Usually there are three options: live with parents or relatives, take housing on credit, or rent an apartment. Since the first months of family life rarely differ in big financial well-being, and renting an apartment does not come out, and it's not worth talking about a loan, what should a young family do? And there is only the first option.
And taking advantage of courtesy of some of the parents, the newlyweds successfully transport things to the already lived living space. And in this case, if for one of the spouses new sensations are brought only by the fact of marriage, then for the second one begins a complex process of adaptation to family life and to life with other parents. This option is not always successful, and two families, starting and taking place, are difficult to get along, but there are exceptional cases. In any case, both positive and negative aspects are found in such cohabitation. So let's consider them.
Positive moments.
The first positive moment for newlyweds can be the example of parents. Especially if they lived a long life in peace and harmony. This observation very well educates the young couple of the basics of relationships and conflict resolution. The second, and not unimportant, factor is financial. Since in most cases, parents take kindly to the majority of household expenses for their own kindness, which saves money for young people. The main thing is that they appreciate this gesture with dignity, and try to accumulate money for some impressive purchase, for example, for their own housing, car, vacation or most of the mortgage payment. The third, and probably the most basic positive, but at the same time, negative factor is mutual assistance. Positive, this factor can be called, due to the possibility of alleviating the burden imposed by household concerns both in one and the other family. This also greatly facilitates the workload of a young mother if a child appears in the family. Grandmother and grandfather gladly take on these pleasant troubles, when a newly born mother can afford to rest a little and regain strength. Similarly, subject to the birth of a child, again returns to the positive impact of the financial factor. A negative factor of mutual assistance can be called, since such assistance is not always at the required level, or even not always appropriate. As often, parents can confuse the concept of "help" and "full care." Accustomed cares for their child, parents take under the wing and the other half, thereby limiting the freedom and independence of the couple. It's good that at the start of family life young people always have someone to consult with, and just talk about problems, but parents should remember that no matter how worried you are about your children, it's their life, and do not interfere while they you will not be asked to do so.
Negative moments.
As they say, there are spots on the sun, and even in the most ideal family, there is always something to complain about. Especially if there are two families. And so let us begin to consider some of the negative aspects of cohabitation.
To begin with, this state of affairs is stressful for both families, especially if parents rarely saw the other half of their child before the wedding, and there is a possibility that the relationship simply will not work out. Especially parents need time to get used to the new role, and already the family situation of their child, and the young family get used to each other, and at the same time get used to living with their parents. In general, briefly, a separate housing would divide the problem in half. As mentioned above, there is usually a financial dependence of a young couple on their parents. Such a noble gesture, and the parents' good intentions, provoke a negligent attitude to the money of children, and later the beginning of the formation of their own family budget. A clear negative will be if the parents live in a constant conflict between themselves, and not infrequently draw in them and others. Then such a first experience of living together can hardly be called successful. Another "rake" for which both the newlyweds and their parents are at risk of stepping on, this is a misunderstanding, and the age-old problem of fathers and children. Usually everything starts from times, "but we are in our time", and ends with lengthy notations and sometimes a scandal.
Of course, there are a lot of other positive and negative points, but they will depend on the personal qualities of people, their understanding and ability to enter the situation. After all, what should a young family do if there is no housing, how not to rely on the support of parents? And parents can remember their first steps, especially if they also started. Then the understanding that a young family, if there is no housing, it is not sweet to do, does its job.
If you live this is not possible.
If you can not live with your parents, try to find some alternative for yourself as soon as possible. That's what it is recommended to do to a young family in such a case. There are many youth programs to provide young families with their own housing. Of course, practice shows that the percentage of positive outcomes from participation in such programs is minimal, but it's worth trying. If you managed to accumulate some sum, you can try to take a mortgage in a bank, or spend it on a rented apartment. Although some of this step can be considered wasteful, but believe me, then you can not restore your nerves and family relationships for any money. Also, such an act will remove some of the burden of responsibility from your parents, and give them the opportunity to live for as little as they want.
The main thing is not upset, if at first you do not succeed, material values - this is a gainful business, take care of your feelings and relationships. Be patient, understanding and wise in your own way. After all, only together you can achieve, such a success you deserve.