Before you start this conversation, you need to calm down. Perhaps you are outraged and frightened by this development of the situation. However, do not immediately blame her husband - for starters it makes sense to understand that in his unexpected judgments there must be some logic, albeit alien to you personally. What should I do if my husband wants a boy and an ultrasound girl?
We do not need girls?
In the courtyard of the XXI century, and some men persistently believe that the boy - a child of the first grade, and the girl - the second. Indirectly in this opinion they are supported even by the nurses of the maternity home: at the discharge of the "dachshund" for the boy is always higher. Why is this happening?
Just Traditions
Your husband is a man with traditional thinking, and he has all the classical male myths: a guy is a continuation of his father, a guy is his own person, and so on. This is a child for a woman - he is a child: cares, worries, but at the same time pleasure. And for most men, the kid, especially the first one, especially when he just "started" - is such an idyllic picture from the advertising poster: a grown-up boy goes by the arm with his father for fishing or sits opposite him on the board of directors (this is someone with whom associated with their own masculinity).
The girl in this picture clearly does not fit. So what should I do if my husband wants a boy and a girl on ultrasound? To explain to the father that the son, maybe, does not go fishing with him or take over business experience, but, on the contrary, becomes a rock musician, it's useless. It is just necessary to understand that in such a form the father manifests the need to have contact with the child and participate in his growth and becoming. She does not know how to make a "girl's" dad, so it seems to him that he will be much closer with the boy, and the girl is my mother's daughter. In this situation it's best to surround the wife with examples of positive relations between daughters and fathers, explaining that for girls Papa is a very important figure: he will help her to feel interesting and attractive, will affect her self-esteem.Dive live examples of the fact that the girl often follows in the footsteps of the father and is his support.So you can slowly and surely change the "scenario" influenced by the cat My husband is at the moment.
Phobia is not in the sense of "dislike", but in the sense of "fear". Alas, many men do not understand how women are built, and they are frightened as something irrational. It can manifest itself in the form of chauvinism: "Baba-fools" itp But in fact it's not contempt, namely fear: "Woman is an incomprehensible being, but I love him." Nightmare! " In this case, and to a potential daughter, the dad treats like a "foreigner": here, they say, he will stay at home with two ladies, and there's no one to talk to.
How to be? This dad should often be reminded that relationships are built not only on logic and understanding, but also on emotions. It will be much easier for him to accept this if you surround him with sincere care. Of course, the future mother needs care and support herself, but a wise woman always calculates the situation in advance and makes literate "investments" in the future.
Potential suitors
Many popes sincerely believe that the future husband takes the girl from his father, and not from his mother. That is, a woman should have one major man in life (here is her father and her husband will exchange) and one woman is a mother, relations with which just do not spoil. As a result, a man wants a son - and let the wife be more jealous of his future daughter-in-law! How to be? There are also positive examples from life that show that relationships with parents are not as dependent on the sex of the child as on the upbringing and the atmosphere in the family.
I want a daughter!
Much less often fathers want only a girl. This is somehow not accepted, but it does. This is what such a desire is usually associated with.
Cross-likeness
It is often noted that a girl happens to be like her grandmother by her father, and a boy to his grandfather by his mother. Of course, in reality this is not always the case, but the myth lives and flourishes. As a result, your husband's desire to "repeat" his mother, if they have a warm and tender relationship, can manifest itself, it does not make sense to discuss that this moment can not be foreseen or adjusted even with the help of modern medicine.
Genetic diseases
Perhaps your spouse is afraid of conveying some problems that go "in the male line" in their family.What if? If such fears have serious grounds, then it is better for you to know about this and together with your husband to go to a consultation with a geneticist until now, genetics can be very, very much: give a fairly reliable prognosis, control the transfer of genes to the child at an early stage of pregnancy, when it comes to the most typical diseases, etc. But if the husband worries only about early baldness or nose potatoes, then, of course, medicine is powerless.
To mug in the morning cooked
Some men tend to idealize women: from the "princess munching marshmallows" to "the daughter will bake pies for papa." But girls are different, and not always the calculation of a caring daughter is justified: teenage girls all, more often want from fathers jeans and cosmetics. Yes, and tenderness and curls have the property of evaporating to adolescence. How to be? You should not destroy the illusions of the beautiful wife about the daughters, but gradually lead the conversation that the sons also bring to the family a lot of good and interesting.
Non-competitive battles
Some popes, who are not very powerful muscular, prefer daughters to sons solely because they are injured by competition with other men. Here, Freud's vulgar interpretation of his position on the norms of psychosexual maturation plays a role, and ordinary everyday stories about contradictory sons. How to be? In this situation, it is worth noting gently to emphasize the courage of your spouse and what he could teach the growing up son. Admire your man!
Hard case
Usually there is enough talk on souls, but it also happens that the husband "hurts with a horn," and that's all. Up to blackmail: "Do not give birth to a son - I'll leave" or "Or a son or an abortion." What's to be done? in you and not in your pregnancy.The problem is how does your husband feel about it.If it is a categorical position, it makes sense to visit a family psychotherapist so that he helps to understand what is hidden behind the screen of such an acute reaction to the sex of the child.Contact with a doctor - the best way to solve such a problem. A man is easier to assimilate such things and when he communicates with a specialist.