He painfully perceives remarks in his address, especially all this happens in children. Let us all remember our wonderful childhood, what was it like? What happened during these years?
"Why do children think that they are not loved? "Is a rather old and well-known question. If you've read one of our articles before, then you should know that every child just needs the attention of adults, their love and care. Children, because of their young age, do not yet know life, do not understand how many problems there are around. Life seems to them a fairy tale with a happy ending. But it's worth it to punish my son or daughter for a fault, raise her voice a little and ... What? Children think that they are not loved. Why is that? What is the reason for such a painful perception of the world around us. Everyone faced similar problems in his life. Surely you thought about it. Let's try to find out the reasons for these terrible thoughts.
There are many reasons for this. For example: since infancy, the kid is constantly surrounded by care and attention of mother, father, grandparents. He does not give up anything. All his whims are instantly fulfilled. The kid gets used to this way of life, it becomes the norm, in another way and can not be! This is in the understanding of children the manifestation of love or confirmation that they are loved.
And suddenly there are changes going on ... Kindergarten. School. Duties, high requirements. Probably, there is no such person who likes to fulfill the demands of others, especially if he is used to another life. Difficult relationships with other children. It is necessary for adults to show rigor, exactingness, as children begin to perceive this as confirmation that they are not loved. Mom makes me do my homework, she does not like me. Parents scolded for bad grades - they do not like me. Further more. You can not go camping with your friends - they do not like it. Do not give pocket money - do not like. Etc.
Let us consider, for example, the opposite situation, when a child from the very first days of his life is accustomed to the strictest discipline, grows in rigor and obedience, fulfills all the requirements of his parents and adults. It is understandable that at first it seems to him normal. He simply does not imagine a different life, other relationships. He got used to the rule: the adult word is the law. He diligently studies, helps adults in the household, looks after his younger brother and sister, goes to the store. Upon the first request, it fulfills all the requests of the parents. It would seem that everything is normal, it should be so it will always be. But, sooner or later, the child will reflect, seeing the relationship in other families. Learning the life of other children. Children have the ability to compare, think, analyze, but in a childlike way. They come to a conclusion. That they are the reason for this attitude towards them. They are not like that. They do not like them. Children begin to believe that they are doing something wrong. If parents scolded for bad grades at school, then the children begin to believe that they are stupid. If the mother does not show love and care, it is because they (the children) are bad, ugly. Children are looking for the cause in themselves. And they have one answer. They are sure that they are not loved.
Perhaps these examples are slightly exaggerated, but, unfortunately, in our lives they are not uncommon. I think you've met with similar families and you know that they can not avoid problems. This can manifest itself in different ways. In some families, children run away from home, start to grow rude, get out of parental control. Quite often cases of suicide, which, undoubtedly, are the most tragic and irreparable consequence of such education.
What to do? Known and probably the most frequently asked question. Indeed, why do children think so and do parents really dislike children? And the whole problem is that adults often forget about the fact that our children are our continuation, it's a part of us in the pursuit of money, in the workplace and turmoil, in domestic chores and everyday employment, in personal problems and in the search for oneself , only very small. And if we brought them into the world, then we simply have to do everything that depends on us, so that they feel comfortable in this world. Help them understand the complex human relationships. Our future depends on us only. Who, if not parents, will help children to adapt in the adult world, will prepare them for life. And you need to start with a simple. With the first children it is necessary to say that you love them. Smooth them over the head, hug and kiss again, children should feel your warmth both literally and figuratively. They just need to be sure that at any time, in any difficult situation, they will not face a one-on-one problem, they need to be sure - their parents will always help, will always help them. They will help, prompt, advise, find out from any difficult situation. They will not shout, they will not blame everything, but together they will understand the difficult situation. Children should be sure that their parents respect the opinion of their children. After all, if something happens and you just need a person who listens, understands, prompts, supports, advises, then you must do everything to let your children know that the first person to be trusted is the first person to tell everything, the first person a person who understands and helps in everything to understand - it's mom and dad, family. Sometimes we do not notice how our children at a certain age stop sharing their secrets with us, do not talk about their fears and feelings, and sometimes we just brush them aside, saying that you have problems there, we have enough things to do, with them to figure it out. And this is the beginning of the problem. Children are looking for those who understand them, listen, support, prompt, advise something worthwhile. Who knows who your child will find. Think about it. Try not to miss the chance given to you by life to grow a real man, able to withstand in a storm of life, capable of adequately perceiving everything that is happening around.