And we are not protected from contradictory, complex and intricate family relationships? Relations between close relatives are an important topic of the day today.
Just the facts
Alas, ah, but otherwise, apparently, will not work - willy-nilly we find ourselves involved in this conflict of fathers and children, the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law ... But how else? If we are so worried about the fate of the heroes of television series, then the bride of the son is simply an inexhaustible theme for endless experiences, tears, prophecies and disputes. Statistics are sad: more than 60% of marriages fall apart not without the participation of mothers-in-law, mother-in-law, gilded and trusted, but, of course, mothers are in the lead. Mothers of the groom and mother of the bride, that is, mother-in-law and mother-in-law. They are injecting these percentages between their blood and "this" or "this", who came from outside with a different charter in their quiet and settled "monastery".
Wisdom of the elders
There are happy families where relatives of spouses, even if they do not like too much the acquired "daughter" or "son", are respected and considered with their opinion. In principle, this is quite enough, but how to come to such an equilibrium? We always wait for wisdom and justice from those who are older. Psychologists are sure: in those families where the future mother-in-law did not enter the relationship of her child with the opposite sex from the very beginning, but pursued a policy of delicate observation, there are no more intrigues, ugly quarrels and conflicts afterwards. And not only because clever mothers and after the wedding of their children remained "indifferent" to their lives, but because they directed their child's actions in the right direction. I fell in love, for example, with a son in a girl who does not suit his parents from any positions. And what does the perspiring mother do? It does not begin an open struggle - in this case it is not just useless, but also dangerous: a rebellious spirit will wake up in the son, he will do everything contrary to the desires and will of the parents, and the situation will get out of their control. A forward-looking parent, above all, tries to talk peacefully with her son and find out his plans. And at the same time correctly express your point of view on this situation. There are only two options for the development of further events: either the son will share his mother's beliefs, or she will not agree. And then it is necessary to understand that it is useless to continue fighting, we will have to reckon with his choice and his second half. You want happiness for your child?
Peaceful coexistence
But here Mendelssohn's march played, and severe weekdays came. With the mothers of adult children, metamorphoses begin to occur: if before they dreamed that the marriage of their child was happy and long, then after registering with the registry office, 70% of the mother-in-law begin to hope for an early termination of this union. It's often not a question of giving your growing and married "kid" the opportunity to plan your own destiny. Well, he's still so small and trusting! Family quarrels and strife can lead very far. And a young wife should think about how not to bring the situation to the point of absurdity, that is, before the divorce. To do this, we need to find out what, in fact, guides the mother-in-law, and apply the appropriate tactics.
Variety of species
If the mother-in-law or mother-in-law is a dictator and considers it her duty to observe and analyze every minute of the family life of her child, it is better to immediately establish the boundaries of relations, making it clear that such intrusive intervention does not suit you. Initially, the relationship may worsen, but then they will accept a level and comfortable to you character. If your husband's mother does not for one minute care about her precious and everywhere puts her nose, try not to be offended. Take her attention with thanks. Fortunately, such a mother is usually easy to dose, she falls in love with flattery and accepts the assurances of love and indispensability at face value. There is another option: his mother always complains about the lack of care on your part, she always hurts something, and the "ambulance" is on duty at her door. This is a typical emotional blackmail and you lost if you immediately succumbed to it. With such a "mother" you need to behave strictly and calmly. As with a child. Otherwise, you can drown in the sea of her tears and spoil the relationship with her husband, who is sure that his mother can not lie. There are mothers-in-law - such "adventurers" in the life of their daughter-in-law. They dig in their bags and desk drawers, overhear telephone conversations and carefully study the color of dirt on street shoes. Fighting them is almost impossible, they will become even more cautious and more dangerous for your family union. It makes sense in an ironic form to tell this to her husband, who probably knows about Mom's oddities.
Be kinder
Well, the future spouses, who together with their beloved, also acquire a whole bouquet of his relatives, you can advise to be more reserved and kinder. Leave it simple, it's hard to do. It's hard to love someone else's mother who does not like you. But even a dog stops barking at a tree that just swayed in the wind. Now, swing, without hearing or feeling what you do not want to hear or feel. Avoid unpleasant conversations, do not utter words that can destroy what you have built with such love. And no matter how old you are, be smarter and more just. To be jealous of the husband to his mother is a dead end. Therefore, let her love him with all her might, and remain her only and unique, remembering that the night cuckoo always perekukuet day. Break the attitude to yourself of your "new mother" and become with her allies, it's easy to do, you just need not claim her holy place in his life, but do not let her into your territory.