The issue of loss of virginity can be treated in different ways. But we must admit that this is important. And I want everything to go fine, romantic and without unpleasant consequences. To avoid unnecessary tears and tragedies, one should not give his fate to the disposal of only spiritual impulses and animal instincts. The share of healthy cynicism here does not hurt. The first sexual experience poses not only psychological, but also medical problems. They should be thought out in advance.
Fear.
Universal advice: if it's scary, then you do not have to. Wait until the desire becomes the dominant feeling. And fears analyze:
A. Fear of appearing inexperienced. Actually, if you are 15-18 years old, then no one special expects "experience". On the contrary, knowing that the girl is innocent, the man will be more attentive and cautious. At a later age, girls begin to complex seriously, are afraid (often justifiably) that their innocence will be perceived by a man as "useless." Well, do not admit anything! The most important in this case is to maximize the period of courtship. Reduce your sexual relationship to petting (he allows any kisses and caresses, but without the contact of the genitals). Thus, you will have time to study your man in detail, to understand what gives him pleasure. He will "learn" what excites you. And finally decided to "go to bed", do not focus on "this", take up the familiar and pleasant petting. Then everything will be solved by itself: the instinct will work. And the sweet loss of virginity is assured to you.
B. The fear of being abandoned. At first the girl is afraid that the guy will leave her if he does not get what he wants. Then - that he will quit, because he has already received everything he wanted. This is justified fear. And if the relationship is built on it, then it's better to stop them yourself (even better it will be abandoned).
C. Fear of pain. We'll talk about this below.
Pain and blood.
By itself, fear can provoke pain. The girl internally "contracts", there is a spasm of muscles - and this is what creates painful sensations during sexual intercourse. To relieve spasms, to relax the muscles and nerves are often recommended to get rid of virginity in a warm bath. Apparently, this advice was written off from some European textbooks. In the typical baths of domestic production, only experienced lovers can have sex. Beginners also risk getting additional injuries. How painful will be defloration (rupture of the hymen) depends on the partner. He should have either a great experience of communication with you, or just a great experience: after all, a man should not just "relax", but also how to excite a partner. Only then sexual intercourse will be "like clockwork".
Pose of great importance does not, but from a psychological point of view, it will be easier for a girl to be in an absolutely passive, "missionary" pose (from below, facing the partner).
If after the first sexual contact the pain does not pass for a long time (more than a week), if within three days the bleeding does not stop, then you should consult a doctor. In any case, until soreness and spotting have disappeared, it is not recommended to repeat sexual acts.
Do not wait a full week if the pain is very severe or accompanied by fever. Especially if there was pain in the lower abdomen. After all, even the very first and most beloved man can turn out to be unscrupulous. Perhaps you are infected.
Condoms and pills.
A condom is the best protection against infection. Virgins hesitate of condoms. Boys do not know how to wear them, but they are afraid to admit it. Girls, for some reason, are afraid that a condom will prevent the hymen from breaking or additional painful sensations.
It's just the opposite! Condoms dull the pain because they are coated with a special lubricant that facilitates gliding. Defloration, they do not interfere, because in this process, not important is the condom itself, but the sexual organ that is dressed in it.
Care should be taken even if both partners are innocent. Absolute confidence in each other excludes the risk of catching infections that are sexually transmitted. But it will not save you from pregnancy. The best thing to do in this case is to take the combined hormonal contraceptives well in advance.
Remember that the doctor must select the pill! When you are prescribed funds that you need to take from the first day of menstruation, then in ten days you can say "yes" to your man. If the pills are to be taken from the fifth day, then with "love" you have to wait about a month - until the next menstrual cycle. It is better to go all the way to the end, even if during this time you broke up, and there was no sexual intimacy. If you interrupt for objective reasons taking pills, then in just two or three days, unplanned menstruation will begin.
If you have not quarreled, but just decided to delay "intimate meetings" for a while - you can start the next packing of contraceptives on time according to the instructions. It's not harmful.
Harmful is the so-called postcoital, or "fire" contraception. And yet it is less evil than abortion. These tablets (as a rule, they can be obtained only from a doctor, in pharmacies only "postinor" is sold) contain a very high dose of hormones and can even lead to dysfunction of the ovaries.
As a fire contraceptive, you can use conventional contraceptives according to the following scheme:
Take immediately two tablets of Demulen, Rigevidona or Triziston. Or 4 tablets of Marvelona, Mersilon or Femodena.
After 12 hours, repeat the same dose. Do it no later than 72 hours after unprotected intercourse.
Menstruation should begin on time or a little earlier. In case of delay for at least 1 day, please consult a doctor - it may be that the pregnancy has come.
Regular and correct intake of microdosed contraceptives guarantees almost 100% protection.
Time to start.
In Soviet times, the age at which sexual activity began was defined quite clearly: from 18 years of age it is possible to marry, that is, from the age of 18 you can begin to have sex. This figure is due not only to moral, but also medical factors.
The hymen is an anatomical formation that performs a protective function. Millions of years women have been deflorated and, nevertheless, in the process of evolution plevatak and not atrophied. It's silly to assume that nature preserves it only so that the man would ask himself: "Is it the first or not the first?" The hymen is a natural barrier to infections while the protective microflora in the vagina has not completely formed. In addition, girls have a very thin epithelium of the vaginal walls. It can easily be traumatized from mechanical friction during intercourse. Consequences can lead to the development of inflammatory processes, against which hormonal disorders, and adhesions of internal organs, and even infertility can arise.
Strangely enough, the other extreme - too late onset of sexual activity - has no catastrophic consequences. There are many cases where women lost their virginity at the age of 27, 30, 36, became pregnant and gave birth safely. Problems can arise because of the fact that virgins rarely visit a gynecologist, without seeing it necessary. It is not right. Preventive examination should be done at least once a year.