Should you move with a boyfriend under one roof? And how will this affect your intimate relationships? And not only intimate? This question worries many modern women. After all, the standard scheme: a wedding - a joint life is already considered almost a relic for many of us. And what if "we do not get along with the characters"? That's why many people prefer to move in advance. What follows then? How to behave correctly so as not to turn life into a battlefield? You will be surprised, but there are only 5 basic rules of living together. It's simple. Honestly.
1. If you do not know his patronymic, take your time. A good example: the experiment on coexistence began fabulously. Friends introduced them to the suburbs, at a jazz festival, and they instantly reached out to each other. A week later, he confessed her love, and a month later moved to her. The first nights on the common living space proceeded like this: nine minutes for dinner and a television, then three hours of awesome sex. Everything was very, very good. But four months later he escaped, putting his garbage in one sports bag. What did they destroy? Long to list. A thousand and one nasty trifles of those that happen daily and hourly.
He did not know how to tolerate. And she, too. He was offended - and so was she. If he could prove that he was devoted to her, like a Labrador, she could forgive him the habit of scratching his back with a fork for food. And if she had the intelligence and desire to know what his dad's name was, he probably would not have twitched so much from the fact that she never closes the toilet door. Never. In general, the usual story of how life killed everything. So please be careful with this. Try to delve deeper into your new "roommate". Learn more about it, in advance, think about what you would be willing to forgive him. Compromises are necessary. Without them, living together is just nowhere. Proceed to the next rule.
2. Keep the distance - a pledge of fresh feelings. In the world there are only single exceptions to this golden rule. For example: Dima lived together with his girlfriend Olya for two whole years, and they are so indecently happy that they can not be looked at without tears of emotion. Dima still timidly appoints her dates, and she still leaves him with love notes, sometimes quite playful, in the most unexpected places. And everything is so wonderful, that sometimes I just want to ask: how can you do something ?!
In general, it is still unknown how it will end. More often than not, people are simply fed up with a constant "honeymoon", as an excessively sweet tea. Distance in a relationship is simply necessary. To leave space for fantasies, secret desires, insane passions. When everything is predictably fine, day after day - it will sooner or later get tired of it. Especially if young people live together. Although, God forbid each of us to fall into the category of such exceptions ...
3. Struggle for your independence. Why? Because you are two completely different people. Never forget this! A good example: Dean and Kolya did everything together. Anytime and anywhere. And then suddenly in one "beautiful" evening in their relationship as a dam burst. It turned out that each of them simply tolerated, obeying the other. But love won, and they could find a common solution. Now they even have dinner separately. Arriving home, Dean leans on apples, and Kolya, in his own words, eats "something roasted." "In the evenings, I eat early and something light, and he dines late and prefers fatty and spicy," says Dina. "We eat alone, that's the only dessert we have, of course, common." Problem solved. Everyone stayed at it not to the detriment of relations. Honestly and in an adult way.
4. Do not go for the sake of saving your novel. It's just as vulgar as trying to get pregnant, so as not to lose a loved one. A clear example: Yura imagines that a common apartment (of course, with expensive fashionable furniture) will help him to keep a mistress next to him. But there was a misfire - they quarreled because of the color of the wallpaper, against which their mutual passion gradually faded and faded. "Joint life only exacerbated our loneliness," complained Yura and immediately rushed to order new fashionable blinds.
If you are not sure about the power of your feelings, or just not yet morally ready for a life together - do not be silly. The total housing - oh, will not save your romance! And can aggravate the problems. And how!
5. Give your loved ones keys (from locks). Sometimes it is not necessary to "completely" come together. You can just exchange keys from your apartments to have access to each other at any time. But do not live together. A clear example: Christina and Mitya found that one can live, as they say, here and there and exchanged keys from their apartments. "Now my wardrobe is stuffed with rags, but at the same time I have saved a space where you can breathe," Dmitri rejoices. "In other words, only her dresses and a ski cap have moved to me!"
It really can be a way out if you are not yet sure of the intention to finally get together. A sort of "transition period." And there - time and feelings will show.