Until recently you played with him in the store and "bought" his cars, crying with bright colors. Now he spends money on bullshit, asks expensive sneakers, "like everyone else," and quietly steals trifles. How to properly teach a child to money? So, we will begin our correspondence parent meeting: children and money - this topic concerns everyone.
INTRODUCTION TO THE COURSE
At the dawn of human life, money does not figure at all. As in the beginning of human history. Did the child like someone's fire truck? There are three relatively honest ways of weaning:
a) grab it and run away from the sandbox (seizing someone else's property);
b) fight off in a fight (war);
c) give her her bored tank for it (the peaceful exchange of "goods - goods").
Exchange process. Exchange - the prototype of monetary relations, and the propensity to it testifies to a high stage of development. Books, tapes, toys, disks - each object has in the eyes of the child a certain value, largely illogical, emotional. For example, an expensive German doll girl easily changes to a huge "china" in an almost shoebox.
The exchange of the "commodity-money-to-war" type enters the child's consciousness at different times. This is mostly programmed by the family. There is an opinion that children and money are incompatible things, the main thing is a developing garden, a music studio. But, thinking about the high, do not forget that only you can instill in your child the correct and calm attitude to money. If this inoculation is delayed by someone else with other life values, complications are possible.
First meetings. Allow money in the life of the child can be about 2.5-3 years, at the same time with other small items. For him it will be just an acquaintance.
Playing with the baby in the store, use your parents' imagination: take not buttons, but coins. Wash them together, brush them with toothpaste - at the same time show that the money is dirty.
For a child of 5-6 years old you can make paper bills of different countries - it will be, by the way, an occasion to talk about history and geography. Preschoolers can help you pay in the store, put the change in the purse: "We first count the paper money and put it in the pocket, they are the most important, and then the coins."
Serious relationship. Gradually, every child begins to understand that money can be turned into any things - toys, ice cream, a ticket to the circus. Already in 4-5 years, children are able to allocate reasonable desires among the congregation - of course, including a certain amount of pampering and pleasures.
Play these concepts in skits with a spoiled doll or a greedy bear, which require, for example, 10 ice cream "Gourmand". But every year your games should be closer to real life.
Children grow up - their desires and needs grow. Which is not the same thing. Jeans - this need (it is necessary). Designer jeans - this desire (I want). It remains to find an opportunity (I can). To make a purchase, it is necessary and sufficient that "it is necessary", "I want" and "I can" converge at one point. But...
"Parents - oldies finally can - complains to the psychologist 14-year-old Pavel N. - They find this your" I can "only for the most necessary" must ", so as not to go naked!" Note that Pasha is not at all "torn off" - a pleasant, developed teenager . In jeans from Armani.
The task of parents, and sometimes of a psychologist, is to open up the growing baby-foal to its own capabilities. Where do these magical resources lie, enough to "want"? The capital of each young tycoon stands on three pillars: pocket money, donated and earned.
THREE SOURCES AND THREE COMPONENTS
Pocket costs. Most often small daily sums are really needed for children from 6-7 years old. Items of expenditure are mainly food - juice or a roll at a break. But you can do without a bun! 15 rubles a day is 30 rubles for two days. And how much you save by Saturday ... Do not scold the child if he saves. But it will be wise to spend money, prioritize, be thrifty.
Teachers believe that within 3-4 months the child is accustomed to consider the surrender, to keep the money correctly, to remember how many are left. That's what categorically fails for younger children - this is planning. They do not know what "three weeks later" is. If you pay out a pocket for a month in advance, nothing will remain of them after 5-6 days. Therefore, in the first years, give money at least once a week.
Pocket receipts increase with the age of our children. How much to pay? There is no universal recipe. While you are staying close to a child for a child, you can easily imagine his real needs. Did he have a girlfriend? Friends have become frequent in the gym? You will also have to take into account these expenses, as well as expenses for "glands", cinema, cafe ...
Important. Pocket money is issued in the established amounts within the stipulated time limits, they are not subject to reporting (in any case, explicit) and can not be withdrawn or punished in case of loss or irrational expenditure.
Gifts. Most Russian psychologists believe that donating money to a child up to 14-16 years old is not worth it. Focus on his wishes - yes, choose with him - yes, hand in an envelope - no! The value of the envelope is translated like this: "I have money, but there's no time for you. I do not care what you are interested in, what your thoughts are busy with. Put your feet in your arms and yourself. "
If nevertheless one of the relatives gave a piece of paper - rejoice with the child! But the subject: "Remember, you dreamed of a garage for cars? Aunt Ira felt it! Tomorrow we'll go together to buy a gift on her behalf. " With a teenager these numbers will not pass, and are not needed. Just talk: how he will dispose of money - will he eat for ice cream or will he buy something worthwhile?
