Clear rules of punishment and bonuses
Firstly, in order for the baby to cease to be inappropriately for any reason, it is necessary that he has a clear schedule for the day. Many moms constantly regret their children, allow them to eat, when they want and what they want, late to bed, from the morning they can regret and not take the squatter off . This is fundamentally wrong. The child should know when and what he must do. At the age of four to five years, the children, of course, do not have too serious obligations. But at least, the most elementary he must perform without whims: there are useful products (and not those that like), go to bed at a certain time, collect their toys. If the kid refuses to do this, do not pay attention to his cries and tears. On the contrary, if he cries, it is best to ignore the hysterics. The fact is that with such behavior children attract the attention of their parents. If the hysterics passes all the faces, you can threaten the child and explain that he needs to calm down, otherwise he will receive something. By the way, immediately it is worth remembering one very important error of moms and grandmothers. Often they say: "Collect toys and then you will get a chocolate bar" and so on. But the kid begins to understand that for every request he has made, he must receive a prize. Such thinking will never lead to good. Vitoga, the children begin to do homework for a new prefix and go to school for the fact that their mother pays them money. If you do not want your behavior to result in such a situation, learn how to motivate your child's behavior differently. If he does not respond to your request, and even more begins to be rude to you, tell your child that while he does not do what you say, he will remain, for example, without cartoons. For the first time, children who are used to the fact that parents fulfill all their wishes often do not react. Therefore, you need to show calmness and coldness or to take the child of what he is used to. And do not need to shout at him, swear and beat. Just silently turn off the TV and say that he will not get what he wants until he does what you want. If hysteria begins, continue to behave calmly and indifferently. In the case when the kid and is obstinate and does you evil, inform him that with each of his shouting the punishment increases and he stays without cartoons any more for one day, and for two. At the age of four, children are already perfectly remembering everything and they begin to learn how to cheat. Therefore, the next day, he will definitely approach the kvm with a sweet smile and stories about how he loves Mom and asks to include cartoons. In this case, you should not lose your vigilance and do not "melt away." Remind him that he behaved badly and was punished before a certain period. Of course, the baby will begin to cry and beg, and then get angry with you. Your goal is not to break. And it's about anger, and about pity. You should calmly tell him that if he does not calm down this very minute, the tone will increase for another day. On some children this behavior works almost immediately, someone stubborn longer, but in the end the child remembers the basic rule well: follow the instructions of your mother and then you will not be punished.
Remember that as if the baby did not scream and was not angry, it should not be beaten. Physical punishment is the last thing. By the same token, it is unlikely that you will hit your son or daughter so strongly that he will remember it and fear appeared, and as you know, education based on fear leads to the fact that children just grow up and start playing before parents of approximate chords, and behind do , that they want. Therefore, try to always have an endurance to urge the child not physically, but in such a way that he understands: good behavior is the guarantee that the mother will fulfill his desire. But the bad is the main reason for all failures.
Guardianship of the grandmothers
In many families, where young parents live with grandmothers and grandfathers, it is the loving grannies who indulge children. In this there is nothing surprising, because they are their favorite grandchildren whom they want to give away. In addition, grandmothers have more life experience, so they are sure that they know better how to raise children. In the end, the kid realizes that if the mom and dad have something banned, you can always run to your grandmother and complain. And she, not only that will solve, still will scold parents for the fact that they are heartless.
If your mother or mother-in-law has chosen such a model of behavior, it is worth talking to her. The fact is that a constant criticism towards his parents is very detrimental to the child. He decides that their model of behavior is wrong, and he simply stops paying attention to the narodnik opinion. Of course, talking with her grandmother will not be easy, as she is sure of her rightness. So do not argue with her, swear and scream. Just try to explain to her by examples, what leads to a caprice. For example, a child does not want to go to bed. My mother forbade watching cartoons, and the kind grandmother, to whom he ran a sazoo, began to cry, solved it. But then necessarily the same situation occurs, in which the grandmother begins to swear and punish the child. At this point, remind her that the result of this result is her behavior. Of course, you should not expect that the grandmother will get it right away. However, if it is constant, but not very deliberately and without reproach to point out mistakes to her, eventually she will understand and at least partially stop pandering to the child.
Say "no" to the excuse "it's small"
And the last major mistake of education is the love of parents to write off everything that "he is small." Of course, the child is a child. Therefore, no one forces him to drag sacks in five years and carry out the whole work around the house. But if it's small, it does not mean that you need to do it for him. A kid should always perform basic things that correspond to his age. Especially if you know that he can do it on his own, he's just being lazy. For example, in four years the child should always take the utensils to the sink, wash themselves and brush their teeth, dress, clean their toys. If he does not do something, do not write it off at an age. Your baby is just lazy and waiting for you to do everything for him. And if it stops on time, then it will continue. Then the parents solve the problems and write the songs, paint the pictures and sew, and the children meanwhile sit with folded hands and repeat: "I can not, do it for me." So if you do not want to grow up a lazy and egoist, just learn to be more strict and adequately evaluate the possibilities of your child. And then your baby will grow up to be an intelligent, responsible and strong person.