One of the most difficult human feelings is envy. She eats the person from the inside. After all, there is irritation, anger, resentment, and self-pity. Knowingly it is attributed to the list of deadly sins of a person, it can easily be destroyed by it. Our brain ceases to adequately perceive information and only repeats the same question: "What about me?". I do not think that someone is fine with this feeling of living. So let's understand - consider the meaning of the word "envy" in psychology.
What is Envy?
To begin with, we will understand the essence of envy. From the point of view of psychology, envy arises from the desire to compare something all the time. The human being is intelligent and thinking, he constantly analyzes something, and analysis without comparison does not do. From this it follows that people who do not feel jealousy simply do not exist. Another question is how much this can clearly manifest itself and influence our inner world. A comparison is directed to something that a person is deprived of. The subject can be both material goods, and individual qualities of a person. For example, the charm and ability to communicate. Every single person can not have everything at once, so there is always someone who has more. But this policy of infinite comparison takes its roots all in the same childhood. Even in the first grade, teachers compare children: "Here you are, Sasha, did better than your neighbor." And in the same role the parents: "What did you get for the work? And other children? ". And if the child has surpassed the others - praise. If not, they scold you. This kind of children's experience inspires us to further actions and "feats." Never compare a child with anyone, so that the line of envy does not become characteristic for them and in adulthood. The achievements of your child can only be compared with his own, to show him the development.
Envy appears not only because of comparison, envy is also competition. After all, as animals compete for the habitat, so do people. Of course, terrible envy exists between people who occupy the same social status in society, and claim the same material or spiritual benefits. We envy classmates, relatives, friends, colleagues. It is unlikely that someone, reading the secular chronicle, will envy a Hollywood star that she bought herself another villa. However, there are also such representatives who have pathological envy. They envy everyone and everything, on the street, at work, at the cinema. In this case, you should contact a specialist.
"Black" and "white" envy
We envy, we understand that this is bad. Conscience speaks in us, and we begin to seek an excuse that I envy in kindness. In the people there is a name of "white" envy, devoid of negativity. And here I am going to upset you: envy never changes its natural color. It exists by itself. If we really experience something good and sincere, then it's not envy, but admiration. You see your girlfriend in a new dress, and you like her. You are glad that it looks so beautiful, at the moment you admire, and do not envy. At a virtuoso concert, when you yourself never held the instrument in your hands, I do not think that you say "I envy him", rather "admire". But if you studied with him together, but you did not succeed, you are more likely to disguise yourself. Adoration is admiration, and envy is envy.
Close to reality
Many people can not accept other people's victories and ups, just because they do not know what they want from their lives. Of course, you can give a list of your desires. But will you be sure that this is your desire, and not copying someone. For example, you are trying to lose weight, envy your friends, who, in your opinion, are good figures. You try your best, but all is in vain. As a result, envy becomes deeper, there is always self-pity.
Maybe we should really start looking at things? Accept yourself as you are, reduce the importance of losing weight, and notice how the envy itself will disappear. There are cases when the problem, of course, needs to be addressed differently. Often an envious person simply can not achieve what he wants. It seems to him that a familiar company fell from the sky. He hardly envied him when he was "spinning like a squirrel in a wheel" to open a case. Stop and ask yourself a question: can you repeat this? Do you want this? When we have several goals equal to our forces, the object for envy does not appear.
Several ways to cope with envy
• How would you not like it, but admit to yourself that this feeling lives in you. This will already be a significant success. After all, those who flatly disagree with this, and are the main carriers of envy.
• Remember that envy can lead you to a nervous breakdown. I do not think you need it.
• Analyze to whom and what you envy, if it is difficult to do in your mind, make a list. For example, you are visited by envy about other people's husbands. So it's just an idealization. There are no perfect people in the world, and they have their negative sides. Do not look around, but rather pay attention to your husband, does he have a well of flaws. Turn to him, and who knows, maybe he will give you good surprises.
• Compare yourself with yourself, not with others. Rejoice in the transformation, and if you see regress, then proceed to take certain measures. Envy only distracts you from yourself.
• You rarely meet a person who is completely satisfied with everything in his life. Therefore, do not waste your emotions, feeling jealousy for an idle girlfriend, which contains her husband. Are you sure that she feels great in this situation? Enjoy better by what you have and go to your goals.
• If someone's success does not give you rest, then take a "lucky" a few lessons. Observe his manner of communication, behavior and appearance. But, in any case, do not copy it, because you are two different personalities.
• Find positive moments in what is not going the way you want. If your colleague is promoted instead of you, nothing, you will have less responsibility and spend more time with your relatives.
• Do not spend energy on envy, it is better to turn it into healthy competition. You will definitely get what you want.
• Do not think that comparing yourself with those who are worse and below you will help you. It helps only at first glance, but in reality you relax, and you also lower yourself by self-esteem.
• And do not provoke others to envy. Think about who and what to say. If you are used to telling everyone about your plans and intentions, give up these conversations. After all, for their implementation will require a lot of energy, which you spend on empty talk.
• Believe in yourself, in your abilities, strive to realize your dreams and hopes.
Having dealt with the meaning of the word envy in psychology, you better understand your actions. Stop ceasing to "eat" yourself and others about and without. Remember that envy is one of the deadly sins. With it you have to fight and win!