The third is superfluous or how to make a choice

Life is a complicated thing. After all, it never happens that a person has everything perfectly. Even love. For someone, it flows like a circle - two people walk together along a given trajectory, periodically getting into difficult situations, and, coping with them, do not stop, they do not diverge, they do not part, and everything goes and goes, to infinity ... This, perhaps , the most ideal "form of relationship". But so often it happens that love becomes "triangular" ...

If someone interferes in the relationship - it's not so bad. But if you allow this person to stand between the pair, then everything starts. Because by letting the "third superfluous" into your world, you create the most acute "form of relationship" in which everyone suffers, one way or another. Everyone thinks that he lives in clover with his second half. But when there is an "extra part", everything changes. Perhaps we all found ourselves in this situation.

You are happy with your loved one for a long time. He is kind, caring, intelligent, understanding or cheerful, handsome, active, cheerful. It does not matter what ... The main thing for you is the very-very. This person definitely made your life better. Even if you do not have many common interests, you are simply pleased to be silent with him, you only need to look into your eyes to understand everything. You feel good together. If this is so, then immediately you want to ask, why did you let someone in your third life? So, you just do not finish something, you deceive everyone, first of all yourself. So, the problem is buried much deeper.

Maybe you just do not feel that with you is the man who will be your support for the rest of the days? Or, on the contrary, you feel with him like a stone wall, so you are afraid of losing it, but you are not enough and you are looking for something in another person? There can be many options. And the choice must be made. It is not necessary to pursue two hares, everyone knows perfectly well how this can end.

How to make this choice? After all, both of you are dear to your way. First wait a bit, keep talking to both. It is difficult, perhaps soon you will begin to overcome the pain of conscience. But sometimes it helps. As they say, time will put everything in its place. If you understand that this can not continue further, it is time to finally decide.

Assess the situation again - listen to your heart. What does it tell you? Nothing? Then, probably, you do not love anyone at all. And if the heart gives you the answer: "I both love the same way," it means it got mixed up with you, since this can not be in any way.

Now you need to enable logic. Sometimes helps to make a list of positive and negative qualities. And then, comparing, you can already draw conclusions.
Another useful way is to talk about further relationships with both. Listen to how they see their fate with you, which they themselves want and expect from all this. It often happens that we think out everything ourselves, but in fact it turns out differently. Let's say you imagined a bright life with a person, a family, a lot of kids, and he just wants to have a good time with you, gain experience, pursue a career, and not build love.

Once you have decided, immediately tell the "loser" of your decision. Do not be afraid to offend him. You do not owe anything to anyone, do not blame yourself. You just choose your path yourself. Talk with him clearly and confidently, otherwise he can regard your words with the hope for the future, which you can not give him. Invite him to remain friends, but only if both of you understand that you need it.

We do not always make the right choice. And this, of course, is not consoling at all. Because of this, people are afraid to make a decisive step, thinking that they will later regret. Well. Perhaps ... But everyone learns from their mistakes, and this is how life experience develops. Priceless experience ... Do not look for easy ways, do not bypass obstacles, always achieve results, achieve what you genuinely want yourself.