According to sociologists, it is with the help of men that a woman determines her role in the world and attains her own "I". Dad, husband, friend ... You can list for a very long time. But let's talk about some of them. Who are the most important men in a woman's life?
1. Father
What do we know? Relations with the father are not limited to one upbringing. Sufficiently savvy in psychology, modern girls understand this perfectly. In this heap of family linen and the complex of Elektra, and the future ideal of the beautiful prince, and the relationship with the outside world. You, most likely, have already reconciled to the fact that your husband will be somehow similar to your father. Only here its influence on our future destiny is not limited ...
What do not we know? According to the opinion of Russian scientists, our happiness and success in 35 years directly depend on what kind of relationship we had with my father at 15. According to statistics, my daughters get big career successes. They are better able to build relationships with the opposite sex and are much less likely to start smoking.
What to do? Do not blame your parents for all your troubles. Mark Dorbich, a family psychologist, says: "All the best that fathers can teach is not related to living together. Soul warmth in dealing with the pope - that's what's important. And you can get it even at a more mature age. At any time in your life. " What is not an excuse to try to build a relationship with him?
2. Beloved man
What do we know? Even if we really love our partners, if we sincerely cherish our husbands - at some moments of our lives we want to literally kill them. And the reason is not that "we just were not lucky" ... Only we are to blame for all our problems (including with men). And only in this answer.
What do not we know? According to scientists, the attitude towards one's own half depends on how much we love ourselves. Constant dissatisfaction with our men, as well as a strong love for them, is nothing more than a manifestation of our inner complexes and expectations. That is why it is necessary to forget about the position of the "unfortunate victim" once and for all. Your husband is your conscious choice, and you see in him only those shortcomings that you have. No matter how difficult it was, it must be recognized.
What to do? Watch yourself. After all, your body - more precisely any barometer, a kind of "happiness barometer." As soon as you start a dispute, you feel that your blood pressure rises or your heart rate increases, this is the reason to stop. Think about: what is your body displeased with, in what you have ceased to trust yourself?
3. Former lover
What do we know? Only that we have a short memory. Sometimes it seems to us that the last lover was more romantic, sweet and sexy than your current man. But another option is possible: when from one mention of the former we begin to shake with anger.
What do not we know? Psychologists made an amazing discovery: from former lovers we want the same thing - eternal admiration. And this is quite a normal reaction. The main thing is that these thoughts do not take you around the clock.
What to do? To realize that former lovers are a great "cheat sheet" for our self-esteem. The direct path to the complexes is to underestimate and regret oneself. That's why it's best to forgive your ex and completely "let him go". Think about yourself: how much you have changed since you broke up with your past lover. You have become different, and you should not pull pieces from your past "I" into your future.
4. The chief
What do we know? A big plus in any team is a pretty boss. By the way, according to polls of Dutch sociologists, the work capacity of female employees is increased by 40% in the office with a beautiful boss. It's not that small, is it?
What do not we know? This rule only works until you allow yourself to cross the line and do not screw up the affair with the boss. According to statistics, in a woman's life, who once agreed to an affair with her boss, very soon problems arise. She loses interest in working and begins to work worse. Relations with the boss are distracting, and sometimes dragging into the deepest depression.
What to do? Try to love their superiors not for electric discharges, but for good working conditions. Believe me, the office is not the most romantic place! There are many places that are more suitable for heart activities.
5. Brother
What do we know? Girls who have older brothers tend to become more self-confident in women. The mere fact that an adult brother will always stand up for a sister gives the future woman the necessary sense of security. And the younger brother is a kind of "allowance" for playing in the daughter-mother at any stage of puberty. It is also extremely important for the development of the girl, the future mother woman.
What do not we know? Your brother's brain is the ideal male object for learning and a litmus test in order to determine your own phobias and misconceptions. You have a unique chance to raise from him the ideal main man, even if not for yourself. By the way, American scientists have discovered that older and younger brothers who have sisters in the future are much more fortunate in their personal lives than, for example, the only children in the family. So the brother and sister are extremely useful to each other.
What to do? To understand on a living example that our brain is arranged differently, and also to assess the degree of its tolerance towards various kinds of male manifestations (such as scattered socks left on the mat carpet and love for computer games) and finally come to terms with them. Besides, your brother is probably the only man on earth who can honestly tell you the truth about how you look or behave. This alone is very expensive.
6. Best friend
What do we know? Whether there is friendship between a man and a woman or not - one can argue long and hard about it, never coming to any conclusion. But you already know that you and Kolya-Yura-Dima have extremely friendly relations, behind which there is no erotic subtext. Or is it still there?
What do not we know? Mark Dorbich, a family psychologist, says: "Friendship with a man for most women is nothing but the most innocent way to change to her husband. And the safest. " In addition, 60% of the polled Europeans admitted that they would be happy to please their male friends. and even make a relationship with them.
What to do? It is not necessary to weave love intrigues into truly friendly relations. Before deciding on something, weigh all the pros and cons and think about what you are risking.
7. Male sister / girlfriend
What do we know? Husbands of close friends or sisters, no doubt, should become your "secret" associates. Who else besides you will tell them your favorite perfume brand of your girlfriend, remind you of your mom's birthday or help resolve any family conflict ?!
What do not we know? According to psychologists, your behavior with your beloved sisters is an indicator of your own self-esteem. You urgently need to correct something in yourself, if you want to like it. Convince yourself: there are many men in the world who are interesting to you, and therefore you should not even allow the thought of destroying the family of a person close to you. In the event that you notice any unambiguous signs of attention on his part, make an effort on yourself and do not pay attention to them and do not tell your sister about it. Temporary insanity of her husband will pass, and you will forget about it. The next possible mistake of a loving sister (that is, you) is excessive zeal in solving other people's family problems. You, of course, are an important person and probably know best what your kinsman needs, but you must allow the spouses to build their own lives.
What to do? Understand that the main sign of women's emotional confusion is an attempt to prove their usefulness and indispensability to men. With the husband of the sister it is necessary to be friends, moreover, he needs to help. But do it only when he asks for it.
8. Son
What do we know? That he is the most important man in a woman's life. That our boy is the best in the world, and only we can understand what he needs to wear, where to go and with whom to communicate. Quite often, excessive love for the son, we compensate for the failed relationship with men. Women often (though subconsciously) perceive a grown up child as a full partner and even "their" man.
What do not we know? According to statistics, 70% of "mama's little sons" who are overly spoiled by maternal love can not achieve success in their careers and are rarely happy in their family life. Do you want such a future for your adored boy?
What to do? Bring up a real man. By the way, "gentleman's skills", as well as independence and ability to make decisions, are inculcated only in childhood. You have to help your child get comfortable in this world, give him more freedom and stop playing "crazy mother" or "mom-girlfriend". Otherwise, the Oedipus complex will greatly complicate the life of your adult son. Your task - to be a mother, tender, loving, at the right moments of strict and, most importantly, fair.
Do you know that...
♦ Not all women remember with trembling their very first man. Thus, 40% of American women admitted that they deliberately lost their virginity with unfamiliar and meaningless for them a man.
♦ Most often we choose men who are like our first love. Psychologists explain this by the fact that subconsciously we are trying to take revenge for those failed relationships. Only having worked the situation (alone or together with a specialist), you can leave the vicious circle and pay attention to a fundamentally different man.
♦ According to statistics, before marriage, women are changed by 3-4 sexual partners. This helps the fairer sex to understand what they need from sex and life in principle.
♦ Girls raised without a father tend to change partners more often. But when they marry, such women value relationships more.