What to do not to worry about a guy

Love is the purest, most beautiful feeling. So they write in lyric verses and third-rate female novels. But in fact, it's not like that at all. And as often happens, when this great and beautiful feeling, in fact turns into tears in the pillow, hysterics and torn nerves. What should I do not to worry about the guy? An urgent question, is not it?

Why is the girl going through because of the stronger sex? There are many reasons, but most often, and most painful, we suffer when we do not feel the answer to all that is escaping from the heart. But what to do in order not to worry about the guy? What thoughts gnaw you day and night, preventing you from forgetting your sleep and rest from all these personal problems?

I do not like. DO NOT LIKE. Scary sounds, do not you think? Indeed, this fact is very painful and unpleasant. And to live with him is even more terrible and unbearable. The brain understands that with this it is necessary to somehow fight. And the heart does not want and can not give up its feelings.

In order to live, one must be able to overcome oneself, otherwise even the sunny day will become rainy, and this rain will settle in the heart forever.
Therefore, to begin with, let's try to include logic. Of course, in a person in love, she atrophies completely, and yet you need to collect the will into a fist, and force yourself to think, analyze.

There is one unwritten truth, which says that true love does not bring pain. A real man will never make a woman cry. Hence? ..

And then the brain turns off again. Because a beloved man can not be unreal. Let him be an alcoholic, unemployed, with three incomplete formations, an infantile essence and total lack of adaptability to life, still he is the real and the best.

Or, he is so strong, intelligent, unapproachable, cynical, special and unforgettable, that in him there simply can not be anything, absolutely nothing wrong.

In short, there can be many options, but the conclusion is one - the valuation of a man in love, often too idealized, and the positive aspects of her adoring object are hyperbolized.

Therefore: the second attempt involves logic. Of course. The heart fights even more, because if it works, he will have to doubt his ideal. In short, the task is not from the lungs. But I still have to try. And when the head finally works, you need to do this: take a piece of paper and write all the bad and good qualities of your loved one. Look, what's more: positive or negative. Often, there is practically no negative. This is understandable. How can there be something bad in the ideal?

Well, we move on to the next stage of introspection. Here things are even more complicated, because now we have to fight with our own self-deception. As it's not strange and scary sounds, but, in fact, a lot of positive qualities of your loved one in fact turn out to be negative. It's just that you need to understand, do not reject and believe.

If you think hard, it may turn out that he is not at all compliant, but spineless, not dreamy, but inattentive, not inimitable, but simply too narcissistic. This list can be continued indefinitely. Of course, every lady will have her own variations, but the conclusion is, after all, one - he is not an ideal, he is just a man. And the same as he set. And there is and even better. Much better. So is it worth it to be killed?

By the way, I want to note right away that what has been said above does not mean at all that your beloved person is a bastard, a rare drubber and a schizophrenic with maniacal inclinations. He's just not the man. Not the one you can live with all your life. The fact is that all of its negative aspects, which are now so easy to idealize, will become more visible with time, because life will begin, family life. And try to imagine a loved one in the home. Only without idealism. Really. Here he sits with you, drinks beer, the university has not finished, there is no work, the children do not listen to him, because the pope is too accommodating, so it is not authority. And you drag the whole family on yourself, work on three jobs and damn the day when he did love you. Of course, there are exceptions and people are changing. Well, if not. Would you say later, such grown-ups, wise with experience and battered women: it would be better if I fell out of love. Then I would suffer a year or two, but now I've been dragging this little suitcase all my life without a pen.

By the way, you can now again say that your beloved is really not that he is good and real. I'm sorry, but I will not believe it. Real men do not allow women to suffer, even to those they do not like. These men have a special male wisdom and the ability to make sure that the lady does not suffer. Yes, indeed, they are able to explain the truth of life, and after their words the pain is dulled, and after that it completely disappears.

So think about expensive women, think carefully.

It's really hard to get away from love. And sometimes it seems that it is impossible to survive this pain, that this is the last love in our life. So, in fact, only it seems. Eternal love is only mutual. Undivided love sooner or later fades. You just have to endure and find strength in yourself. You need to get out of bed, throw out a tear-stained pillow, put yourself in order and go out into the street. You can not be afraid of new acquaintances and new men. Because true love can be among them, so do not be so self-sacrificing to fight off your fate. If you constantly think that one does not love me, you can not miss a dozen, in love with you to the ears.

Well, if after all, having thought over and analyzed everything, about what was said above, having drawn conclusions and admitting that he is far from being a prince on a white horse, you still want to be with him. Well, one conclusion: you like to suffer. Therefore, you do not need to ask what to do in order not to worry about the guy. Your pain and your love give you the meaning of life. This does not mean that you are a bad person, and does not even mean that you are weak. It's just that you are like that. To all the stars you get through thorns, and even through places worse. So you just have to agree that you recognize love only in this form and enjoy what you have. And maybe twenty years later, coming from his three works, you look at your unrecognized genius, and he will embrace you and say: "I love you." And you will understand that in independence of all this, you are still the happiest.