The desire to marry a rich man


All the girls dream of a prince. This is an axiom. But only more and more women understand this expression literally and are hungry for "half a kingdom in addition". Sometimes the desire to marry a rich man completely captures the woman's soul. And here it is not up to love, romance and morality ...

Cinderella Syndrome

According to the Institute of Comprehensive Social Research (ICSI), 65% of Russian women want to marry a rich man. This characteristic, like "consistency", stands on the honorable third place (after the mind and kindness) in the list of requirements for a potential spouse. 40% of all visitors to the largest Russian dating site openly admit that they are not looking for a friend, lover or husband, namely the sponsor. The themes "I want to be a kept woman", "How to become a wife of an oligarch" are actively discussed in women's forums. It's telling, is not it?

Psychologists call this "Cinderella syndrome" and offer such girls to try to understand themselves, sociologists explain this phenomenon by echoes of hungry post-perestroika times, antiglobalists prefer to look for everything in the West's harmful influence, and young (and not so) creatures continue to share with each other on the Internet their dreams: "I really want to meet Him - rich and famous, only with Him I will be happy."

Hunting for a Millionaire

Firmly decided to take everything from life, the girls in amicable ranks go to trainings for seduction, courses on the psychology of oligarchs and even give their modest savings to "special matchmakers". Natalia M., engaged in the organization of the private life of poor girls, considers herself almost a modern mother Teresa. "I unite the hearts of the suffering." The rich - they are also people, only more afraid of making mistakes, but I select modest good girls. In the end everyone gets what he wants. " I must say, the services of an exclusive matchmaker are worth a lot - from $ 1000, so they still need to be accumulated.

"I want to live like in a movie: go to restaurants, buy expensive dresses, ride in beautiful cars. I myself will not achieve it. My mother worked all her life and could not save up even for a vacation in Turkey. That's why I'll lay down the bones, but I'll marry the oligarch. Do you see how beautiful my legs are? "Says Karina, 18. "What about love?" I ask. "Are you scoffing, yeah? Will not you love for prosperity? "

In the footsteps of "Beauty" ...

First, Anya, her parents brought up the same way as all the good girls of our country - dancing, music school, a foreign language. But one day she saw the movie "Pretty Woman" and ... "I never made any conscious choice: now, I will marry exactly by calculation, and not for love. While I was at school, at the first courses of the institute, I did not think about marriage, marriage, etc. - I met guys, had sex, but I was not "ripped off" as they say now. Then I met Vadim - he was cute, sensitive, but not at all adapted to life. In parallel, I met Mitya - he was much older than me, not as charming as Vadim, but secured. And he immediately invited me to marry. He told me: "You must marry me, because Vadim is a weak person and simply can not give you what you deserve."

Mitya considered me to be a beauty and was very fond of bringing me to parties where his friends and colleagues were. I was required to remain silent and smile - and I was silent and smiling, remembering that we bought the dress in an expensive boutique specially for this evening. "

Anna did not conceal from herself that Mitya was outgoing, especially since her future spouse immediately warned her: "If you agree to become my wife, we will sign a marriage contract, and in the event of a divorce, you will not be left without a penny." According to Anna, Mitya really tried to become her close person, but deep sexual attachment between them did not arise. However, she does not worry: "In general, as psychologists say, libido is oppressed, I, except for a short frenzy with Vadim, calmly treat these cases. In the contract it was stipulated that adultery means an immediate divorce with a large property loss. But due to the fact that Mitya was in the house, it was immediately clear that the article of the contract was "one-sided". But I was not upset about this: I do not want to go anywhere. Here is my house, my garden, my kitchen, my child. "

The child became a very special point of the marriage contract. At Mitya's insistence, it was specifically stated in the document that the father would bear all the expenses for Kolya's maintenance, but that if the initiator of the divorce was Anna or her cause would be her betrayal, the child would stay with her father. "According to the law, the mother is more often the guardian of children during the divorce," Ana explained to the lawyer, "and in case of a conflict between the contract and the Family Code, the latter is applied." "But I decided not to take any chances," Anna says. - Mitya is a rich and influential person, to sue him - for sure to lose and leave the court with the stigma of an alcoholic or other socially dangerous subject. No, really. Better I will do everything according to his rules. "

Four weddings and one funeral

One way or another, but in life for all you have to pay. Not all Cinderella can stay on the pedestal for a long time. Unfortunately, the fairy tale about "Beauty" has another end. It is no accident that in our country there are more "former Rublyov wives". After all, being a wife of a millionaire is hard work. "I had no right to look bad, hurt, recover. Oleg every day put me on the scales and checked to see if I got fat, and if the shooter showed more than 48 kg, I had to starve for a whole week. I could not choose my own clothes or friends. Everything should have been approved by my husband. But that's still nothing: Oleg's friend for example, forced his girl to periodically restore the hymen. "So cool!" - he believed, "- shares again poor, but free girl of Light.

