Let's not deny the obvious. A woman is a contradictory creature and can not always determine her own desires. Yesterday we wanted tender sex, and today the repetition of the script does not satisfy us. It is not easy to understand what women really want.
Determine your desires.
Sometimes we ourselves are not in a position to clearly define our desires. They seem to us vague, ambiguous. But you need to dig yourself and get to the point, and you will see that your dreams are really concrete. A reliable way to comprehend what is going on in your own head is to take a notebook and pen and begin to write down those very "vague thoughts". On paper, willy-nilly we have to formulate our desires. Do not be scared if the sentences at first look absurd. This is normal. When you feel that you have poured everything out, re-read what you have written and try to define its essence in one paragraph. Then - in two lines. And finally - in a nutshell. These last two words are the main element of female sexuality. They are the quintessence of your desire.
Indeed, we are rarely able to operate with precise language without resorting to outside help. Men literally have to learn to read thoughts, trying to decipher our unformulated wishes hidden in half-hints. As polls show, most of us want, but can not convey to the partner important thoughts. For example, how important for our sexual well-being are additional signs of attention in the form of bold romantic deeds, unexpected gifts and original compliments.
Important trivia.
A characteristic difference between female sexuality and the male is the greater dependence on external influences. If a man, when he finds himself in bed, completely switches to sex and forgets about problems at work, a broken car and a morning quarrel over a spilled cup of coffee, then a woman is able to completely lose sexual desire, yielding to the influence of small stresses. Sex for us is a continuation of the whole day, it is closely connected with all our life. If the day turned out to be nervous, most likely, you will want to splash out emotions, tearing off each other's clothes. If "lazy" - the strength is enough only for a short time making love before bed. If you can not get excited, until you reconcile with your husband, although he does not think that you quarreled, tell him about it. But do not exaggerate the colors. Not "How could you do this?", But "You know, I still feel uncomfortable because of the morning quarrel. Let's make it up again? "
Do not be afraid of diversity.
Women, like men, like a variety of sex, but they are often afraid to admit it. As anonymous surveys show, of the thousands of respondents, 46% would like to try anal sex, 20% are interested in same-sex sex, and almost all (90%) dream of surrendering passion in an unexpected place. So why do we so rarely admit it? Ironically, most women are afraid of the reaction of a partner. But if you are not sure of the approval, this is not a reason to remain silent forever. It is not necessary to talk about your desires "on the forehead", first try to watch a movie together, for example, with elements of rough sex. And after a joint view, ask your man how he feels about it. Most likely, your spouse will appear courageous and sincere in his answers, and you will finally be able to talk about this.
We are determined to change.
We are all victims of our habits. When we like something, we are ready to repeat it again and again. And so long as one and the same action does not get bored so much that it will produce exactly the opposite effect. Of course, it's difficult to refuse a reception that once worked "with a bang." But with this approach, sex will soon turn into a set of well-known instructions: to kiss here, pat there, slap, rub and so on. The surest way to get rid of a sexual routine is to change the time, place or style of a love relationship. It is for this to study your desires and be ready to make some efforts. Try to make love in new poses or in a new place or change the style of love relationships. For example, romantic sex - to passionate, aggressive - to playful. Do not indulge family stereotypes, but destroy them.
Do not have sex alone.
According to psychologists, the conversation between partners is of great benefit. For most men, it is very important to know what a woman wants from sex and by what specific actions she can be enjoyed. Unequivocally expressing your desires, you can help your partner understand what he is doing right, and what is wrong. Another plus of communication on intimate topics is that such conversations warm up sexual desire and cause acute arousal. It does not matter what and how you say, the main thing is openness and trust. Believe me, words that can make you blush, can give an unprecedented brightness of your sex life.
Set up for sex.
Women find it difficult to switch and immediately after an 8-hour day, preparing dinner and cleaning to engage in passionate sex. Take a timeout of 15 minutes and dedicate them to yourself - tune in to desire. First, clean yourself up: take a shower and make hair removal. Even if you make love with your husband, this is not a reason not to watch yourself and go to bed in the old flannel pajamas. Secondly, strok yourself in the truest sense of the word. Caress your clitoris, massage your stomach in a circular motion, penetrate your finger into the vagina. Your partner will be pleasantly surprised by your unusual passion. Also before the pleasures of love, it does not hurt to drink a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, a glass of liquor. A small amount of alcohol will help you relax and tune in to a romantic mood.
Do not be silent.
Few men are ready to adequately and with interest perceive women's wishes. Some may begin to think that a woman encroaches on their male dignity and interferes with the "legal" (from the male point of view) right to decide how and what will happen. The easiest way to talk about your needs at the beginning of a relationship. With constant, long-term relationships, it is better to closely monitor the actions of a man and be sure to praise him when he "hits the target." Express your gratitude at least two times - immediately after and then a day or two later. For example, sending SMS about pleasant memories. You can also try to describe in detail your "erotic dream", in which, without hesitation, tell about the desired behavior and their vivid reactions. Another option is to use third sources. For example, refer to the article you read or see the TV show and ask how your elect refers to the new information for you.
Stereotypes about female sexuality.
It is believed that women do not like pornography. Not true! According to anonymous surveys, about 60% of women watch pornographic films with interest. It turns out that we just do not hold out to men. Among them, fans of outright erotica are only 10-12% more.
Myth also can be called that women can safely do without sex. First, it's not for nothing that medieval doctors linked female hysteria with sexual dissatisfaction. Psychological stress, not finding a way out in sexual dysfunction, can result in anxiety, sleep disturbances and even nervous breakdowns. Secondly, the lack of sex suffers from our hormonal background, which can lead to serious health problems.
The fact that women are excited much longer than men, is also an idle speculation. American scientists have scientifically refuted this claim. They measured the degree of excitation of men and women while watching erotic scenes and concluded that both men and women reach a peak of sexual arousal at the same time. Another thing is that in normal circumstances, it is more difficult for women to tune in to sex because of stress and extraneous thoughts.
It turns out that the main element of female sexuality is not a stylish appearance and a pretty figure. Female sexuality is, above all, your feelings, thoughts and desires. It's the harmony between you and your partner. And even if we do not always understand each other, the crisis in relations can always be overcome if passion and love are burning in the soul.