In the distant past, the child could whip the baby in the cans even in educational institutions. To date, in the US, children can sue their parents if they hit the offspring. This is called a limb to the extreme, and we are after all looking for the golden mean. We can not bring an optimal formula for all children, so remember that all children are different and what will affect one sorb, can seriously shake the psyche of another child.
Of course, the model of upbringing often takes its own. And option two: either do the same as our parents did, or in any case do not do so. It is very important to see the personality in the child. Even in a one-year-old baby, which seems tamper-resistant, he already understands more than you can imagine.
Praise from parents
Praise and encourage the children will necessarily. Praise is an incentive, but feel the measure. Narcissism eschechenoku not made happy. Show the child that you are proud of him. But praise nestolko himself, and then the action that he had. Let's not say: "Kakayats well done!", But "You painted a very beautiful butterfly! You did it! ".
Games must be wuddiness. Principle - we will go to developing classes and then I'll buy you a candy - at the root of the wrong. The child should want to go there. This is not a school. Yes, and with the school this should not be allowed, since this is his child's "work." And we must approach from the other side. It is necessary to stimulate children. For example, agree that after receiving a certain period of good grades, the child will be able to get what he wants. Provide an alternative. Say, here and now you can buy him a bar, but if he reaches high heights, he will get a whole cake. This brings up the aspiration for the better.
You can also do the opposite. If the child does not fulfill his duties, which with age, appear in everyone, you must show that they are unhappy, upset. Say that you expected more and are confident that he is capable of it, just too lazy itaki result. Again, do not blame the child, talk about his actions or failure.
When you punish, you can use exceptions. You can not watch a cartoon, do not go out with the guys to walk, can not buy a toy (this does not apply to those purchases that you promised for something).
Do not turn the cleaning into punishment, otherwise the child will always be reluctant to do homework, the witch is associated with something bad.
A small child who raged and does not succeed in calming down can be put on a chair and allowed to cool down for a while. Do not talk to him and do not pay attention, because it will take a little time and he just tired of sitting there. You can try to put in a corner, but it's better just to give it to one. Few actually children who like solitude.
Methods of punishment
Needless to say, that we are against physical punishment. From the slap on the pope, nothing will change, and the capricious child will have another reason to cry and the realization that the one who is stronger can strike.
During hysterics, a child may need a physical contact. Just take him by the hand or press him. This is often very sobering. Tell the so-calmed baby because you were sad to see this and that he would not achieve anything like this.
There is a method called "One-two-three". When you give the child time to realize that you are already at the limit. Tell him that he has time to stop messing around or pick up toys, or start doing lessons. And if about three he does not do what you ask (what he needs), the punishment will follow. If the kid understands and corrects, tell him thanks and do not stress the understanding on what happened.
Think of what punishment you can avoid. For example, if a child constantly takes things that are within his reach, you can simply pick them up or give him a place to play by shifting his books and toys into the bottom drawers. When offering the child to try to eat yourself with a spoon, mentally prepare for cleaning, and do not be nervous about the spilled soup. You are a teacher, have patience.
You can encourage the child a new skill, but not for a natural need. A child who does not want to eat, should not get a sweet for eating a borsch dish. He can get it, because borscht will give him strength and energy and the candy will give him super strength. Feel the difference? A successful campaign on the pot is a joyful occasion and a reason to praise the baby, noting that he did everything and his leggings are not wet. A new toy will be unnecessary for this. Otherwise you will have to purchase incentives for the toilet wagons.
Do not forget that seizures happen to everyone, regardless of age. Do not punish a child for not having done something. Ask if he will have time to do it later, perhaps he is just tired or annoyed. In this mood, we ourselves do not hunt for work.
A child of about two years can explain why it is not allowed on the playground during the rain, only to do it in short sentences and distracting from the desired. But the older child is not only able to tell about the wet swings, about colds and stuff, but also to warn that he can go to dirty carousels, but when there are lots of sunny children, you will stay at home.
Find an excuse for praise, even when it seems to you that all your children do not. Help him become more self-confident. Pleasant words want to hear all without exception, and especially children from parents.
You can punish, disapprove of behavior, but you must explain that in his house he is loved and whatever it was, you always accept it.
It is important to know and it is impossible to indulge. Never you will not be safe from disappointments and this is absolutely normal.
All punishment and encouragement should be dosed and correspond not only to the situation, but also to the temperament of the child. With most kids, even very active, you can agree, there are also those who need a firm word and action. We have to behave stricter, but if only this model of behavior has an effect, then so be it. Just do not forget that there should be more encouragement.
We wish to find you the appropriate ways to encourage and punish your children.