Everyone experiences the news about the future replenishment of the family in their own way. Someone is happy and crying with happiness, holding a cherished test with two strips, someone is upset and angry, they say, not on time, someone is hiding and does not show his emotions, because he does not immediately understand what happened. And something great happened, no matter how pathetic it sounds. Great, because from the moment of conception through your life, a line that divided it for a while before and after has passed. And now everything will be different - the responsibility for the new person, as a rule, leaves an imprint on both the character and attitude to life. And do not be afraid of it, everything is natural, everything goes according to plan. And all will be well!
I am pregnant!
It does not matter whether you were preparing for pregnancy or it was a surprise for you, its offensive is a real stress for a woman. By the number of changes - in the way of life, and in thinking - the expectation of the baby beats all records. Neither marriage nor the change of work or apartment does not affect a woman so deeply and is not experienced by her as comprehensively as the news that she will soon become a mother. It's like if you suddenly suddenly took over and moved to a permanent place of residence in another country that is unfamiliar to you. Psychologists not without reason call the first trimester the period of adoption of a child. Yes, to take a baby in your life, it may take several weeks. And all because ahead looms the specter of the future, in which you do not know what awaits you. Perhaps the key word here is just "unknown" - hence the worries and fears: Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to give birth to a healthy child? How will the birth of the baby affect my relationship with my husband? Will we be able to provide the child with everything we need?
Your excitement is understandable and justified, the main thing is not to wind yourself up, but to solve problems as you enter. And start with ... talking or writing to your child.
This will help you to create a psychological preparation of pregnant women for childbirth, and also accept and reconcile with the idea that the child already is, he is already with you. Talk to him, as if it were your close and all understanding friend. You look, and the toxicosis will pass. What is the relationship between toxicosis and acceptance? Scientists are still arguing about the causes of toxicosis of the first trimester. Yes, it seems to be a reaction to the "alien genetic material", which is your baby, because he carries in himself and daddy a part that at the level of the organism is perceived by you as an alien element. But why then do some women have no toxicosis at all, weeks spend in an embrace with a "white friend"? Some psychologists say that the manifestations of toxicosis are directly related to the adoption of pregnancy. In other words, toxicosis at the physical level manifests doubts, anxieties and the woman's uncertainty that she is ready for what is happening. And this is normal.
Everyone has their own reasons for concern. And you need to try to calm down and come to terms with yourself. First, to admit that the baby is already there, the pregnancy will not "resolve", which means that it's worth settling down and relaxing, after all .Negative emotions do not solve anything, only spoil the mood. Secondly, think about what will change in your life and why it frightens you.Write in the column the pros and cons of the appearance of the baby in your family, describe the problems and ways to solve them, for example, I'm afraid that there will not be enough money, so my husband and I decided to save money from every salary on the birth of a baby and the first few months Believe me, there are no deadlock problems, it's just, perhaps, while you are frightened of them, you do not see how you can cope with them.
Often it is financial instability that causes the greatest fear during the psychological preparation of pregnant women for childbirth. And the popular phrase "God gave the child, he will give and what to feed him" somehow does not soothe everyone. Probably, because it is the "food" that does not occupy such a big expense in caring for the child. Nourish just, the more baby a baby, there is always something to eat. And you start counting everything else - deliveries, diapers, baby carriages, clothes-shoes, pediatrician's services, nannies, development centers, after all, and it's time to grab your head.
Prices are rising day by day, inflation is off scale, and the state's assistance can not be called so tangible. Count only on yourself. And it's not so wrong, because the child is your husband and not the state. If we think in terms of "stably unstable", humanity would have died out long ago, believe me, at all times - in the history of countries and individuals - there is an occasion to consider them unsuitable for the birth of children. So now, do not give birth? Of course, give birth.
But do not wait for the weather at the sea, hoping that one of the sunny days you will fall on an inheritance from my uncle, who will solve all the problems. We need to take action if, of course, you have not taken care of it yet. Begin to postpone now, even if it seems to you that what you can postpone is a penny. Probably, very soon this kopeck will not be enough for you. Sit down with your husband and write out the financial plan for the coming months, think about where you can save, and where you can not save money, where you can even earn extra money, which of the upcoming expenses are really needed, and without which you can do without. By the way, cares for the daily bread, as a rule, the vulnerable place of men, which beats the news of a woman's pregnancy. In other words, if a woman, thinking about her baby, is frightened: "Will I be a good mother?", The man is going through: "Can I support the family?". And in any other way, in fact, in addition to increasing the family's expenses, you will also have maternity leave, which means - minus your salary from the family budget. The financial burden falls on the shoulders of a man. But do not make this a tragedy. All is surmountable, there would be a desire.
Before you start saving, it would be nice to have a tradition of counting expenses. Sometimes scrupulous counting of all spending for a month or two leads the couple to an amazing discovery that a lot of money flows away like sand through fingers, nowhere and no matter what. It turns out, and you do not need to save much, you just need to "filter" spending, cutting back the article of unforeseen expenses and momentary "Wishlist".
In addition, not everything that you consider necessary, you really need. For example, a cot with a joint sleep with parents does not need a baby, and instead of a stroller you can buy a fashionable sling recently, which is several times cheaper. Do not want to abandon these items of toddler household? Ask among friends who have small children. Surely they have a lot of what they already need, and you just right. And they themselves will be happy if you deliver them (for free or for a nominal fee) from these things.
Knowledge and ignorance
If the knowledge is plus, then fears are negative: the better the future mother understands what is happening to her now and will happen in the future (during childbirth, in the first months of life crumbs), the less doubt and anxiety. Of course, pregnancy is not a disease, and to give birth, you do not have to finish the medical institute, but elementary psychological and physical training should be. Do not rely on chance, so you put yourself at risk. But you can, by enlisting the support of nature and your own health, help yourself. Childbirth is hard work for both mother and baby, but it's not a nightmare nightmare, as other mummies sometimes describe, by the way, as a rule, those who were not ready for their own kind, therefore, went through pain and The instructors in the preparation for childbirth assure that you can give birth without pain!
Only you need to know how. And at the courses for young parents, this is taught: breathing practices, techniques of not medication analgesia - here mums master the postures for fights, the basics of self-massage, they are introduced to the stages of childbirth and what happens at each stage. It's much easier to control yourself and your body when you know what, why and why. Teaching in such schools is usually divided into theoretical and practical classes, and thematically blocks are divided into lectures on pregnancy, childbirth and care for a newborn baby.