Psychotherapists are convinced - we do not have extra pounds at all. We start to type superfluous because of complexes, as the, and people surrounding us. And especially in full people, complexes in the sexual sphere are manifested. What are these complexes, why they appear and how to deal with them?
Most often, problems in the intimate sphere for full people arise because of the notorious inferiority complex. Complexes relating to sex and intima, as a rule, have a negative emotional color. Emotions, arising even from one at the thought of sexual intimacy, can cause fear, confusion, association with dissatisfaction and sinfulness of the action. Because of this complex, a person can experience negative not only in the sexual sphere - influence can be provided on his life as a whole.
Often complexes on sexual grounds are observed in people who are overweight. And there is nothing surprising in this: if you do not meet the standards accepted in society, it can complicate intimate communication. In this case, there are only two ways out: either you sit on a diet and drive yourself and your body to a more or less appropriate frame, or accept yourself as you are in your present body.
Of course, it's great if a person feels comfortable with a large figure and does not worry about it. However, for a long time this can not continue and difficulties in communicating with the opposite sex will still take place. While making love in bed, you will not be two, but three: your partner, you and your excess weight, creating an uncomfortable state and giving inconvenience in intimate relationships. You just imagine how difficult it is to take any pose when one girth of your foot is bigger than the waist of an average girl. And when a mountain of fat hits you, even in a soft bed - pleasure is not a pleasant one.
From sexual complexes can suffer from representatives of both sexes. But often it happens, when because of the intimate complexes of a man more negative emotions go to his partner. Such complexes were classified and named after the names of famous heroes and historical characters.
Complex of Don Quixote
A man can imagine himself a noble knight in glittering armor, who admires the beloved lady of the heart. First, for a full woman, this may even be a plus, if she becomes an object of worship. The man at first will not pay attention to the shortcomings of her figure, showering the lady with compliments only. But often his attitude towards a woman changes dramatically: he suddenly notices that his woman is not at all ideal and there is no trace of past love. As a consequence, the gentleman not only understands disappointment (it's only him who is to blame: he had to look at the woman with a sober look from the very beginning), but also causes a significant trauma to his former lover - she did not change, but for some reason they stopped wishing to give compliments. So, against this background, in almost a hundred percent of cases a lady may have an inferiority complex, even if she did not even have it before.
The Don Juan Complex (Don Juanism)
Donorism occurs in those men who are not confident in their sexual abilities. But to take place and feel like a real man, he tries to seduce as many women as possible. The main goal for him is to get sex with a lady, and after a night of love, his interest in a partner abruptly disappears. The woman does not understand what happened, why the man to her so sharply cooled and begins to look for reasons in themselves, is engaged in self-digging and in the final result this leads to the appearance of uncertainties and complexes associated with his appearance.
Often, the complex of Don Juan is manifested in fat men, because extra pounds and bloated body do not contribute to increasing women's attention to his person. Thick men do not look sexy in the eyes of women. And this, by the way, is a well-founded scientific explanation: excessive fat prevents the development of sex hormones. And if there are few male hormones, then the behavior of such a representative of the stronger sex is not male. That's trying to such a "bun" drag in bed as many girls as possible to prove that he is "a man".
Macho Complex
This complex is very similar to the previous one. A man with a macho complex also tries to demonstrate to everyone that he is "a real man, a brutal male", so he can be deliberately rude, on business and without using a different vocabulary for nothing, showing his masculine appearance with all his appearance. The second half of such an individual is not sweet. She should be absolutely perfect for him, blow off dust particles and be three in one: a mistress in bed, a maid in the house and a war friend in society. And if a woman has imperfections in a figure (for example, she has recovered greatly after giving birth), then a barrage of unconstructive criticism and even aggression on the part of a man may be discussed. The very same man with a macho complex can very acutely perceive his failures in bed (and as already mentioned, they can be associated with his excess weight), which, of course, only spoils everyone's life.
Romeo Complex
When an ardent Romeo man falls in love (usually at a glance), he begins to idealize his Juliet and does not notice any flaws in her. If his girl suddenly abruptly recovered, then he can completely part with it on this basis. Naturally, a woman will be very painful to experience such a break and the development of complexes to her in this case is guaranteed.
There are a couple of varieties of the inferiority complex in the sexual sphere in men:
- a complex of a small member (by the way, it can appear simply because of the discrepancy between the physical proportions of partners). In this case, the man fears that he will be laughed at, and does not go into contact with women;
- complex Quasimodo. A man considers himself completely unattractive for women (and true, if he looks like a hippopotamus, it is difficult to talk about attractiveness). In general, whatever one may say, and to improve or improve the sex life, it is necessary to deal decisively with excess weight.