Important. The child should not spend the donated money as horrible. Agree that he puts forward an offer, and you take the decision together on the family council.
Work of minors. It is hardly worth seriously discussing the problem: do I pay money for studying, cleaning or walking a dog? Do not impoverish the high motivation of these daily duties - the desire for self-development and success, the desire to help parents, the love of animals. Another thing is bonuses, bonuses paid for "overtime". Wipe 6 tiles in the kitchen, collect 2 liters of raspberries at the dacha-this is a real labor feat for a person of 6-7 years, for which you can reward. An excellent option - a family-wide labor, which will together allow you to earn a little or save. So, for example, the family of 12-year-old Misha K. twice a year washes windows in the dad's office. Half of the money earned is traditionally eaten at the "Baskin Robbins", and the balance is divided equally. And although it is easier for Mom to give Misha this money for nothing (the family is not poor), for some reason she has already arranged this "subbotnik" for three years, sometimes taking Misha's friends.
Officially you can get a job from the age of 14. For example, for vacancies courier, promoter, landscaper and ad booker, adolescents find it easier to settle in the summer, during the holidays. The first two "professions" will require or help develop a teenager's communication skills, the ability to navigate the map, count the time. The maximum payment in Moscow is 6.5-8 thousand rubles a month. If your matured child decided to look for work - do not run ahead of the locomotive! It is easier for you to recognize and weed out questionable proposals and gently "shove" those standing. But! The final point in the choice should be put by the applicant.
Important. The child has the right to spend the earned money for himself. But if he wants to buy an ice cream cake for the whole family, that's a good sign. It is possible to tell in advance stories about the first salary of the father, the grandmother, the senior sister.
By the end of our improvised parental meeting, children and money are becoming not so incompatible concepts. But I would like to draw attention to the fact that, despite all the efforts of adults, sometimes children are still on the path of theft. Children steal money. Why?
5 BASIC CAUSES OF CHILDHOOD ADVOCACY
1. Insufficient attention from parents. Obedient children try to attract attention even in this way - look, I'm a thief! By the way, at the same time anything can become the object of theft. And stealing stuff from my mother's handbag here is the most "harmless" option.
2. The need for self-assertion. One classy chases the ball, the second in mathematics all the time, the arm pulls up. And if neither one nor the other - how to stand out? That would be to buy a cool "chip", so that all crowded to see! Especially in adolescents.
3. The desire to be no worse than others. It is directed at first to toys, and then - to clothes, "gadgets" and pocket money.
4. The temptation of impunity. When money "no account", when mom and daddy randomly shred paper in the pockets and drawers of the dresser, the child can hardly resist.
5. Extortion from older guys - this happens most often in school or in the yard.
OPINION EXPERT:
Natalia Panfilova, family psychologist
There will always be people who are richer than you. How can you help your children take this right? They begin to evaluate and compare the purchasing power of different families from the age of 6-8. Compare in the beginning toys, and then clothes, an apartment, a car. And the questions begin:
- Mom, why do not we have such a swimming pool in the country? Why does Katya drive a chauffeur? Will you buy a bicycle like Pavlik's? Boom in response angrily: "We do not have this kind of money, leave it alone," - not an option. You drive the problem inward, awaken envy and greed in the child, drop self-esteem. How to be?
Rule number 1. Do not lose emotional contact - communicate! With older children, you can talk about the future: "From your envy nothing will change. Do you want such a car - let's think about what and when it will be necessary to do it. We will definitely help. " Toddlers, on the contrary, switch, and for a momentary: "You think, a bicycle! We're going to the zoo tomorrow with Dad. " But do not build long-range plans, for a small child in a year - then never.
Rule number 2. Do not think that children are proud only of things. Would you know how they boast of our exploits! Mom's pies, father's volleyball on the beach, the elder brother in the car drove ... Constantly nourish the child's admiration for personal and family achievements.
Rule number 3. The amount of money a child has must depend on three factors: a) the ability of the family, b) the child's needs, c) the material level of his classmates. These factors are equal!
Rule number 4. Environment level, environment choose in advance. Is it worth "puffing up", earning money for an elite school, if your child is there to be ashamed of his Chinese cars or cheap sneakers? Choose a school, section, studio, where you do not have to come on your own stallion and in diamond cufflinks.