Millionaires have their own quirks and customs, and the "beautiful" life has its opposite side. It may very well happen that it will have to pay for it with love, friends, children and even health (after all, not all oligarchs are leading a "law-abiding" business).

Natasha was the fourth wife of Boris, but this did not bother her. "It seemed to me that I could definitely become for him a faithful friend for the rest of my life. It was not a marriage of convenience, or rather, not only in terms of calculation. In the beginning, I felt certain feelings for him, but constant infidelity I did. As soon as I married him, he stopped trying to pamper me, I just became furniture, part of the interior, but not a woman. No wonder that I had an affair with my swimming instructor. For two months I was really happy. However, all the secret becomes obvious. Someone from the drivers reported to us Bora, and I, as they say, whistled from the rich house. We were divorced at the time, and I was left in the street in one dress. The most terrible thing is that Max - my lover - was gone. I do not know what happened to him: no one says anything, all the doors are now closed to me. " ... Someone will say: she is to blame, someone will regret ... One way or another, but the tale of Cinderella is still a love story. And love - a sense of kinship and intimacy, a sense of true partnership - will not be replaced by a monetary calculation, or a crazy passion. Checked and proven by many generations of women who were happy in marriage. Ask at least your mom.

Psychologist's comment

Denis LUKYANOV, specialist on family and marriage issues

It is commonly believed that one must marry or marry only for love, and a marriage of convenience a priori is considered something slightly shameful and unethical, since it is always considered according to the primitive scheme "sex for money". However, this is not exactly and not always the case. Marriages are traditionally considered to be the most durable and lasting. People make their contribution to their union. Earlier it was

kalym and dowry, now - beauty, education, sociability, ability to provide a family, to give a sense of security. But another is bad. For example, one of the heroines of the article, Anna, admits that she has no attraction to her husband, nor a desire to build their personal (not family!) Life. In the future, such relationships are fraught with neuroses on the part of women and the dissatisfaction of both. The spouse may at some point break, go "in all serious", compensating for life without love, without sexual gratification. In addition, a calmer but no less sad outcome is possible-depression, the "golden cell syndrome," when a woman has everything in a material sense, but life seems empty to her, because she can not make independent decisions and take risks.

Mercantile to the note.

If you are still dreaming of marrying a rich man and think that only a marriage with a wealthy gentleman will help solve all the problems, then you should ...

1. To think that, as a rule, the one who pays, that and orders music. If one of the partners brings in the house significantly more money than the other, then he has a controlling stake in ZAO "Family" and a decisive vote in everything. So forget that you will spend his money in your pleasure.

2. To be ready for the fact that you have to prove to your chosen one every day that you did not choose it because of the thickness of your wallet, but (of course) because of the unique combination of high men's qualities that you could not resist. Hardly 100% of rich, and especially very rich men are affected by this type of inferiority complex.

3. Do not be surprised when, due to constant tension, an incessant game, you will experience bursts of irritability or apathy, nervous breakdowns and depression. For all it is necessary to pay - unless this does not mean a concept "by calculation"? You have to pay with your own nerves.

4. Do not cry when your rich suddenly throws you, goes broke or (God forbid) will die. To such attacks it is necessary to prepare in advance, so as not to remain at the broken trough. Lawyers advise us to conclude a marriage contract (and carefully read it before signing). It is worth actively participating in the distribution of the family budget, getting your bank account, a separate credit line and constantly replenishing your own "stash". And consult a lawyer not only about the movable and immovable property of your spouse, but also the factories and ships belonging to him (that is, firms and firmochkas) so that it does not happen that you did not just stay in the "one shirt" at parting, but you suddenly discovered and the million debts of your ex-spouse.