win.
From boy to man (from 14 to adulthood)
Around the age of 14, a new stage of maturation begins. At this time, the boys are significantly stretched in growth, many changes are also taking place in the body: an increase in the testosterone level exceeds 800%! Although everything is individual, there is something common at this age: boys become more stubborn, restless, there is a frequent change of mood. This is how the birth of a new person takes place, and birth always goes through struggle.
A teenager hormones and physically aspire to the adult world, and we unconsciously (and often consciously) want to keep him in his childhood for a few more years, forgetting about proper upbringing. It's no surprise that it is during this period that problems arise. At this age, it is necessary to raise the spirit of the teenager, to direct it to creativity, to give the opportunity to unfold the wings. All the troubles - alcohol, drugs, crime - come from the fact that children do not find a way out for teenage thirst for heroism and glory. Any civilization did on adolescent boys and their upbringing special emphasis. In ancient cultures, knowledge is stored that parents are not able to educate adolescent boys without the help of outsiders. Traditionally, adolescents were guarded by adult men who taught them military science and craft.
A teenager of fourteen or sixteen is not ready to stand alone with the world of adults. He needs teachers. Persistent adolescents do not always obey their parents. Teacher is another matter. A teenager appreciates him, wants to be like him. The main task of the teacher is to save the teenager from fatal mistakes. Parents should take care of choosing a worthy teacher. They may be one of your friends. He must lead intimate conversations with your son, discuss the events. Ideally, a teenager becomes a welcome guest in his home, then the teacher can, if necessary, "clear his brains" guy, and he will be able to cry in his vest.
The Five Commandments of the Boy Child Raising Education
1. Start education as early as possible. Participate in caring for a child from birth - it disciplines and changes priorities. This will help you tune in to one wave with your son.
2. Find time to talk heart to heart. If the father always disappears at work, it will negatively affect the children.
3. Do not hold back emotions. Children can and should be hugged. Combine noisy games with calm communication.
4. Rejoice in the achievements of your sons. If you only spend time with them because of guilt or a duty, there will not be any benefit. Find things that you both like.
5. Do not forget about discipline. Establish norms for the child of the boy must be firmly and calmly, without physical punishment. Be sure to listen to the child and consider his interests.