The difference in age from five to seven years
Some families decide to give birth to a second child only after the older one grows up - after about 5-7 years. Most child psychologists claim that such a difference in ages is very unfavorable. Is it really that bad? Let's consider together the positive and negative sides.
Positive sides
The biggest advantage of such a difference in the age between children is that the older child has already become independent and does not require much attention from the parents. He can watch TV, play with toys and even his comrades. In addition, the child already understands well why one should not make noise, he can help you in elementary things: give your baby a pacifier, bring a clean diaper or even play with it. At first glance, these are the simplest trivia, but they make life easier for the future mother.
In addition, the positive side is that the older child is unlikely to be jealous of the younger. After all, he understands that the little one needs care and that this does not mean that he is loved more. Although it is not necessary to deprive the eldest of attention, otherwise he will have a dislike for the younger at a subconscious level. From the outside all can look safely, but hidden jealousy can cause serious psychological trauma. So be careful.
Negative sides
The most important problem will be that at this age the older child needs to go to school. This period is very important not only for parents, but also for the child. Therefore, parents need to give their child a lot of time and attention - the centers of preparation for school, developing classes, speech therapists, the first class. All the time parents should be near the child, because for him it is a difficult psychological and emotional period.
If the second baby is born, then the time for the older baby will be catastrophically short. Naturally, conscientious mothers will try to do everything in time. But you just imagine how difficult it is, not only physically, but emotionally. So it's good to weigh everything before you take such a step.
The difference between children in eight-ten years and more
If the second child is "late", then the situation will be radically different from all the above.
Positive sides
If children have such a big age difference, then about jealousy and speech can not go. The elder will be perfectly aware that the appearance of the baby does not affect his relationship with his parents. Although this does not mean that you should not pay attention to the eldest.
In addition, an adult child will be able to give you full-fledged help: he can go to the store, cook food (at least fry an egg), wash children's clothes and even walk with the baby. But here it is necessary to draw a strict line - the older child can not in any case be turned into a nanny for the younger. You can not abuse abuse. After all, you can deprive your eldest child of his childhood.
Another plus is that the elder brother or sister will be the authority for the younger. He will be able to serve as an example for imitation, to look in case of necessity and teach something good and useful. As a rule, the younger child can ignore the opinion of the parents, but the opinion of the elder sister or brother is always taken into account. Your younger will always have protection and support in life, and the elder - a close and dear little man.
It is impossible not to mention the Pope. Most often an adult man is more responsible for the appearance of a second baby. Therefore, you can be sure that your husband will help you with everything. And the younger child will get more paternal attention than the elder got.
Negative sides
In such a difference between the children of the negative sides is not so much, but still they exist. And most often they are related to the age of the parents. You yourself should understand that there is a huge difference between pregnancy in twenty years and at thirty. A woman should understand that at this age pregnancy is more difficult, so a gynecologist will be your best friend.
During childbirth will also be difficult. After all, the body has already forgotten what the birth of a child is. In addition, if the difference between children is more than ten years, then physicians equate the woman with the primipara. Medical statistics indicate that half of late pregnancies end with a cesarean section. And it's not surprising. Because every year our body does not get younger, and we acquire various chronic diseases.
But this is not an excuse to give up the idea of becoming a parent for the second time. After all, children are our happiness, our continuation of the family. Therefore, the second pregnancy should be prepared more carefully and responsibly. It is best to start preparing for her in advance: together with her husband, visit a therapist, a doctor - a geneticist, a gynecologist. Check carefully and make sure that your health is all right, and you can easily endure and give birth to a second baby.
As you can see, it is impossible to say unambiguously what should be the optimal age difference between children. Everything depends on many factors and on a particular family. Therefore, it's up to you. The main thing is to remember that with the advent of the second baby, the older child should not be deprived of attention from the parents, he should not become a nanny for the younger. The most important thing is that both children should feel your love, care and attention to the fullest.
Also do not forget about yourself. After all, with the advent of a second baby, you will have less time for yourself. You will have to pay twice as much attention to your children. But your husband will be more responsive to the second baby, and you can safely rely on him and ask for help. After all, your spouse will have experience in how to swaddle an infant, buy it, feed or change a diaper. Plus, the older child can help you with the youngest.